Denial
by GeekBastard23
Summary: Tony is in denial and McGee is entirely to blame for it because, really, without him, Tony would have never even noticed that he has no feelings for Gibbs whatsoever... right?  Tony/Gibbs Slash!
1. Blame it all on McGee

_**A/N: **_

Another Tony/Gibbs Slash story (yeah, I got hooked xD). There are probably next to no spoilers as this isn't set in any particular season. So yeah, nothing much to say right now, I just hope you like the start of this one and maybe leave a review! :)

Disclaimer: NCIS belongs to CBS et al. [Also, I shamelessly stole the last line from an ancient episode of Grey's Anatomy].

* * *

><p><em><strong>Denial<strong>_

**Chapter One: Blame it all on McGee**

Tony DiNozzo was in denial.

Not that that was a particularly astounding fact because, really, he kind of always was in denial about one thing or another. But this time it was different, this time it was something else entirely. This denial thing had grown out of proportion in a way that even scared himself whenever he gave it more than a few moments thought.

And it was all McGee's fault.

Yes, in fact if the goddamn probie hadn't insisted to go out to dinner with him, Tony would have never known about such a thing. If McGee hadn't taken him there, he would have had his happily ever after with that thing called denial.

But no, McGee _had_ to ask, _had_ to drag him to that stupid restaurant and of course, Tony's shoelaces _had_ to loosen themselves up on the way to the restroom and of course, Tony _had_ to crouch down to knot the laces at the exact moment that one Leroy Jethro, second 'b' for bastard, Gibbs _had_ to waltz into the place, _had_ to have his arm around one of those beautiful redheads and of course, their eyes _had_ to meet at the exact same moment when Tony was about to get up again and of course, Gibbs _had_ to avert his glance immediately, _had_ to act like he hadn't even seen him.

So, really, it all was McGee's fault, there was no way around it. He would have to confront him about it, would have to tell him never to eat dinner with him ever again. But then again, wouldn't that mean that he had gotten over the denial? Probably yes and Tony had no intention to do so. He would not acknowledge the lunacy of it all. He just wouldn't.

Because that thing that had been tugging so uncomfortably at something buried deep inside of him as he had seen Gibbs with that… woman (and yes, he had thought of her in various other, not as nice definitions, too) had _surely_ just been a sign that the food he had eaten before had been foul and had had _surely _nothing to do with the fact that Gibbs hadn't been at home, preferably alone in his basement, that night. If anything - and Tony wasn't _that_ much in denial not to admit that this thing wasn't entirely to blame on external factors but maybe a tiny little bit, on that weird stuff called feelings - had he been hurt that Gibbs hadn't even nodded at him, let alone had said hello. So, that must have been it. He was just a bit hurt that that redhead had screwed with his boss' mind, had made him act like he didn't even know Tony.

That surely must be it… right?

And because Tony wasn't one to brood over things for too long, he had decided to just take action. And it was not like one would think. Of course, he just didn't walk up to Gibbs and ask why exactly he had chosen to ignore him because that would be giving in to the denial and Tony really didn't want to do that – ever. And as he was a man of many stupid words and probably even more stupid actions, he had just decided to go out, drink a couple of beers (without McGee because if he would have been there, Gibbs surely would have shown up, too. In retrospect though, he wished he had taken him after all but for entirely different reasons) and hopefully hook up with a beautiful not-redheaded woman.

The night had started out very satisfying, had proven to him that he had not lost his mojo after all, had proven to him that he had _not_ freaked out over nothing because after two, three or four beers that smoking hot girl had approached him, had asked him to dance, had agreed to a couple of drinks and hadn't objected his offer to walk her home afterwards. It had all gone so smoothly that Tony should probably have known that it was all too smooth, that something had to go wrong in the end.

And so it did, which in return, had led him to the realization that having McGee there to stop all the craziness would have been a smart move, a very smart move indeed. But he hadn't dragged him to the bar with him and that was why Tony was lying in that girl's bed now, feeling utterly confused – no, that didn't cut it at all - he was dazed, confounded and maybe even a tiny little bit embarrassed about it all because that was _so_ not like him. This was so not a thing that Tony DiNozzo did. And yet, he had.

He wasn't talking about having a one night stand because that _really_ was a thing that he did – not as much as he used to but still quite often. No, he was confused, dazed, confounded, maybe embarrassed or whatever about something else entirely, even though he was sure that the girl (and seriously, what was her name again? Had he even bothered to ask?) hadn't even realized it. It was the fact that he had felt the need to talk himself to actually go up with her into her apartment, had felt the need to talk himself to get busy with her. That simply wasn't a thing that Tony DiNozzo had ever had problems with, not when a woman was so willingly complying with his wishes.

But to add insult to injury, that wasn't even the worst thing about it all. As he was driving in and out of her, eliciting that cute little moans from her, he couldn't help but wish it would be over soon, couldn't help but think about how much stronger arms, how much more calloused hands would feel on his back. But before that thought had even formed itself in his mind completely, the woman under him had tightened around him and he had hurried to release a few half-hearted grunts himself and had faked, had actually _faked_ his own orgasm.

So, he was lying there now, staring at the girl next to him who was already sound asleep, and couldn't help but realize that he was so screwed – and McGee was to blame for it.

He suddenly couldn't take being there if only for a few more seconds and hurried to get dressed, hurried to get out of there. He didn't care what that girl thought of him, didn't care that this was as bad a relapse as it could be – because seriously, he had sworn to him to grow up after all. But he just didn't care. He just wanted to get away from her, from all of that, from all those thoughts. And it was when he realized one thing:

Denial really wasn't just a river in Egypt. It was a freaking ocean.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think, please! :)  
><em>


	2. Momentary Insanity

_A/N: Thanks to all of you, who alerted, favorited and especially reviewed that last chapter! :) I tried to reply to all of you individually, if I have missed someone, I'm sorry :)_

_Hope you like the next chapter, too! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Two: Momentary Insanity<span>**

Momentary insanity. That had to be it.

He had probably been suffering from the flu or some other weird disease and that was why he had temporarily thought about having sex with Gibbs and even that only for a few seconds. He had probably been drunk, the girl he had sex with had probably been a bore and that was why his thoughts had drifted to his boss. That was all and Tony was determined to write it off as what it was – momentary insanity.

By the time, the weekend had passed and he had to go back to work on Monday, he fully intended to forget about it, was sure that he was over that – whatever it was.

Or so he thought.

Because as he strolled into the place, his famous DiNozzo smile plastered on his face, overly cheerful greeting Ziva and McGee and then shortly nodding at Gibbs, he felt that weird stuff inside his stomach again. It was only there briefly but not too briefly for him to not notice it. He hastened to sit down, to look as busy as possible because otherwise he would have been the in the sole attention of the bossman, which in return would lead to having to look at him, which in return couldn't do any good – at least not for that weird thing inside of him. And he was sure that he would catch himself staring at those calloused hands, imagining what it would feel like having them cupping his own face, imagining what it would feel like to be held close to him.

Woah, wait!

Where did that come from now? He was so over this thing. So over actually that there never had been a thing in the first place. He must still be sick. He brought his hand to his forehead, feeling his temperature. He must surely have a fever. But he didn't feel that hot at all. Well, he was always hot but in the most not temperature related definition of the word and that was not what he was aiming at in the moment. He subtly shook his head, desperately trying to direct his thoughts into a whole different direction. But just as he had focused on something really disgusting – and what could be more disgusting than one of Vance's used toothpicks? – he heard Gibbs growling something about a dead Marine in Quantico. And that was when he had to finally look at the guy, wearing his usual baggy jeans and polo shirt – a light blue one today that really brought out the color of his eyes.

Wait, _what_?

Tony closed his eyes for a moment, vigorously shaking his head in his thoughts before he finally got up and grabbed his backpack, trailing behind the others, so that he wouldn't catch a glimpse at Gibbs' backside. Tony groaned inwardly and rubbed a hand over his face. What the hell was he thinking about? When had the affection for the guy shifted from admiring the boss to… this? This was wrong on so many levels that Tony groaned, loudly this time which caused Ziva and McGee to turn around. Gibbs, of course, didn't notice, just continued his journey to the elevators. He smiled at the other two agents - a little more at Ziva because McGee was still the guilty one here - signaling them he was okay.

He hoped the case they were just heading to was a tough one, leaving them with no time for themselves, leaving them with no time to even think about something else than the murderer.

Tony got lucky – or as lucky as one could get with a potential serial killer. Two other Marines hand ended up dead over the next week and it had taken them almost two weeks until they had finally caught a break and were able to put the bad guy behind bars.

But Tony's insanity turned out to be not momentary. Au contraire, his fixation had, if anything, gotten even worse. He blamed it entirely on the fact that he had practically seen the guy 24/7 the last two weeks and that he didn't really have the chance to get out of his headspace. So, that must be it. He just needed to get out, score some chick, watch a good distracting movie or anything. Just anything.

_Far, far away from Gibbs._

He ended up home alone with an _Indiana Jones_ movie because nothing screamed more 'Man!' than a college professor with a whip, right? He even managed to have his full attention on the movie for a while – a long while even because the movie was almost finished – before his thoughts strayed again with no reasonable cause. First, he just thought about the case, thought about how McGee had been able to pull off hacking into the CIA database _again_, thought about Abby's exaggerated enthusiasm about one won bowling match. But then, _of course_, his mind had to betray him again, thinking about Gibbs' intense stare as he questioned the killer, the way he had leaned into him, his lips only inches away from the suspect's ear and how Tony wished those were his ears.

Another groan, another shake of his head and he stopped the movie and instead booted up his laptop. There was only one thing that would take his mind off all of that insanity at the moment. And no, Tony wasn't proud of it but desperate times call for desperate measures. He hadn't done it in years actually because, really, his fantasy was sufficient most of the time. That was if he even needed it – most of the time, he actually had some girl with him anyway. He browsed through a few websites before he found a suitable one. Clicking through the videos, Tony tried to avoid the ones with man on man action. But none of the others seemed to be appealing to him either. And that was when he realized one thing. There was only one way to get his sanity back and not just for the moment but for all times to follow.

He clicked on the first gay video he could find, putting the laptop back onto the coffee table and settled back onto his couch. This would be it – the magical cure to all his problems. Because really, nothing would turn him _off _more than gay porn – that was for sure. And once he would have proven that to himself, he would be able to go back to the way things were pre Stupid-McGee-dragging-him-to-the-damn-restaurant-just-to-have-to-see-Gibbs-with-that-woman. Yeah, this was it – the panacea.

So as Tony watched the scene unfold on the small screen of his laptop, he was sure that this would help – one and for all. A pizza delivery man (and really, how stereotypical was that even for porn?) dropping off the purchase and getting a good blow job instead of money and the movie was in full swing. Tony felt himself relax back against the cushions, glad that he was able to prove the point to himself that he was far from being gay, that he was far from having the hots for his goddamn boss.

It was only halfway into the movie that he realized that he had unconsciously begun to touch himself through the sweats he was wearing and that he was indeed far from being not hard. As soon as he had noticed that fact, he jerked his hand away and quickly shut the lid of his laptop.

What the hell?

He groaned and sunk back onto the couch again, desperately trying to focus again. On what exactly, he had no clue. He just wanted to draw his thoughts away from those two men. What in the world was wrong with him? It wasn't like he was homophobic. Far from it actually, two of his closest friends were gay and he had never had any problems with it but that didn't mean that he was, too. He had never looked at a guy twice before, had never thought about what it would feel like having one in bed with him, let alone kiss one. So, what the hell had happened here? Something was seriously wrong with him for sure.

But it was what it was and Tony was still sure it had to be momentary insanity.

He would just ban the thought out of his mind, would find excuses for the world and himself and then he would simply sit back down, cross his ankles and pretend like all of that, all of that insanity, had never happened.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be rad! xD_


	3. Trial and Error

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews, alerts and favorites! Keep them coming, please :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Three: Trial and Error<span>**

Looking back at the whole thing, Tony knew that it had all been too convenient and too coincidental. And being a scholar of Gibbs, he knew better than to believe in coincidences but well, he couldn't quite find a better definition for the whole thing because, really, there just wasn't another one.

So, of course, one of his frat brothers, Paul, had called him early on Friday morning, asking if he'd be up to going out with him and his boyfriend of three years, Jasper. Tony had promised to come as long they wouldn't catch a case and had actually been really looking forward to it, as he hadn't seen Paul in what felt like forever and for once the team wasn't on rotation for the weekend.

They had met up at a bar that was known to attract a mostly gay audience but Tony hadn't thought much about it because they used to meet there all the time and also because his moments of insanity and denial were long gone by now, thank you very much. So what was there to be nervous about, right?

The evening had started out nice enough. They had chatted about nothing in particular, catching up on each other's lives, laughing about memories of their time together at OSU. Tony had relaxed shortly after his second beer and had enjoyed the night, had enjoyed his company. Once or twice a guy had walked up to him asking for a dance but he had politely declined the offers.

"You know, just one dance doesn't make you gay," Paul had grinned at him after Tony had said no to the third man.

"I know," Tony had answered, keeping his tone light. "Just wasn't my type."

Paul had shot him a surprised look at that and Jasper had whispered something into his ear that Tony didn't quite catch but he wasn't really bothered. Tony let his glance drift around the bar, letting his eyes rest on two women who were standing in the far left corner, kissing before he looked away again quickly, mildly satisfied with the fact that he _did_ find them rather sexy – both of them. He let his eyes wander to the booths and came to an abrupt stop as his glance reached a man with gray hair and casual attire. He couldn't help but stare at him for a moment as the guy looked vaguely familiar. Just at that moment, the man looked up and caught him staring but Tony still didn't avert his glance and he couldn't even tell why, even though he knew that this was so wrong on so many levels. He just didn't ogle guys like that. Christ, he didn't even ogle woman like that. Ever.

"That more your type?" Jasper chuckled as he had apparently followed his stare, effectively interrupting Tony's musings and that odd eye contact.

"Wh-What?"

"Come on, T. He's just pulling your leg."

Tony let out a laugh that felt oddly out of tune even in his own ears and of course, Paul had to notice that fact, too. He whispered something into Jasper's ear and just as Tony was about to complain that it was rather impolite after all, Jasper stood up from the booth, asking if Tony wanted another beer and then disappeared towards the bar.

"Are you alright, DiNozzo?" Paul asked then, the hint of tease completely vanished from his voice.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"You're just so distracted tonight. And you actually jumped when Jasper asked you about that guy. What's up?"

"Nothing," Tony sighed, running his hands over his face before he looked back at Paul. "Rough couple of weeks. Just trying to get out of my headspace, that's all."

"If I tried to get out of my headspace like that all the time, Jasper would have killed me a couple of times already, believe me."

"Huh?" Tony just replied, feeling his pulse suddenly pick up speed.

"Come on, don't play dumb on me now. I've known you forever, you usually only get all glassy eyed when a girl walks by making puppy eyes at you but this stare right now…"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tony mumbled, picking at the label of his beer.

"Of course, you don't."

"And what's that supposed to mean now?" Tony replied indignantly, almost desperately trying to sound like he couldn't care less but once again failing miserably.

"Nothing. You just… remember back at college after that guy shredded your knee and you weren't able to play ball anymore? What you were like the first couple of months, desperately trying to get back on track, trying to prove the docs wrong?"

"Yeah, so?"

"You were so in denial about not being in able to play anymore that you even believed it yourself for a while. You've always been good at stuff like that, everyone knows that. But I thought you'd gotten over that. Being in denial, I mean."

"And what exactly am I denying right now, you think?" Tony glared at him, hoping that his stare would at least match Gibbs' to some extent but Paul just continued to grin at him.

"You know what I'm talking about. And don't worry, I'm not going to tell anyone."

"Just because," Tony all but snarled at the man in front of him and he couldn't believe that he was _still _smirking. "I've been looking at a guy for a few seconds doesn't mean I'm gay, Paul."

"Never said you were, T. Doesn't mean you're not, either. Nothing wrong with it, you know."

Tony had just opened his mouth to retort something when Jasper joined them again empty-handed. He said something about not feeling too well and Paul agreed to going home but Tony just shook his head, telling them about drinking a couple of beers before calling it a night. Paul just smirked at him _again_ and nodded but didn't say any more.

As soon they were out of his sight, Tony let his head drop to the table, trying to wrap his head around what on earth had just happened. He had thought that he had had his inner turmoil under control, had it hidden from anyone else, hell even from himself. He'd have to take acting classes or something if his natural undercover mission ability thingy was apparently failing him so miserably. How could he let that happen?

"Hey."

Tony looked up so quickly that his neck gave a nasty cracking sound. The man he had been ogling – no, looked briefly at – before was sitting in front of him now, giving him a crooked smile that reached his eyes. Eyes that were pretty similar to… no, they weren't. Were not at all.

"Hey," Tony finally managed to choke out, realizing that it was rather rude just to stare at the guy.

"You alright? Look kind of angry there."

"What? No, I'm fine. I was… you know, actually just leaving," Tony replied hastily, already halfway standing up as the guy grabbed his arm for a moment.

"No time for only one more beer? My treat. I'm Lucas by the way."

"Tony," he replied, sitting down again unable to look away from those curious blue eyes.

"Nice to meet you." Another one of those crooked smiles. "You're not a regular, are you? Haven't seen you around before."

"No," Tony replied, shaking his head. "Just here because of my friends. Usually don't go to places like this."

"Okay," Lucas just replied, gesturing towards a waitress who was quick to take and deliver their orders.

They clinked their beer bottles and kept light conversation for the next couple of minutes and Tony felt himself relax again. This was actually nice. He knew he should probably tell the guy that he wasn't gay, that he was essentially wasting his time and money on him but he couldn't quite pluck up the courage to do so. Just as they had settled for their third beer and Tony was back to his usual joyful self, he felt something brush against his right calf and he realized that the other man just actually tried to play footsie with him. He looked up at Lucas and was about to turn him down, was about to tell him that he wasn't like that, was about to tell him to knock it off and call it a night but then that stupid, stupid crooked half-smile was on the other man's face again and Tony knew instantly that he was screwed. So screwed.

He felt his heart lodge somewhere in his throat and forced himself no to read too much into his own thoughts. He would just get up, tell the guy a feeble excuse about having to go home and then run – just run away from all that shit. He had to be too drunk by now to think straight – and the emphasis clearly on straight there.

"I… I gotta go," he finally pressed out and this time he succeeded in standing up before Lucas got hold of his arm.

"Mind if I walk you out?"

And Tony knew – _knew_ – that he had to decline, knew that he just needed to get away from the guy and yet, and he had really no idea why, he felt himself nod as he turned around and led the way out of the bar.

Once outside with the cool air clearing his mind somewhat, he leaned against the nearest wall as if searching for something to support him. Lucas came to a stop only inches away from him, those blue eyes boring into his, that half smile back on his face. Tony opened his mouth as if to say something but couldn't remember what it was exactly. He felt adrenaline pumping with the knowledge that they were standing far too close to each other, that this was really the wrong thing to do.

But a tiny little voice somewhere in the back of his mind kept on screaming at his by now from alcohol slowed down brain cells to just check it out. Lucas there was apparently more than willing to do it and what had he to lose anyway? His dignity? That had long disappeared to a place where he would probably never find it again. As he was still pondering his options, as he was still fighting against himself, he saw that the other man had gotten even closer now and he was able to feel his breath on his cheek now. Tony looked up and their eyes met again, causing his heart to start racing, his hands to start sweating ever so slightly.

And then it hit Tony like a lighting. It didn't matter if he kissed the guy now or not. It simply didn't matter because if he wouldn't, he'd probably wonder for the rest of his life if he had missed out. But if he would, he'd know it once and for all. Would know that he wasn't attracted to guys at all, that he wasn't gay or bi or whatever. It wasn't that damn gay porn the week before that would prove that stupid little voice in the back of his mind wrong, it was kissing a guy that would do the trick.

As soon as he had realized that fact, he almost unconsciously leaned forward a bit and then their lips met and it was short, a chaste brush of dry and yet surprisingly soft lips. He backed away after a few moments, trying to collect his tumbling thoughts. Because, really, that hadn't been all _that _bad after all. But he wasn't able to do more than blink twice before Lucas leaned into him once more and this time, Tony let his lips slide apart as one of his hands strangely enough found its way to the back of the other man's head, drawing him even closer. His heart was working overtime by now and his stomach felt all funny inside as he felt Lucas' tongue enter his mouth, all warm, all velvety, all _good_.

Tony didn't know how long exactly they had been standing there, leaning against the wall, kissing each other senseless. With senseless being the key word there because, seriously, this was so not what Tony wanted. This was so not it. But still, there he was, effectively playing tonsil tennis with a man – a freaking man. He had to be out of his mind, had to be too drunk to realize what exactly he was doing there. And yet, as he felt his cell vibrate in the pocket of his jeans, that had wondrously and very strangely gotten a whole lot tighter in the course of the last couple of minutes, he felt confusingly enough disappointed as he had to break their kiss.

Not bothering to look at the caller ID, he picked up his phone.

"DiNozzo," he said, realizing that he was slightly out of breath and slurring, too.

"Are you drunk, DiNozzo?"

Tony let out a groan as he realized that it was Gibbs on the other end of the line just in time as Lucas had started to bite down on the sensitive flesh where his neck met his shoulder.

"Uh, yeah, Boss, sorry," Tony replied, once again groaning at something that Lucas did to his neck.

"We got a case. You good to drive or do I have to pick you up?"

"Uh," Tony just let out, trying to push away the other man ever so slightly in order to be able to form a coherent thought.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs growled at him impatiently.

"Right, not gonna happen again, Boss. I'll just, uh, take a cab. Should be there in about half an hour."

The line went dead after that and Tony ran his hand over his face. He silently chuckled to himself at the thought of Gibbs coming here to pick him up. He quickly said goodbye to Lucas who looked genuinely sorry about Tony's abrupt departure but in earnest, Tony couldn't get away faster from him. It wasn't the fact that he hadn't like what they had been doing. It was the fact that he _had liked_ it – a lot. And it was even more the utterly disturbing thought that Gibbs' voice, just his freaking voice over the phone, had him imagining that it had been his boss sucking at his neck and not that other guy.

Tony groaned again, trying to direct his thoughts away from everything even remotely connected to all of that as he climbed into a cab. He needed to get himself into work mode, needed to sober up quickly. He just needed to keep his mind busy doing other stuff. He could still tear himself apart after the case or even better, he could still get shit-faced drunk afterwards, pretending all of that had never happened. In fact, he quietly swore to himself that it would never happen again – never.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Complaints? Reviews? xD_


	4. Spilling It

_A/N: I'm kinda in a hurry, so I wasn't able to reply to your reviews individually but know that I love every single one of them! Reviews always make my day! :) Hope you like the next chapter..._

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Four: Spilling It<span>**

As Tony entered the bullpen half an hour later, he wasn't feeling better at all. His mind kept on repeating the kiss in front of his inner eye again and again and he just couldn't get rid of the vision and the stupid tingly feeling in his stomach. But that was probably due to the too many beers he'd been drinking after all. He was mildly surprised that only Gibbs was there waiting for him. He barely spared him a glance as he flopped down at his desk, booting up his computer.

"What are you doing?"

"Getting ready to work, Boss?" Tony replied, trying to figure out why Gibbs was sounding so gruff.

"Barely," Gibbs said now as he approached him, scrutinizing him from head to toe. "Get changed first, you look like a bus has driven over you."

"I don't have any spare clothes here. My stuff's in my car and I…"

"Then take some of McGee's. Didn't drink away all your brain cells, did you?"

Tony got up slowly and walked over to Tim's desk. He knew that he was in bad shape but it was no reason for Gibbs to be that grumpy. Granted, he'd been drinking far too much but they hadn't even been on call. What were the odds of three dead Marines in one night anyway? He opened the top drawer now and let out a sigh as there was only a pink dress shirt lying there. Picking it up, he looked at it with disgust, trying to figure out who in the world would ever dress like that.

"Something wrong with that, DiNozzo?" he heard Gibbs' voice again but this time it seemed mildly amused.

"I can't wear that," Tony stated now, putting the shirt back where it belonged. "Even I'm not that gay."

He briefly looked at Gibbs who was smirking at him ever so slightly before he realized what he had just said. What the hell was wrong with him tonight? He slowly walked back towards his own desk, trying to decide whether his boss had noticed his slip of tongue or not. As he sat down on his chair, desperately trying to get his fast beating heart under control, he glanced at Gibbs again who was rummaging through the drawers of his own desk now before he picked up one of his polo-shirts and threw it at Tony. He tried to catch it but he had to be _really _drunk because his hand grasped at nothing and fractions of a second later, the shirt hit him square in the face.

"Off your game tonight?"

"You could say that," Tony replied, glad that Gibbs didn't know just how right he was with his statement.

It was ridiculous. He had to get a grip on himself soon or otherwise he'd be looking for a job in the very near future. Gibbs didn't tolerate behavior like that – period. Sighing, Tony unbuttoned his dress shirt before he slipped into Gibbs' shirt which was a bit too tight for his taste but he would have to deal with it.

"This reminds me of the day I first started to work here," Ziva's voice traveled to his ears and sure enough, he saw her sitting down at her own desk, looking utterly relaxed.

"What do you mean?" Tony replied, momentarily confused.

"You do not remember? You looked just like that, changing your shirt, looking drunk," Ziva replied and approached him until they were standing face to face before she tilted her head ever so slightly to eye his neck a little closer. "And aha! There are even the same hickeys there. Though, the lucky lady from tonight has a weird taste in perfume. Or do you have two different kinds of aftershave, Tony?"

He groaned and stepped away from her, desperately trying not to blush furiously under her gaze. He briefly glanced at Gibbs who was looking at him with an apparent genuine interest now, the splinter of mischief from before completely vanished from his face. But Tony had to imagine things. Why would Gibbs be interested in his late night activities or the sort of perfume his date had been wearing?

Wait, wait, wait!

He hadn't had a date. He hadn't gone out with anyone. He had just had a… brief encounter with someone and he had been dumb enough to show Ziva those goddamn hickeys – not that he had known beforehand that he even had some.

"Your ninja skills must be off, too," Tony finally replied, sitting down again, adjusting the shirt. "I'm not wearing aftershave at all."

Ziva looked at him skeptically but let it go for the moment as she settled at her desk again. Tony took a deep breath and was able to smell the fresh scent of Gibbs' washing powder and the faint scent of coffee and sawdust. Seriously, how did the guy do it? How did even his fresh clothing smell like… _him_? He inwardly groaned again as he realized that even that freaking shirt was smelling so much better than that other guy had.

It was going to be a very, very long day...

As McGee finally arrived at the bullpen, looking like he had come straight from bed (which, granted, he probably was), Gibbs finally got up.

"Ziva, McGee, grab your gear. You're with me."

"Boss?" Tony piped up. "What about me?"

"You're staying here. Go down to Abby's lab, she should be there by now. See, if you can help her with anything. You're in no state to go to a crime scene right now."

"But Boss," Tony started but Gibbs had already turned around and had given him a stare that would have silenced Ghengis Khan, so Tony obediently made his way down to Abby's lab.

As soon as he entered the Goth's territory, he flinched due to the really loud music that was playing there. Was it possible that he already had a hangover, hence a headache? He pressed the stop button on her stereo, causing her to turn around, a furious expression on her face that softened up a bit as he came into her field of vision.

"Hey Abs," Tony offered lamely, already sitting down on one of her chairs, his head in his hands.

"Uh, where are you coming from tonight? You look like a drunken mess."

"Well, thank you, Abs. Exactly what I needed to hear."

"Sorry. Where are you coming from, though? Bossman's house?"

Tony gave a start before he looked up, receiving a rather sadistic looking smirk from Abby in return.

"What? Why?"

"You're wearing his shirt, Tony," Abby said, apparently having to bite back her laughter.

"Oh. Yeah. Just because I didn't have any spare ones here."

"Shame really," Abby replied sitting down next to him, that smirk still not vanished. "Would have been so hot if those hickeys actually came from Gibbs, you know."

"Hmm," Tony just said, suddenly finding interest in his shoes, desperately trying to hide his surely flushed cheeks.

"Wow, you really are drunk, aren't you? Tony! This is the cue where you'd say 'Abby, you're disgusting. It's Gibbs, you're talking about here and neither one of us is even remotely interested in men.'"

Tony remained silent once again, wishing that he could be in bed, sleeping of that hazy mess and not to have to be worried about what kind of response Abby was expecting. He knew that he should say something, should probably laugh it off as a joke, should just say 'no' to all of the craziness that was Abby. But somehow, and he really didn't know why exactly, he couldn't do it. He just couldn't do it. This thing inside of him was slowly but steady eating him up and the denial had slowly given way to insanity and then to something that he wasn't creative enough at the moment to call it any differently than the incident-at-the-bar-when-he-wished-it-had-been-Gibbs-that-had-kissed-him. How had he gotten here… just how?

"Tony?" Abby inquired now, though he was able to hear the changed tone of her voice.

He finally looked up again, only to stare into her worried face. Then, he just shrugged, unable to do anything else, really.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just… I don't know, Abs. It's complicated."

"Isn't it always? Come on, you can tell me."

"No, I… really can't. Too much on the line here."

Abby remained silent for a few moments, tilting her head and staring at him with puppy eyes. The kind of look that always got her everything from everyone. But Tony wouldn't budge this time.

He surely couldn't tell her, could he? Again, he took a deep breath and regretted it immediately as he was able to smell Gibbs' faint scent on his shirt. This wasn't helping, wasn't helping at all.

"Okay, then. But you know you can talk to me, right?" Abby interrupted his train of thought as she leaned forward and pulled him into one of her tight bear hugs.

"Can I say something though?" She continued as she finally backed away again. "Change your aftershave again, will you? This one's hideous."

Tony didn't quite know what did the trick right there and then. Whether it was the second mention of his goddamn aftershave within an hour, whether it was his by now ridiculously high self-doubt and self-loathing or whether it was Abby's puppy eyes that had had an effect on him after all that made him spill his guts now. But as he inhaled that goddamn scent of coffee and sawdust again, he just couldn't not tell her. He just needed to get it off his chest and who else could he confide in really? Usually, Gibbs was his starting point to go to whenever something plagued him but he couldn't possibly do it this time which basically only left Abby.

So, as he finally answered, his voice was so calm and so quiet that he wasn't even sure whether or not he had even said it out loud.

"It's not mine, Abs."

"What do you mean, not yours?"

Tony sighed and rubbed a hand over his face before he continued, his heart beating a mile a minute by now. "It means that it's not mine. It belongs to the guy that…"

"The guy that…?" Abby slowly said now, quizzically looking at him before Tony could almost see the penny drop. "No," she then said with an expression on her face that would have made him laugh any other time but not at the moment. It was a weird mix of a smirk and complete amazement.

"Yes."

"The guy that gave you those hickeys?"

"Yes."

"No."

"Abby."

"You're serious? Wow, that's… huge, Tony. I didn't know you're playing for both teams."

Despite the fact that his cheeks were feeling like they were on fire, Tony was still looking straight into her eyes.

"I don't. It's just… I don't know."

"Only that one guy? What's his name? Can I meet him? When?"

"Abby, slow down," Tony sighed, unsure of how to even continue.

It had been a _really_ bad idea to tell her. He should have known that she would be overly excited about all of this, while all he wanted was to forget about it, dig himself a hole so deep that he would never be able to resurface again.

"I don't want to slow down. You have to tell me. You can't just drop a bombshell like that and then don't say anything else about it."

"It's not like that. It's just not what you think it means. Look, this isn't the about the guy from tonight."

"I'm confused?" Abby stated now, though it sounded more like a question. "Didn't you just tell me it was only that one guy?"

"There is only one guy," Tony reluctantly answered, sighing and rubbing his hand over his face again. "The one tonight was just… I don't know… I guess, I wanted to prove to myself that I'm not… interested. Hell, I just don't know."

"Didn't work, huh?" her voice was soft now, almost soothing and Tony felt himself relax the tiniest of fractions. At least, she didn't judge him for his actions.

"No," he shook his head. "Didn't work at all."

"You know there's nothing wrong with being gay, right? You don't have to be ashamed of anything."

"I know, Abs. I really do. Still, I can't tell you how much this sucks. I never meant to let this happen. But I'm in so deep by now that I see no way out of it anymore. It's ridiculous how much time I've spent denying it, fighting it, even though I knew that I can't help it anyways."

"Then why don't you just tell him? I'm sure it can't be that bad. I mean, you're good-looking and all, who wouldn't give you a chance? I mean everyone's into you, you're Tony DiNozzo and it's not like you'd fall in love with someone like Gibbs."

Tony stared at her for a moment with wide eyes and he was pretty sure that he looked exactly like the often-cited deer in the headlights because Abby's eyes had become wider, too, her mouth slightly hanging open now before he looked away from her, finding interest in his shoes again.

"Oh. My. God," Abby exclaimed after a few moments of pin-drop-silence. "Oh my god, it's Gibbs!"

Tony was about to nod. No, was about to deny it. Was about to… whatever. Well, at least he was about to do _something_ as the door to Abby's lab suddenly opened and no other than Gibbs himself walked through it.

"What about me?" he asked now, looking at Abby and then at Tony, his glance lingering on Tony's exposed neck for a moment.

"I was just saying that Tony looks good in your shirt, doesn't he?"

Tony threw her a glance that was supposed to shut her up but she just smirked right back at him, the mischief clearly visible in her eyes.

"Hmm," Gibbs just answered non-committally before he all but barked at him. "Bullpen now, DiNozzo, we got some pictures to process. Come on."

"On your six, Boss," Tony replied as he got up, only to be able to hear Abby mutter something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like "You wish."

He let it slide for the moment as he hastened to keep up with Gibbs in order not to make him angrier than he already was with him. Yep, it was going to be a very long day, indeed.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be pure awesomeness! :)_


	5. Gotcha Boss, Don't I?

_A/N: Thanks again for your awesome reviews! :) They really make me want to write more and faster xD Hope you like the next chapter :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Five: Gotcha Boss, Don't I?<span>**

If Tony had been thinking that the day would be a long one, it was the understatement of the year. As they had finally put the killer behind bars it was three o'clock in the morning, resulting that Tony hadn't slept for three days straight, which didn't really help with the whole wrapping-his-head-around-everything part of his plan. Not that Abby had made it any easier, smirking at him every time he had seen her and by now Tony had the distinctive feeling that she was planning something and knowing Abby, it would be something purely evil wrapped into her usual cheerfulness.

So, as Gibbs finally ordered, no, barked at them to go home, Tony was halfway out of seat already when he remembered that his car was still parked at the club. Sighing, he sat down again, looking for his cell phone to dial the number of a cab company.

"Did you not hear me, DiNozzo? Go home," Gibbs growled again and Tony's mood got even worse now, realizing that Gibbs seemed to be pissed and he was almost – almost – sure that he case had nothing to do with it particularly.

"I'm about to. Need to call a cab. Don't have my car here."

"Right," Gibbs nodded, stood up and gathered his stuff. "Come on, I'll drive you. Where's your car at?"

Tony looked up at him, feeling himself blush furiously. He quickly thought of an excuse to avoid riding with Gibbs but couldn't come up with anything that would actually make sense.

"It's at my apartment," he finally lied. "Took the cab to the club the other day."

Gibbs looked blankly at him for a moment before he gave a short nod and turned around, leading the way to the elevators. Tony figured he had no chance not to go with him anyway and followed suit. He could still get his car the next morning, anyway. Didn't make much difference. Except, well… he wasn't particularly keen on having to sit so close to his boss. It was stupid, he knew that, but he was still not sure what exactly he had been thinking or was still thinking actually, falling in love with the guy.

Wait. Hold your horses, DiNozzo.

He wasn't in love with Gibbs. No freaking way. He was just… he just… he just had the hots for him. Yeah, that was it. It was just some strange physical need or something. He'd get over it eventually. But then again, he had had that strange thing for his boss for quite some time now and it didn't _seem _to want to go away. Not willingly, at least. But what was he supposed to do? Lean over to him and kiss him? Yeah, that would go really well. But he just couldn't let it go, either, could he? Not with Abby on his back, who would surely try to point out the obvious to him and probably to Gibbs, too.

Damn, he really _was_ screwed.

By now, they were sitting in Gibbs' car in silence as Tony didn't dare to say anything, too afraid to slip up (because, really, he knew he would because he was freaking tired and wasn't exactly able to think straight) and Gibbs being not one for small talk anyway. Tony felt himself get more and more restless as the minutes passed by. It wasn't even the uncomfortable silence that made him tenser and it wasn't the unusual slow driving (must be because Gibbs was tired, too, Tony mused). No, it was rather the sideway glances that his boss was giving him from time to time, his expression wary, almost expectant and Tony didn't know what to do with it. He had thought that after those ten long (and admittedly awesome) years, he was able to place any look on Gibbs' face without a second's thought but he had never seen that look on him before.

Or wait – hadn't he?

Tony racked his brains for a few moments before the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. He had seen him like that. It was that night at the restaurant, when Gibbs had pretended not to know him, triggering all that stupid stuff in Tony.

For a moment, Tony held his boss' gaze in hopes of being able to read the expression after all but again, he failed miserably. Tony sighed again and averted his glance in favor of looking out the side window, trying to be stealth about staring at Gibbs in the reflection. Something was really off tonight but he didn't care to dig deeper. Not right now, when his thoughts were all over the place, not right now, when Gibbs was in that weird mood already as it was.

After a few more minutes Gibbs – finally, finally finally! – pulled over at Tony's apartment, looking around in the parking lot as if he was searching for something and as Tony was about to climb out of the car, Gibbs gave him that weird stare _again_.

"I thought you said your car's here?"

Tony stared right back at him for a moment, almost sure that he heard the wheels in his head turning, before he answered, giving himself a head slap just for the benefit of the doubt.

"Totally forgot, Boss. There was something wrong with the brakes, had to bring it to the shop the other day."

Gibbs just raised an eyebrow, continuing to stare at him, his eyes for one moment flickering towards the by now fading hickeys on Tony's neck.

"Why don't you try that again?" he then replied gruffly, though his voice was somehow missing its usual edge.

"What do you mean? I told you it's at the shop."

"No, it's not. You're too much in love with your goddamn car to _forget_ that something was wrong with it. We'd have had to listen to you whining about it all day."

Tony stared at him, mouth gaping open, realizing that it had been a stupid excuse after all. _Of course_, Gibbs would realize that he had been lying. He pondered his options for a moment, his sleep-deprived brain cells not really working in favor for him.

"Try again?" Gibbs repeated his earlier question, his eyes never leaving Tony's.

"What's with the sudden obsession with my car? It's my business where I park it," Tony replied indignantly, because, really. Why was Gibbs caring about it anyway?

"Yeah, it is," Gibbs replied, furrowing a brow as if he had just realized that fact, too.

He remained silent for a moment, rubbing his hand over his face as if to buy himself more time before he went back to staring at Tony.

"It's just," he sighed, causing Tony this time to raise an eyebrow. "You're just acting strange lately and I don't like it. Is something up?"

Tony took his time to answer that one, slightly taken aback by the change of tone in Gibbs' voice. All the gruffness had vanished replaced by something that Tony would call genuine interest but that couldn't be it, this was Gibbs he was talking about after all.

"No, nothing's up," he finally replied, averting his glance, unable to lie to him while looking into his eyes. "Have just been a long couple of days."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, positive. Just a bit distracted maybe."

Gibbs remained silent and just as Tony thought he'd let it go and was already about to open the door of the car, Gibbs cleared his throat again causing Tony to sigh, realizing that this conversation wasn't over just yet.

"So, where _is _your car? New girlfriend's place?"

"What? No," Tony answered distractedly, once again thinking fast. "It's at the club I've been to. I just didn't want you to drive me there because it's too far away."

"It didn't take you longer than thirty minutes to get to NCIS last night and it takes me more than that to take you here."

"Is it really that important?" Tony answered now, his voice barely above a whisper.

Why – _why indeed _– couldn't he just let it go?

"No, but you make it sound important."

"Of course, now it's my fault," Tony muttered, earning himself a softer than usual slap upside his head and he winced.

Tony felt Gibbs' stare on him again and he wondered what in the world he was supposed to do now. And then, suddenly, as if it came out of nowhere that stupid, insipid voice in the back of his mind made itself perceivable again, urging him to simply tell him the truth. It's not like Gibbs would recognize the name of the club anyway. So what would be the harm, right? Right?

"It's… at the parking lot of a club called _Green Lantern_," he finally answered, finding a sudden interest in his hands.

Again, there were a few moments – minutes even? – of pin-drop-silence and Tony felt himself getting restless again. He dared himself to look at the older man again and was slightly surprised that Gibbs was still staring at him, his expression curious. And wait! Where his ears actually turning red now? No, that couldn't be… must be the light of the streetlamps for sure because Gibbs never blushed. Tony was even sure that Gibbs wasn't physically able to blush.

"The gay club?"

_Bang. _

There it was. Tony had no idea why and how Gibbs knew. Maybe he actually was omniscient. He had always suspected that after all. Tony tried to take a deep breath and was reminding himself to blink because he was sure, that he had a serious deer-in-the-headlights problem again. Still, he had no idea what to say, what to do, so he just sat there, staring at Gibbs, hoping that he would continue torturing him, would continue to talk or whatever. Just something.

"And you thought you couldn't tell me because…?"

Tony gulped loudly not quite able to follow Gibbs' train of thought.

"Isn't it obvious?" he finally pressed out, sure that his face must have flushed to crimson by now.

"Apparently, not."

"Look Gibbs," Tony replied sourly, feeling more uncomfortable by the second. "It's not what it sounds like. I've just met up with a frat brother of mine from Ohio and his boyfriend, we had a couple of beers and that's that. Really, I swear."

"Okay," Gibbs replied so calmly that Tony forced his eyes to look at him again.

For the first time, though, Gibbs didn't stare right back at him as his damn eyes were lingering on Tony's neck _again_ and Tony briefly wondered, how in the world he was supposed to explain those freaking hickeys.

"Okay, maybe that's not all," he hesitantly continued as Gibbs' incessant stare really got to him after a while. "But I don't see how that is any of your business."

"Like hell it isn't," Gibbs growled again and Tony noticed that his hands were gripping the steering wheel rather tightly now as his knuckles were about to get white.

But, really, how was it any of his business? Clearly, he didn't know about Tony's… thing for him, right? He couldn't know? Or had Abby said anything to him? No, she wouldn't do that, would she? Oh God… Or was Gibbs just fishing after all? Or was he having a problem with the fact that Tony might not only like women? What was his deal anyway?

"So, why would it be?" Tony finally replied, realizing that he sounded rather angry by now.

Again, there was silence with Gibbs staring out the windshield, not moving at all and for a moment Tony wasn't even sure whether or not he was actually breathing. He remained quiet for once, too, trying to figure out what was going on in that strange mind of Gibbs.

At least, that kind of reaction from his boss told him enough to know that he wouldn't tell Gibbs about this thing - ever - and he wasn't quite sure whether that was a good or a really, really bad thing. His heart had clenched at the thought, though. But that could have just meant that he needed to get out of the car as he was suddenly feeling a bit like McGee, being a bit claustrophobic and all. But just as he was about to step out again, Gibbs turned towards him, his expression slightly off and Tony was still not able to place it exactly.

"Because I care," he finally answered Tony's earlier question, his voice sounding strangely strangled but Tony felt sure that he must have imagined it after all because that voice was so… so un-Gibbs that it couldn't possibly be true.

"And why do you care, Gibbs?" Tony retorted only above a whisper, not exactly sure whether or not he actually wanted an answer to that.

"Because," Gibbs started almost hesitantly, averting his glance once more. "Because I'm your boss and I can't have you distracted like that at work."

Tony let out a breath he hadn't know he had been holding, shaking his head subtly. He was an investigator after all and he could smell a lie from far away just like Gibbs apparently could. But he was too exhausted by the conversation, too tired to actually call Gibbs up on that at the moment. Whatever Gibbs was not telling him, he _really _didn't want to know it right now. He really didn't want to hear it – now or ever. He'd deal with the mess in due time, would go back to normal and would try to persuade himself that that damn conversation had never even occurred in the first place.

"That all?" he finally replied, this time actually opening that damn door (And why exactly hadn't he done that a couple of minutes ago, when he had still had the chance to keep the spare pieces of his shredded dignity?).

Gibbs just nodded, not quite looking at him and Tony, for once able to take a hint, stepped out the car, mumbled something about being grateful that he had taken him home before he shut the door and slowly walked towards his apartment building, not caring that Gibbs didn't drive away immediately but seemed to wait until he had closed the front door behind him.

Groaning, Tony leaned back against his apartment door a few moments later, rubbing a tired hand over his face. What the hell had that been all about? He just didn't get what exactly Gibbs' problem was but he was sure that he had lied back there and Tony needed to know why. He sighed again, hoping that in the morning - after a good-night's sleep - everything would be somewhat clearer and if not, he had to talk to Abby. She was, after all, one of those few people on the planet who were most of the time able to tell what Gibbs was up to… That was, if he was even up to something.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Complaints? Suggestions? Reviews would be super! :)_


	6. The Doctor Is In

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Six: The Doctor Is In<span>**

Standing in the shower early the next morning, Tony tried to force himself to relax. But his mind wouldn't do him the favor, of course, and kept on repeating that weird ass conversation in Gibbs' car from the night before. Tony couldn't quite put the finger on it but something about the whole talk seemed to be off in a strange way but he just couldn't tell what exactly it was. He knew enough though to realize that it would be uncomfortable between the two of them for a while. The way they had talked the night before wasn't like anything they had ever done before. They had talked and yet hadn't talked at the same time. Tony still didn't know what Gibbs had wanted from him exactly and in return, he'd still have to clear up the fact that he was, in fact, not gay. But how in the world was he supposed to bring up the matter in the middle of the bullpen or even worse in the elevator, aka Gibbs' office, where there was no room to flee to?

He stepped out of the shower and dried himself off, still so deeply in thought that he at first missed the knock on his door. Only as the knocking became more demanding, did he put on a pair of boxer shorts and his slacks and padded barefooted to his front door. He opened it and was momentarily confused to see none other than Gibbs standing there, casually leaning against the door frame like it was the most natural thing in the world to be there at 7 o'clock in the morning. Tony stared at him for a moment and thought that he saw the guy's eyes flicker over his naked chest but that had surely just happened in his imagination because, seriously, Gibbs would never look at him like that – ever. Figment of wishful thinking - that was it.

"Uh, what are you doing here, Boss?" he finally pressed out as he stepped aside to let him in.

"Came to pick you up. Save you the money for the cab."

"Very considerate."

Gibbs just nodded and looked at him for a moment, his head tilted ever so slightly as if to get a closer look at Tony's face like that. The younger man subtly shook his head at his own thoughts, trying to get himself out of his headspace and got moving again.

"Gonna get dressed, then," he said, walked into his bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaned against it and panted heavily.

He wasn't ready for that. For whatever Gibbs was planning to do here. He had counted on that damn hour alone before work to clear his head. It was always in his car, driving around, when he was able to think things over and the bastard of a boss had just literally taken that chance away from him. Sighing, he went to get fully dressed as he couldn't avoid the man in his living room anyway, so he might just as well get it over with, right?

As he stepped into the other room again, Gibbs was still standing at the exact same spot where he had left him, his hands buried in the pockets of his coat, his eyes wary and locked on his face again.

"Okay, let's go," Tony finally said, quite unable to stand the silence any longer and Gibbs nodded again, leading the way out of Tony's apartment.

The next few minutes were spent in quietness again and if Tony had thought the silence the night before had been awkward he saw himself disabused.

"At the next traffic light you have to take a left," he finally said, glad that he was actually sounding pretty normal and not as choked up as he was actually feeling and he didn't even know why exactly he felt that way, all insecure, all flabbergasted.

"I know where the bar is," Gibbs replied, speaking so quietly that Tony had to actually lean closer to him to be able to understand him.

He turned to look at him for a moment and noticed that Gibbs' hands were gripping the steering wheel tightly once again, very similar to the night before and Tony wondered what exactly it was that bothered his boss like that. He averted his eyes and stared at his face instead, determined not to miss any change in his expression. Something was still so wrong, so wrong with Gibbs, with himself, just with everything.

"Okay?" he finally replied and only as he had said it, he realized why exactly he had made it sound like a question because, really, why would Gibbs know where that exact gay club was located?

He tried to push the thought out of his mind as quickly as it had formed itself. This was exactly that kind of thought that he had sworn to himself not to think. There was no chance of a different side to Gibbs – and especially not in that kind of direction. Tony would just have to suck it up for once.

And yes, late last night, lying in his bed, desperately trying to fall asleep, he had finally stopped denying it, had finally stopped fooling himself. And yes, he had come to realize that he had, indeed, the hots for Gibbs, maybe even more but he wouldn't care to indulge into those feelings any further because there was no chance that Gibbs would return that kind of stuff – ever.

"Listen," Gibbs' calm voice suddenly cut through his train of thought and Tony blinked once, trying to focus again. "About last night. You were right. It's none of my business."

"That an apology?" Tony replied sounding more confident than he really was as he still didn't know what exactly the older man wanted from him.

"I don't do apologies, DiNozzo."

"I'll accept it anyway," Tony retorted, grinning despite himself. "So, we're good?"

"Yeah, Tony, we're good."

Tony released a breath and tried to ignore that strange tingly feeling in his stomach at the use of his first name. Maybe he shouldn't have stopped denying that stuff after all because ignoring it suddenly seemed to be far more difficult than he'd preferred.

"And listen, Gibbs," he finally plucked up the courage to actually say it and not chicken out. "It's not like I didn't want to tell you about… about that stuff last night. It's just… there isn't much to tell, you know. I'm not gay or bi or even curious. Or actually, I guess curious it is. I just wanted to make sure that I… Ah, hell, I don't know what has gotten into me all of a sudden but I'll try to snap out of it. I promise."

There was silence after his statement and Tony stared at his hands and he realized with a start that he had started to sweat. He didn't dare to look at Gibbs even if only for a brief moment but he couldn't help but notice that he was once again driving within the speed limits and it felt oddly off again.

"Did you, then?"

"Did I do what?"

"Make sure you weren't?"

"Oh," Tony felt himself shrug, still staring at his hands. "Yeah, I guess. I'm not into guys at all."

_Only into you. _He added in his thoughts.

"Okay," Gibbs calmly answered, his voice smooth, though Tony could have sworn that out of the corners of his eyes he had seen Gibbs' knuckles whiten for a second as he grabbed the steering wheel tightly again.

But that must have been –again - that stupid figment of his imagination after all…

-x-

A couple of hours later, Tony strolled into Abby's lab, hoping that she would distract him from doing nothing. The day had been so slow and so incredibly boring that Tony had had too much time to think about his goddamn feelings that it was slowly driving him crazy. Luckily for him, Gibbs had mostly been up in MTAC all day, giving him the time to process those talks in his boss' car. But that was when he realized that he needed another opinion on this, needed another perspective.

"Hey Abs, you got a minute?"

"Always for my favorite Senior Field Agent," the Goth replied happily, patting on the empty chair next to her. "The doctor's in. So, spill."

"How very Lucy of you," Tony sighed, sitting down and running a hand through his hair.

"Wasn't he a genius?" Abby asked now, smiling broadly at him.

"Who?" Tony replied, slightly confused.

"Charles M. Schulz? Peanuts?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, sure."

"Okay, what's up, Mr. I'm-too-distracted-to-listen-to-Abby's-senseless-ramblings?

Tony stared at his hands for a moment, unsure of how to start that particular kind of conversation. But he needed to get his suspicions about his wishful thinking confirmed or otherwise he'd go crazy far too soon. And this so wasn't like him either. He was Mr. One-Night-Stand after all, not caring about his own or other's feelings most of the time. So why, was this so different? So freaking different?

"I talked to Gibbs last night and this morning and uh, you know how he gets, wouldn't let me off the hook until I 'fess up and stuff."

"So he was curious about those hickeys, wasn't he?" Abby asked with an excitement that Tony couldn't quite share or even comprehend.

"I don't know. Maybe."

"So did you tell him?"

"Didn't exactly tell him tell him but, you know, he got the message that a guy was the one."

"And? What did he say?" she retorted again and she was still smiling so broadly at him that it freaked Tony out the tiniest little bit.

"Nothing. He was just like 'okay' and that's it."

"He didn't say anything? Hinky."

"How is that hinky? What was he supposed to say?" Tony replied indignantly, still not getting why exactly Abby was so excited about all of this.

"I don't know, Tony. But think about it. He's your friend, right? Shouldn't he say that it didn't matter if you're gay or bi or green or yellow? Shouldn't he tell you that he's like totally fine with it?"

"So you're saying, he's not fine with it?"

"Of course, he is! Gibbs is not homophobic, Tony."

"I know that, Abs. Just catch me up, won't you? I feel like I'm missing something here."

"Oh, you're so missing everything! He's so jealous."

"Huh?" Tony just let out feeling utterly confused by now.

Was there actually a chance that he hadn't imagined those lingering looks on him the last couple of days after all?

"Don't tell me you haven't caught him staring at you?"

"No. I mean, yeah, but he does that with anyone. You're not telling me he's jealous of McGee and Palmer, too?"

"Course not. But I've been around you guys long enough to know a thing or three about investigating, Tony. And he's definitely weighing his options at the moment. He didn't need to talk to you about anything because it had nothing to do with work or anything and yet, he did. There's so something there, I'm telling you."

"You're crazy, you know that? This is Gibbs we're talking about, Abby. There's no way he has even looked at a guy twice before. Your imagination is running wild here."

_And that would make two of us._

"Smartass," Abby said, giving him a glare that almost matched Gibbs'. "Then answer me one thing, will you. You said you weren't into guys, right? So, did you or did you not 'look at a guy twice' before you realized you were having feelings for the old bossman?"

Tony stared at her incredulously for a moment before the realization dawned on him that she might actually have a point.

"You _sure _about that?" he finally choked out, feeling like his stomach was just doing a flip flop or something because he suddenly felt all tingly inside again.

"Dead serious, T," Abby replied, giving him a smile again. "And before you say anything about his being your boss and his rules and all that crap, hear me out, okay?"

Tony nodded slowly, wondering whether his thoughts were written all over his face lately as Abby was suddenly able to read his inner queries so well.

"Good boy," she said, actually patting his head like he was a goddamn dog but he let it slide as he was too occupied with trying to think straight at the moment. "I'm not saying that he's obvious or anything. And I'm not saying that he even knows what he's doing but from what I've heard and seen these last couple of days, there's definitely something there, okay? He simply hasn't wrapped his head around that stuff. Very similar to another person, I know," she gave him a pointed looked before she continued. "The question here is just what you want to do about it. Do the usual DiNozzo special and bury your feelings inside yourself and never act on them or do you want to shake it up for once?"

Part of Tony wanted to be offended by the last statement but the other part - the smarter, more reasonable one - knew that she was probably right. He rarely ever acted on his feelings and if he did, it was mostly too late or not important anymore. He had missed many chances because of that, too…

"And what am I supposed to do, Abs?" he asked strangely enough only above a whisper.

"I don't know yet. But I'll think of something and then we're going to make a game plan and you're on."

"That simple, huh?"

"That simple, Tony."

"I don't know, Abby. What if we're wrong? What if he's not interested?"

"A-Ha!" the Goth cried out triumphantly. "You just said 'we'. I knew, you noticed it, too. And trust me, he is interested. One way or another… don't you want to know?"

Tony tilted his head ever so slightly and took a deep breath in order to buy himself more time, give himself more time to think about it but there was no way around it now and he knew that Abby wouldn't let him off the hook that easily anyway. And she was right, too. He really wanted to find out what exactly Gibbs' deal was. Desperately, actually.

"Okay, I'm game," he finally gave in, receiving a broad smile and a tight hug in return.

"Strategy meeting tonight at my place."

"I'll bring pizza," Tony said, standing up.

"Good boy," Abby repeated her earlier statement. "Oh and Tony?" she added as he was already halfway out the door. "Chin up, okay? It's going to be fine."

"Let's hope so, by gibbsness."

Abby let out a laugh and waved at him. "Gotta remember that one."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Would be awesome, if you left a review :) _


	7. Best Laid Plans

_A/N: Slightly fewer reviews this time but thanks anyway and I hope you like this chapter better :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Seven: Best Laid Plans<span>**

Four admittedly evitable mistakes and it all went to hell.

As Tony walked into the bullpen a couple of days later, still not so sure that the plan Abby and he had made up was exactly waterproof and yet somewhat hopeful that it actually could work, he should have known that all of this couldn't possibly go as they had planned it.

But that morning everything seemed to go as smoothly as possible. Or as smoothly as anything could go lately. His thoughts were still all over the place all the time and he knew that he had to try his best to let this whole thing happen. Not that it would work anyway but he would take his best shot at it. Not that there was any other choice, really. This thing – and Tony still refused to call it any differently because it surely wasn't the crap called feelings – wouldn't just disappear overnight, he had long given up on that because the more he saw of the guy, the more he desperately wanted to… yeah, what exactly did he want anyway? Tony knew that he was the world's worst person when it came to relationships – one broken up engagement and one undercover pseudo thingy was proof enough for that – but still, he couldn't help but realize that he didn't just want the sex. Though, the thought of those big calloused hands on his back wouldn't quite vanish from his mind either.

So as he was sitting at his desk impatiently waiting for Abby to finally set the plan in motion, he still couldn't have known what the day would bring along for him. All that he knew was that today was the day and that this was his only chance and a long shot at that. But he'd take it and would live with the consequences, too, though his insides clenched at the mere thought of having to leave the team because the boss would freak – and he sure as hell would. But there was nothing Tony could do about that for now, so he'd just wait for Abby to show up.

What they hadn't planned, though, was that work would put a spoke in their wheel after all. Though they should have because, really, didn't it always?

They couldn't have predicted that just at that moment Gibbs would grumpily order them to grab their gear. And they couldn't have predicted that the crime scene was far from secure, either. So, logically, the first bullet that missed Tony's left ear by mere inches wasn't on the day's schedule either. But well, what was a man supposed to do? There were more important things in life than his messed up personal affairs at that exact moment…

Out of the corner of his eyes, Tony saw McGee and Ziva duck next to him but Gibbs, of course, didn't follow suit, instead fired right back and then picked up the pursuit of the perp with Tony, who had recovered from the surprise pretty quickly, right on his heals because, seriously, someone had to watch his six after all. And as one of Gibbs' bullets had hit the suspect somewhere in his right leg, Tony was finally able to slow down a bit and let his guard down.

_Mistake number one or erorre numero uno as his grandpa would have said._

Because right at that moment - when he had caught his breath - the suspect suddenly turned around, despite the fact that he was already halfway stumbling towards the ground, and got one last shot into their direction and of course, he hit Tony somewhere on his right shoulder. Tony felt himself slowly sink to the ground, clutching his shoulder hard, trying to figure out where exactly that goddamn bullet had hit him. He heard more footsteps behind him, probably Ziva and McGee's, heard Gibbs yell something but he couldn't quite manage to listen to him for once, so focused was he on pressing his hand the wound, trying to get rid of all that stupid blood. He was vaguely able to hear more voices now but he just kept on not listening to them, still too busy to look after himself. It was only when he felt two strong hands on his shoulders, trying to push away his own, that he opened his eyes again and saw Gibbs kneeling next to him, his windbreaker in his hand to stop the bleeding from his shoulder. Tony wanted to say something but at that exact moment, Gibbs averted his glance and looked at him, really looked at him, blue eyes boring into his green ones and Tony shut his mouth again as Gibbs almost softly whispered.

"I've got you, Tony."

_And then it was there - Mistake number two._

Because, in the right frame of mind, Tony would have never even thought about saying that, hell he wouldn't even have thought of thinking it.

"Yeah, you always got me."

Gibbs looked at him for a moment longer, an eyebrow raised, the corners of his lips twitching oddly before he drew his attention back to Tony's shoulder again, causing him to think that maybe, only maybe, it hadn't been a mistake after all…

As he was sitting on one of those uncomfortable hospital beds a couple of hours later, listening to the doctor rambling about that he got lucky, through and through and the usual procedure in those cases and blah, blah, blah, Tony still wondered if he had actually said that to Gibbs out loud and if he had, whether he'd be able to write it off as momentary insanity caused by a severe loss of blood. He was interrupted in his musings by a nurse (a pretty one at that and Tony felt the by now familiar twinge inside of him when he realized that he had no interest in flirting with her) though, asking him if he'd like to have some painkillers before he went home. And of course, he should have known…

_But… Bam! Mistake number three!_

He hadn't declined them because, truth be told, his shoulder hurt like a bitch and it surely couldn't hurt to have something to help him fall asleep faster. What he hadn't anticipated though was when the doc had finally stopped talking and had left the room, it would be Gibbs who was waiting there for him to pick him up and drive him home. Granted, he probably should have known that he would be there but still, that tiny little voice in the back of his head had hoped (or dreaded?) that it would be Abby who'd pick him up. But no such (bad) luck.

"Fair warning," Tony mumbled as they slowly walked down the hallway towards the elevators. "I might be a bit silly soon-ish."

He heard Gibbs chuckle ever so slightly next to him. "Painkillers? Good to know."

"But look at it this way, you can do whatever you want to do with me and I'd probably laugh it off as me hallucinating."

Later, Tony wouldn't categorize that statement as a mistake because, well, that actually elicited a laugh from Gibbs and Tony hadn't heard one of those in quite some time and these days he'd take anything from the older man, really. And yeah, he had gotten that pathetic already…

The drive home was filled in silence once more but this time Tony was good with that, resting his head against the window, trying to ignore the stinging pain in his shoulder and the drowsiness that was slowly but steady overwhelming him. He fought hard against it, not wanting to fall asleep before they'd arrived at his apartment. He could have sworn that he had only closed his eyes for a millisecond as he suddenly felt someone softly shake his good shoulder and he slowly opened his eyes again, realizing that they weren't driving anymore. He looked around with somewhat blurry eyes and realized that they weren't in front of his apartment building but in the driveway of the last place he wanted to be.

"That's not my apartment," he finally said dumbly.

"You don't say," Gibbs just replied and got out of the car.

Tony remained sitting there for a few more moments before he realized that he had probably no other choice than follow his boss into his house. Into his house that was smelling like coffee and sawdust and Old Spice and just… _Gibbs_. How was he supposed to stay the night there? How was his mind supposed to keep shutting up about sleeping in the same house as his… crush? Tony chuckled to himself at the thought and briefly wondered what the next thing would be. Thinking of Gibbs as his _boy_friend? Another chuckle before he realized with a start that the bossman hadn't gone into the house but was standing right outside his window and slightly smirked at him before he opened the passenger door.

"Come on, go inside."

"On it, Boss."

Tony got out of the car now, realizing that his knees seemed to be a bit wobbly, which was fairly strange because, hadn't he been shot in the shoulder? He furrowed his brow at that before he came to the conclusion that it was the painkillers that were doing that to him. He was just tired, that was all. He stumbled into Gibbs's house now, with the man himself right behind him as if he was afraid that Tony would fall without him being there and maybe, but just maybe, he wasn't completely wrong in assuming so. But then again, never assume, right? He should have taken his own advise at that, too, because as he had just directed himself towards the couch, he felt a hand grip his upper arm and slowly turned around to face Gibbs again who was nodding towards the stairs.

"Right to bed, DiNozzo. Couch won't do for tonight."

"On it, Boss," Tony replied, following him up the stairs before a thought suddenly struck him. "You know, I think that's my catchphrase, you know. Like _Ay Carumba_ or _Cowabunga_!"

"Uh-huh," Gibbs just replied and oddly enough passed the guest room and headed straight towards his bedroom.

"Uh, Boss?"

"Yes, DiNozzo?" Gibbs answered sighing as he turned around to face him.

"Your guestroom's in there," Tony said, pointing to the door to his right.

"I know that. My house, remember? But I'm going to sleep there tonight. Have to put sheets on the bed first and I don't want you hovering over me the whole time I do. So come on, you sleep in my bed tonight."

Tony followed without complaint, his mind too far gone for the moment to process the fact that that bed would smell like him even more than his freaking house but right then, he didn't care anymore, he was just tired… tired… tired.

Gibbs left him alone after that, mumbling something about a glass of water and some pills and Tony laboriously managed to get out of his slacks without having to use his right arm but was failing miserably in getting rid of his shirt, so as Gibbs returned, he was just standing there in his boxers and his shirt, staring at him.

_And that was when mistake number four occurred._

In an attempt of keeping himself from blushing, he tried to joke and _of course_ the first thing that came to his mind when Gibbs was just starting to help him taking off his shirt and unbuttoned it was…

"This was so not the way we had planned this whole thing."

"What thing?"

"Abby and me had this plan, you know. And you know, I mean, maybe I should thank the perp for shooting me because all of this had the same consequences, you know."

Gibbs snorted as he had finally succeeded in undressing Tony. "Yeah? And what are those consequences?"

"Won't tell you," Tony replied, yawning widely as he got into bed and was momentarily overwhelmed by the way the freaking bed smelled exactly like Gibbs. Even better than he could have ever imagined and that was maybe why he stupidly – stupidly, stupidly, stupidly! – continued to babble. "Because if I did tell you that 'me in your bed' was the plan all along, you'll probably kill me. So I won't tell you."

As he was already safely tucked in, his sleep deprived and stupid brain cells suddenly gave him a shout and he realized what he had just said. He dared to look up into his boss' face and noticed that he was sporting a rather odd expression which, once again, Tony wasn't quite able to place. They continued to stare at each other for a few moments and Tony could have sworn (or did he just hope now?) that Gibbs' ears had turned slightly red again (had that actually happened before? Tony couldn't recall it). Finally, he was able to see his boss shake his head subtly before he answered.

"Go to sleep, Tony," and it didn't sound as angry as he had expected him to be, in fact it was spoken rather softly.

"You're not mad at me?"

"Go to sleep. You've had a long day."

"On it, Boss," Tony repeated himself and snuggled into a pillow, inhaling the Great Gibbs' scent once again.

Just as Gibbs was about to close the door behind him, Tony's stupid drug-induced mouth had to say something again (because, seriously, if his brain was still connected to his mouth at that point, he s_urely_ wouldn't have said anything at all).

"Night, Jethro."

The bossman turned around once more and gave him an odd lopsided grin before he replied.

"Good night."

Then, he was gone, leaving a somewhat confused but definitely kind of happy and even more tired Tony behind.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be awesomeness! :)_


	8. Lies, Truths And Everything In Between

_A/N: Wow, thanks for the many reviews! :) Really made my day. Hope you like this one, too! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Eight: Lies, Truths And Everything In Between<span>**

As his mind slowly swam into consciousness early the next morning, Tony tried to pretend to be still asleep but realized that he wouldn't be able to succeed because something was nagging at him in the back of his mind. His eyes still closed, he tried to figure out why he felt strangely elated and yet oddly devastated. What the hell had happened? He turned around and felt his shoulder protest painfully. It was when he remembered being shot at, being in the hospital and then Gibbs being the one to pick him up. After that, the memories seemed to be a bit fuzzy, though. Still not opening his eyes, he took a deep breath, trying to figure out what exactly had happened. It was when the scent hit him. Sawdust… and coffee.

_Damn._

So he was at Gibbs' house and hadn't dreamt that part. Or had he? He pried open one of his eyes and for sure, there he was. Gibbs' bedroom. Snapshots of the night before appeared in front of his inner eye and he groaned. Those stupid painkillers. Why had he, even as stupid as he was, taken them?

He slowly sat up now and saw his cell phone lying on the nightstand. He grabbed it with his good arm, flopped through his contacts till he found Abby's number and dialed. It only took two rings before the Goth picked up.

"Hey Tony. You okay? Arm hurting?"

"Hey Abs," he answered sighing. "Arm's good."

"But you're not okay," she observed, the concern clearly perceivable in her voice.

"Not quite. I'm at Gibbs'."

"Oooh, do tell."

"There's nothing to tell, he picked me up from the hospital and here I am now."

"You got to give me more here, T-Boy. So far, I'm missing the not-okay-part."

"Painkillers."

"Oh," was all that Abby replied before they sank into a rather long phase of silence. "What did you do?" she finally continued.

"Babble," Tony sighed and shrugged, wincing when his shoulder protested once again.

"Oh-Oh. What exactly did you say?"

"I don't know exactly," Tony groaned. "Think I started telling him stuff about the plan and that me in his bed was the predicted outcome or something, I don't know. Man, I'm so screwed."

"Not necessarily."

Abby sounded chipper all of a sudden and Tony furrowed a brow, wondering if his brain cells were still too slow this morning to process what exactly he was missing here.

"Yeah? Why's that?" he finally asked as Abby apparently didn't care to elaborate.

"Well… what did Gibbs do when you told him?"

Tony remained silent for a few moments, his mind suddenly wandering to the odd look on Gibbs' face when he had looked at him the night before and the slight blush that had been creeping up his cheeks (or had he imagined that?). He pondered whether or not to tell Abby about it but in the end decided against it for reasons unknown. Maybe this was a thing that he wasn't supposed to share after all because, really, that was kind of private, even if he wasn't even sure that it had actually happened.

"Nothing," Tony finally replied, choosing the safe way this time. "Just told me to go to sleep."

"Excellent," Abby all but squealed into her cell and Tony felt the sudden urge to hang up on her, she was much too cheerful for the kind of situation he was in. A dicey situation where he wasn't able to see any positive outcome.

"Abby," Tony said now. "Why the hell are you so happy about this?"

"Think about it, Tony," she continued and he was able to hear her smile even through the phone. "It's not that bad considering. You wanted to tell him anyway. Granted, this was not the way we wanted it to happen but well, what's done is done. You can't change it anyway. So you might as well beard the lion in his den."

"Where he's going to bite off my head - and not in the literal sense of the word."

"Stop whining and man up, DiNozzo. You have to face him anyway, so go ahead and keep me informed, you hear me? I'm a sucker for good gossip."

With that the line went dead and Tony briefly wondered if she had taken classes on phone manners from Gibbs. But as crazy as Abby's rambling was, she was right about one thing. There was no way he couldn't face the figurate lion, so he might as well get it over with. Sighing, he struggled to get up and was surprised when he saw a pair of sweats and an OSU-shirt lying on a chair next to the bed. He had no recollection of when he had forgotten those here but they were definitely his clothes. He managed to get on the pants but was once again failing at getting the sleeve of the shirt over his goddamn right arm. He'd have to shoot that damn perp for putting him in such a situation. Subtly shaking his head, he slowly made his way down into the kitchen, where, sure enough, Gibbs was already sitting, reading the paper, a cup of coffee (and probably not the first at that) in his hand. He glanced up as Tony entered and tilted his head ever so slightly at the sight.

"Need help with that?" he pointed at the shirt that Tony had carelessly thrown over his good shoulder.

"If you don't mind," Tony answered, his voice strangely strangled and he realized that his cheeks were slowly burning up.

"Sure," Gibbs just said and stood up and after a few sure movements Tony was fully dressed and flushed to crimson.

"Coffee?" the bossman asked as if it was an everyday occurrence to dress his Senior Field Agent.

"Yeah," the younger man replied, settling on one of the other chairs, putting his head into the palm of his left hand.

"You okay?" Gibbs echoed Abby's earlier question and Tony noticed the slight note of concern in his boss' voice now.

He couldn't deal with that. Gibbs wasn't supposed to be freaking worried about him. He should be angry with him, should be tentative or whatever. Anything but freaking worried.

"No," Tony finally said. "And you don't have to pretend, either."

"Pretend?" he prodded now, handing Tony a cup before he sat down right next to him.

"Yeah, pretend that all of this," Tony gestured around aimlessly. "Hasn't happened."

"Ah," Gibbs only replied and he could feel his eyes on him now but Tony refused to look back at him, sure that whatever expression Gibbs was sporting he wouldn't be able to take it.

Tony sighed, rubbing his hand over his face, desperately trying to find a way to talk about this. He wasn't even sure what he wanted to tell him. Write it off as insanity caused by painkillers? Tell him that he had been lusting after him for weeks now? Explain to him why he was unable to stop thinking about it? Or put his cards on the table? He just didn't know and the more time he was letting pass with no answer, the angrier Gibbs would _surely_ become.

Tony knew well enough how impatient the man was and it was only then, that it struck him as odd that Gibbs hadn't said anything, yet. Curious now, Tony risked a glance into the other man's face and felt his breath hitch in his throat for a second. He was looking right at him, that odd look from the night before back on his face, his lips not quite curled into a smile or even a half-smile but the corners of his lips were definitely twitching. Tony wasn't quite sure what to make of that but at least, Gibbs didn't seem to be angry at all. He chanced to look into those icy-blue eyes which were staring at him so intently that for a moment, Tony forgot how to breathe. He recovered quickly though as he averted his glance again and instead found interest in the cup of coffee in front of him.

"Listen Gibbs," he finally started to explain. "Those things I said last night… it won't happen again. I didn't mean any of that."

_Stupid idiot of a coward!_

Why had he just said that? Tony had no clue whatsoever. This wasn't like him, he was a freaking man, he didn't run away from things ever. But who was he kidding? He had been running from this _thing_ for weeks now, had denied it as long as he had been able to.

"So you didn't mean there was a plan?" Gibbs rudely interrupted his train of thought.

"Yeah. No. I mean," Tony stuttered, then took a sip from his coffee to buy himself and his dumb, idiot brain cells more time to think. "There was plan. But it wasn't…"

"Wasn't what?" Gibbs prodded again, his voice so calm that Tony couldn't help to look at him, look into those wary blue eyes again.

"It wasn't… you weren't…," he trailed off, having no idea how to continue with this.

_Shit._ This was even more awkward than their conversations in Gibbs' car the other day and Tony would have bet his entire collection of Cary Grant movies that it couldn't possibly get more awkward than that – ever. But well, once again, he had been proven wrong.

"I wasn't supposed to know?" the other man finally finished his sentence and Tony nodded, unable to even press out one single word by now.

Gibbs fell silent after that, still watching him warily as if Tony would explode sometime soon. Tony just stared right back at him, hoping that Gibbs wouldn't notice his shaky hands and breaths, wouldn't realize what kind of inner battle Tony was fighting there.

"DiNozzo," he finally replied, his voice gruff. "I'm good with sitting here all day and just stare at you. I got no problem with that but at some point you have to talk to me and knowing you, you've never gone as much as an hour without talking."

Despite himself, Tony let out a bark of a laugh and oddly enough saw Gibbs' shoulders relax at that. He hadn't even noticed that the guy was tense before. Strange.

"So?"

"Can't we just forget about it?"

Gibbs didn't reply anything, just raised an eyebrow and almost imperceptibly shook his head, waiting for Tony to finally spill his guts. Rubbing his hand over his face again, Tony sighed, trying to find a goddamn way to explain all of that to him.

"Fine. First of all, fair warning, I'm going to break like a thousand of those rules of yours… Okay," Tony took a deep breath and averted his glance from his boss again. "I'm sorry, okay? For all of this, I didn't mean to tell you that, I didn't mean to spill the beans last night. And I don't know what's wrong with me, either. But ever since I've seen you at that restaurant with that… woman a couple of weeks ago, I can't… there's…"

"What woman and what restaurant?" Gibbs interrupted his stammering, his voice actually sounding surprised.

"Uh, I don't know. Redhead, you know the kind you like. It was at that fancy Indian restaurant and for the love of god, I can't remember the freaking the name of it right now."

"Oh," Gibbs just said and he actually sounded amused now, causing Tony to look at him again.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, oh, Tony."

"That's all you've got say?"

"What am I supposed to say?" Gibbs retorted; his eyebrow raised again, his eyes looking at him curiously.

"I don't know," Tony answered indignantly, suddenly remembering the anger that had consumed him at the restaurant when the older man hadn't even acknowledged him. "Why don't you start by telling me why you acted like you didn't know me? I mean, I don't expect you to chit chat with me while you're on a date but, you know, a hello or even a freaking nod of your head would do."

Tony trailed off now, knowing that he made no sense at all. Why was he even angry at Gibbs now? He had no right to be. Nothing in the world gave him the right to feel that way at the moment and he wasn't even sure what it was that had made him snap now. Only as he stared into the amused face of the other man, he realized that he wasn't angry about the time at the restaurant but about the way Gibbs was treating him right now. Why the hell was he acting like that? Tony didn't get it, didn't the guy know that he was about to pour his heart out right before his eyes?

"Tony, listen," Gibbs finally replied and his voice was calm again. "You're right, I should have said something to you. I didn't think you'd care. Didn't you recognize her? She's the widow of Lt. Sanderson, the man we found dead at Rock Creek Park a couple of months ago?"

"Yeah," Tony slowly answered, suddenly remembering the case. "His brother beat him to death with a baseball bat."

"That's the one. I gave her my number back then, if she needed anything and we kept in touch and when she asked if I wanted to go to dinner with her, I couldn't say no because she's really not feeling well. In fact, she checked herself into the hospital to treat her depression two weeks ago. I was merely being friendly."

"Okay," Tony mumbled, dipping his head ever so slightly. "Sorry, that's none of my business."

"No, it's not and before you ask, I didn't talk to you because I promised her an evening free of anything that worries her. And I don't think seeing you would have helped with repressing the death of her husband and the investigation afterwards."

"God… Gibbs," Tony stuttered now, shaking his head vigorously. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"It's okay. I could have explained it to you afterwards, too, but I didn't know you cared."

"God, I feel so stupid now."

They fell silent once again with Tony wondering whether or not it would have made any difference had he known all of that before. He couldn't tell. All he knew was that if he hadn't seen the two of them together that night, this thing would have never gotten blown out of proportion the way it had. But then again, if it wasn't for that situation, maybe some other time would have triggered the same thing. Who knew and did it matter anyway? He didn't think so

"But you didn't want to talk to me about Mrs. Sanderson, did you?

"No. I wish, though."

Gibbs gave him a small smile again and Tony hadn't seen one of those in a very long time and his stomach suddenly felt all fuzzy. He subtly shook his head, trying to get out of his headspace, trying to repress the fear again.

"Look, I know what I've said last night sounded bad but… I… can't help it. I don't know what's wrong with me and I had planned to bury it somewhere really deep and not let it resurface ever… but then there was that night, when we got called in and I was drunk and Abby kept on needling me and… I… told her the truth why I was so distracted the last couple of weeks. And I swear I wasn't going to pursue anything . But Abby kept on insisting and seriously, she screwed so terribly with my mind that in the end I really thought all of this was good idea."

"So, all of this – whatever it is – is Abby's fault?" Gibbs retorted, his gruff voice back in place.

"No, I didn't mean it like that. She was just… pushing it and you know how she gets. She was just really… persuasive. So we've made this plan, which wouldn't have played out the way we, I mean, I wanted it to anyway because, frankly, it was stupid."

"The plan that was supposed to result in 'you in my bed'?"

"That's the one," Tony replied, trying to plaster a grin on his face but failing miserably.

He had started to sweat, his heart was working overtime by now and he heard his own pulse rush through his ears. He still didn't dare to quite look at Gibbs who had gone suspiciously quiet and still. Tony took a deep breath before he continued.

"See, I told you we should just forget about it."

Again, Gibbs remained silent and Tony finally turned his gaze upon him because, seriously, he wasn't even sure whether or not the guy was actually breathing now. He quickly checked the steady lifting and lowering of his chest before he let his eyes wander towards the other man's blue ones. The wary look from before had vanished completely now, only to be replaced by something that Tony couldn't help but describe as incredulity.

"Why?" Gibbs' quiet voice suddenly cut through the silence.

"Why what?"

"Why do you want that?"

And did his boss actually sound insecure now? No, Tony surely had to imagine that because why would he be? Tony's head was the one that was soon to be chopped off by Gibbs, not the other way around.

"Because," he started slowly, struggling with forming a sentence that would make sense. "I don't know."

"You don't know? What exactly don't you know?"

And yep, now he actually sounded as Tony had expected him to sound from the very beginning. Had dreaded he would sound. Angry – very angry.

"I don't know what I think anymore. I'm sorry, okay?"

"Stop apologizing. Just tell me what you want, Tony. Mess with my head? Is this some joke of yours?"

"No!" Tony cried out now, jumping up from his chair in one swift movement, ignoring the stinging pain in his right arm. "No, I'm not joking."

"Then… what, Tony?"

Tony sighed, slowly backing away from where Gibbs was sitting as if he was afraid that the guy would attack him. What in the world had he been thinking? He couldn't tell Gibbs stuff like that! He knew that he was dumb sometimes but this had to be the high point of stupidity. He had just ruined what had easily been the best relationship he had ever had with anyone. And for what? God, how could he have been so stupid to think that there might actually be something more hidden there? Just… how?

Taking another step backwards, his brain cells finally kicked back into thinking straight mode and he quickly pondered his options. He had to get out of here as quickly as possible, had to get out of here before Gibbs could seriously hurt him – physically and mentally. But was there even a way to do that? An idea finally formed in his head and it wasn't like he actually liked it but it was the only choice.

"I wanted to get my rocks off," he finally continued and his voice was surprisingly steady (Why was that anyway? Didn't he usually stutter whenever he tried to lie to Gibbs?). "And you were there and you know one thing led to another and here I am now."

Gibbs stared at him with wide eyes now, his skin slightly paler than usual, his forehead wrinkled. There were a few moments of pin-drop-silence before the older man stood up calmly (far too calmly for Tony's taste) and approached him, stepping into his personal space till they were face to face, their noses nearly touching.

"Get out," he then said his voice strangely strangled. "And don't even think of saying anything right now. Take your goddamn sick leave and then come back to work but don't expect anything other than a 'DiNozzo, grab your gear' from me."

With that, he turned around and left the house, the front door falling shut behind him with a loud bang.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Let me know what you think, please! :)_


	9. What If I Told You?

_A/N: Thanks for your reviews! Made my day! :) Hope you like this one also! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Nine: What If I Told You?<span>**

Tony didn't quite know how long he had been standing there afterwards, just staring at the door through which Gibbs had disappeared. He didn't even know what exactly had just happened. All he knew was that he had been stupid – no news there, really – but somehow that description didn't quite cut it. He couldn't help but feel guilty, couldn't help but feel the remorse creeping up his spine, moving towards his chest and suddenly had gripped his heart in a tight grasp.

What had he done?

He groaned and gave himself a head slap as if it would bring Gibbs back through that door. Had that really made sense in his head? 'Get his rocks off?' What the hell? He had that major thing for Gibbs and that was all he had told him? What was wrong with him? Seriously?

He sat down on one of the chairs again, wondering what he was supposed to do now. Knowing Gibbs, he probably should just leave and do as he had been told but something inside him was strictly against that. Would the boss be mad if he just sat there until he came back?

It was only then that the fact Gibbs had left his house struck him as odd. Tony had expected (not that he had expected anything really but afterwards it just seemed to be the more logical reaction) him to be angry (which, granted, he was now), had expected him to head slap into the next year (century even) and had expected him to throw him out of the house. But that hadn't happened. The guy hadn't even raised his voice, hadn't punched him, nor had he given him a lecture. He had just left.

Huh.

That wasn't like Gibbs at all. He had never done that. Any why had he left Tony standing there, when it was his house? When he could have just grabbed Tony by the collar of his shirt and drag him out? Gibbs wasn't one to run away from a confrontation – ever. So, what was wrong in this picture? Tony closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his hand over his face. Immediately, those icy blue eyes appeared in front of his inner eyes, staring intently at him, the glimmer of curiosity and hopefulness in them.

Wait, what?

That goddamn figment of his imagination was striking again. Like Gibbs would ever hope for anything like that. Tony sighed again and stared at his hands for a moment, mentally going through that mess of a conversation again. Hadn't the older man sounded insecure when he had asked him why he had wanted to end up in his bed? Or had Tony – just like so many things lately – merely imagined that, too? It was perfectly possible but then again maybe the insecurity had been there after all. Couldn't his life just be like a movie for once, so that he'd be able to rewind that conversation to give it a second look? Or better yet, rewind it and then do it all differently?

He still didn't know why he had said the things he said. Would it have been really that bad if he had just told him the damn truth? It surely couldn't have gone any worse than this, could it? There was so much he had wanted to tell him and he had been such a stupid coward, had just been too scared to give it away. Why hadn't he told him what was really going on? Why had he always had to hide behind that stupid careless clown mask, even when he knew that Gibbs was able to look through it anyway? And why – really _why_ – hadn't Gibbs detected that lie (one of the worst lies he had ever told in his whole life)? Why was Gibbs' sense about him off now in the worst possible moment? But well, did it really matter? If Tony hadn't lied in the first place, none of the other things would matter, would they?

He briefly wondered if it would have actually made a difference though. Wouldn't Gibbs' reaction still have been the same? Would he have been able to deal with who Tony really was? Would he have been okay, if he had let him in on his charade? Tony didn't know. He just didn't know. He guessed, though, that Gibbs wouldn't have left the way he had. He wouldn't have left Tony standing there helplessly, if had he told him how he was really feeling.

Tony delivered another slap on his own head. What had he been thinking, for heaven's sake? He should have just told him because, seriously, this way he would have at least gotten an answer to his (even to him) frightful feelings. He would have known what Gibbs thought about all of that. Sure, he would have rejected him but, really, Tony would have been able to live with that, would have been able to move on (maybe).

But it was too late now, Gibbs would forever be mad at him about what he had said, about what he had done and he had every right in the world to feel that way, too. Tony would never know if there would have been a chance, if Gibbs even remotely returned his feelings. And only know, only when he realized that he had lost everything, did Tony become aware of the fact that he didn't just have the hots for him, didn't just want him for the obvious, shallow reasons. No, he wanted _him_, wanted Gibbs with everything that he implied even. He didn't mind that the guy was a bastard most of the time, didn't mind that he was as straight as an arrow, he just didn't mind. All he wanted was to be with him and not even necessarily in the romantic (did he really just think that?) kind of way. He wanted him any possible way and dumb as he was, he had thrown away all of that because he had to be the bastard for once, had chickened out, had to top his usual density by saying that stuff.

Get your freaking rocks off, DiNozzo? _Really?_

Tony let his head sink to the table where it landed with a silent thud. He would never have the chance to make this alright again, Gibbs had made sure of that. Tony was sure that there was no talking to the guy anymore, not unless it was work-related. Not unless…

There had to be a way to make him listen and this time Tony wouldn't freak, wouldn't be stupid. He pondered his options for a moment. He could leave him a message on his voicemail but it was likely that the guy still didn't know how to use it, so he discarded that option pretty quickly. He could just sit here and wait for him to come home but something (probably that stupid, truth-telling voice in the back of his mind again) held him back. Gibbs had made it clear that he wanted him out of the house and Tony doubted that he'd hear him out because he would probably be too angry (with justification, too). That only left one option then really. But as soon as the idea had formed in Tony's mind, as soon as he had raised his right hand to grab one of the ball pens that were lying on the far end of the table, he realized that he couldn't do it. He was so pathetic that he couldn't even write him a goddamn letter because his arm painfully reminded him of the reason he had landed here in the first place.

Groaning again, Tony looked for something to write on anyway and finally found a small post-it. Trying his best to write somewhat legible with his left hand, he left two words for Gibbs to read, hoping that it would get him at least to think about not talking to him anymore. Tony knew that it wasn't enough – not by far – but he had no other choice (none he could think of anyway but that probably didn't say much because he was stupid after all) and it had to do. He hoped it was enough for Gibbs to understand that he _really _wanted to talk to him. Plus, hadn't they always been better at communicating without having to use any words anyway? Maybe Gibbs would understand him, would reconsider it and hear him out.

He hurried to gather up his stuff from the bedroom, checked that he hadn't forgotten anything important and called a cab before he went into the kitchen again, making sure the note was clearly visible and not for Gibbs to miss. He smoothed the surface of the paper and read the words again.

_I lied._

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry, I know it's a bit short but it seemed like a good place to stop, so..._

_Reviews would be great, though! :)  
><em>


	10. It's Okay

_A/N: Sorry for the delay, real life suddenly got in the way, lol. I hope I'll be able to update more quickly again! Thanks a lot for your comments, alerts and favorites! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Ten: It's Okay<span>**

Tony had been feeling restless ever since he had gotten home to his apartment. He had tried to relax, had tried to keep his mind from wandering towards that damn conversation earlier that morning but the usual DiNozzo repression tactics didn't seem to work this time. He had tried to watch a movie – to no avail. He had tried to tidy up his living-room – to no avail. Had tried to surf the internet for something interesting, for a funny video that he could send McGee about a cat or something – to no avail. So, there he was now, pacing around in the living-room, trying desperately to forget. He had pondered whether or not to call Abby but she would surely be so mad at him (justified) that he wouldn't be able to calm her down long enough to actually get a perspective from her other than 'Stupid, DiNozzo!' And well, he already knew that one. So there was nothing left to do for him than to wait for Gibbs who might or might not show up.

He had also debated to take some more painkillers but in the end had decided against it. Granted, his shoulder was still hurting a lot but on the off chance that Gibbs would show after all, he wanted to keep a clear mind. Those damn painkillers had done their work the day before and Tony had no desire to relive that experience ever again – though, as he came to think about it, hadn't it been a rather glorious time when the older man had practically tucked him in, hadn't minded Tony's involuntary spilling of his feelings? Yep, it had only been half-bad but the stupidity of this morning's Sober-Tony weren't quite that satisfying, were they now?

He had settled on a movie after all because, well, truth be told, he was feeling pretty drowsy after all. He must have drifted off to sleep some time into _Pulp Fiction _because as a loud knock on his door reached his ears, he almost fell off the couch, his heart suddenly beating a mile a minute. He internally ran the options, who it could be but was pretty sure that only one person was likely – Gibbs. But then again, wasn't exactly that highly unlikely?

Another knock disrupted his inner musings and he slowly got up, figuring that he'd never find out, if he didn't open that door. Sighing and still trying to keep his pulse that was incredibly loud in his ears by now in check, he opened the front door and sure enough, there he was in all his glory – the one and only Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He still didn't look quite alright, though not as furious (and not that disappointed, either, but that hadn't been real – figment of his wishful thinking again) as before. His cheeks were slightly red and his hair a bit disheveled as if he had run his hand through it one too many times.

"What is this?" Gibbs tore him out of his inner monologue again, holding up the piece of paper that Tony had left on his kitchen table earlier that morning.

"A post-it," Tony replied without thinking and already bowed his head, expecting the head slap that never came.

"I meant in a larger sense, Tony."

The younger man dared to look at him again, slightly startled by the lack of anger in the other man's voice, slightly surprised by the strangely strangled tone.

Without a word, he stepped aside as he let Gibbs in, gesturing towards the couch where he flopped down, with Tony next to him doing the same. Though, granted, that probably wasn't the wisest choice as he was in perfect head slap distance now but he needed something to go on now and the fact that Gibbs wasn't shying away from the close proximity was a pretty good sign after all.

"What is this?" Gibbs repeated his earlier question.

"The truth," Tony replied slowly, internally bracing himself for whatever might lie ahead now.

"The truth is that you lied?" Gibbs prodded, the post-it still in his hands as he stared at it.

"Yeah."

"What about? All of this?"

"No," Tony dragged out the word, talking himself into telling the man the truth and not to chicken out again. "Just the last part of it was."

"The last part?"

"Yeah."

He rubbed his hand over his face. So, this was going to be one of those talks with Gibbs. The painfully stretched out ones, where you could see no end to them at all and Tony knew that he deserved one, too. Plus, he had no clue how to shorten this particular one anyhow. He still wasn't sure how the other man would react to the truth after all…

"And that would be?"

"The wanting-to-have-some-fun part."

"So, you don't want to have fun?" Gibbs asked, his eyes still on that goddamn paper so that Tony wasn't able to read his expression, which he almost desperately wanted to because Gibbs' voice didn't give away anything.

"No… I mean, yeah, I do. But…"

God, why was this so hard to say? Just a few simple words. How hard could it possibly be? Really?

"But?"

And Gibbs didn't exactly make it easier, did he now?

"Fun was not the reason per se. Listen Gibbs, I'm sorry about earlier. I was completely out of line and I didn't mean to… lie to you. I simply lost my nerves. I couldn't tell you because that was so not like I ever imagined telling you – well, I hadn't exactly planned on telling you ever, that is. So… I'm sorry."

"Okay," Gibbs slowly replied and finally turned to look at him, his blue eyes locking into Tony's green ones. "So why don't you try telling me anyhow?"

"It's not that simple."

"Make it simple. How much worse can it possibly be?"

_Oh, you've got no idea._

"You sure, you want to know?"

"Spit it out, Tony. The sooner you start…"

"Well, you already know the facts, right? I mean… I didn't mean for this to happen and I don't even have a clue how that – all of that – could have happened. But there's this… attraction towards you and I simply can't get you out of my head. Believe me… I tried but nothing seems to work, so here we are now."

"Okay," Gibbs simply said, not offering anything for Tony to go on.

Why did he have to make it so hard? A simple 'shut up' would be sufficient but there was just… nothing and it slowly drove Tony crazy.

"Okay? That's all you're going to say?"

Gibbs remained silent for a few moments. He tilted his head ever so slightly and those blue eyes bored into Tony's again and for a split of a second the younger man was sure that the guy's ears had turned pink again. And this time it sure as hell was no figment of his imagination. This time it was _real_.

"What am I supposed to say, Tony? You haven't even told me anything, yet."

"I need to spell it out for you, don't I?"

Gibbs just nodded, his eyes not once leaving Tony's, which in return made him slightly restless again. But this was it. This was the moment that would put an end to his vivid imagination…

"I'm," Tony started over. "Kind of… well, you know. I think I'm in love with you."

_Bam!_

There, he had said it. And strangely enough, it hadn't been all that bad considering. Granted, his heart was acting like it was about to rip apart his chest, his hands had started to sweat and his pulse was loud in his ears again but despite all of that, he felt strangely elated and he didn't even know why. Because it surely couldn't be due to Gibbs' reaction because, well, there wasn't any – literally. The guy was still staring at him unblinking and Tony wasn't even sure whether or not he was still breathing. He had expected him to slap him, had expected to run out of him, had expected anything but this. Not the stoically silent Gibbs because that was the kind of Gibbs that Tony had never been able to handle very well.

"You're going to continue staring at me now or are you planning to say something soon-ish? Because seriously, Gibbs, I don't think I can stand the silence right now, so before I do or say something stupid, just… say something?"

"Tony," Gibbs finally replied and eventually averted his gaze to stare at his hands again. "I don't know what to say actually."

"I think I get that," Tony replied slowly before his mouth decided to run amok again as he rambled on. "I don't expect you to do anything, really. I mean, I needed weeks to finally stop denying this… thing. And I also know it's a lot to take in for you now. I totally get that. Crystal clear. And yes, I know you're not interested. I mean why would you? You're straight, clearly, and I don't think you ever looked at me twice before or at any other guy for that matter. I totally get that. I just… well, the painkillers and stuff… but I think I would have told you anyway because this is eating me up from inside and you know me, I've never been good at shutting up. And I totally get that you're mad at me now."

"I'm not mad," Gibbs interrupted his flow of words as he held up one hand.

"You're not?"

"I was this morning. Why did you lie, Tony?"

Tony stared at him for a long moment before he answered, this time choosing his words carefully as he had the distinctive feeling that it was indeed very important for Gibbs to understand Tony's actions – for whatever reasons.

"I freaked out. I didn't think that I was ready to face the consequences of my actions… and feelings, too, I guess."

"And how does the 'get your rocks off' fit in there?"

"Listen," Tony sighed. "It doesn't. Like I said, I freaked and wasn't particularly thinking clearly. That's all I've got to say in my defense. I was stupid. I thought by lying to you, you wouldn't see through me for once, wouldn't see what I really needed to tell you."

"What made you decide to write this, then?" Gibbs prodded, holding up the piece of paper again.

"I don't know," Tony shrugged. "I guess I hadn't expected you to just walk out on me. I had expected you to yell at me, head slap me or even fire me but you were… too calm or something. I don't know."

"Okay."

"Okay? You have to give me something here. What does 'okay' mean?"

"It means okay," Gibbs replied and Tony didn't get why he was _still _so calm about this. "It means that I get it. You freaked, you lied and now you told me the truth. So, it's okay."

Tony stared at him, not quite sure if hitting him would help to get the guy back on track. Back on Gibbs-track. Why in the world was he so calm, so understanding and why in the world was he still sitting there, right next to him and s_till _looking at him with searching eyes? And most importantly, why were his freaking ears still red and why had that blush suddenly spread out onto his cheeks, too? Tony felt his heart pick up pace again as that insipid tiny little voice in the back of his mind started to nudge him once again that maybe there was that little off chance that Gibbs… But no, that wasn't possible, was it?

"So, you're not gonna fire me, then?" Tony asked now, basically just to fill that damn silence again.

"Why would I?" Gibbs replied, seemingly actually taken aback by the question. "I don't fire my best agent just because of something like this."

"So what is it, then?" Tony prodded, by now unable to think straight.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?"

What was the guy playing at? Couldn't he just tell him that he wasn't interested? Couldn't he just pull Tony out of this misery by telling him to fuck off? Why did he react that way? Why?

"Well, it's kind of a lot to process right now."

_Huh. _

Okay, well, he had a point there, probably. Didn't mean it was any easier for Tony to just sit there and wait for a reaction – any kind of reaction, really. He'd take anything right now.

"I get that," he finally replied. "Hell, I needed weeks to process all of that."

That actually elicited a snort from Gibbs that sounded suspiciously like a laugh and that was all that was needed for Tony to snap out of his strange headspace.

"Gibbs, listen. You don't have to say anything. I'm done with… pushing for answers. That doesn't mean I don't want them, even though I think I know the answer to that one and that's okay, too, really. I just hope that this doesn't affect our relationship. I know that's an awful lot to ask but I never meant to destroy anything."

"It's okay. I know, Tony."

"Okay, thanks," Tony replied and for the first time in what felt like forever, he felt a real smile tug at the corners of his mouth.

"I just… I think I need," Gibbs continued and he seemed oddly reluctant all of a sudden. "I'll need more time to give you an answer that is sufficient. I…"

"That's okay," Tony hurried to say, realizing the longer Gibbs needed to think about it, the better the outcome might be for him after all.

"Okay, then. I think I'm going to go now. You rest and take care of your arm, okay? I'll check in as soon as I can."

"Okay," Tony replied, giving him another smile, which Gibbs returned with a barely visible nod of his head before he left the apartment, leaving a slightly flabbergasted Tony behind.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Was that okay? xD Would love to hear your thoughts about this one! :)_


	11. Doesn't Matter

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews, would be great if you kept them coming xD_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Eleven: Doesn't Matter<span>**

Two days later, Tony was sure that he had become insane. How else could he describe the state he had been in the last days? He had never been good at sitting at home alone (It was not for nothing that he had come back to work a week early when he had suffered from the plague after all) but this time he was so restless that even in his sleep, his mind wouldn't shut up. It had started innocuously enough, just replaying that conversation with Gibbs in his apartment but soon his stupid mind had decided to switch it around.

First there was Gibbs telling him that he wasn't interested but that he had the perfect guy for him and had presented him Fornell's head on a silver platter. But it got even worse after that. There was Gibbs again pointing his finger at him and laughing an evil laugh that pulled Tony right into Michael Jackson's _Thriller_ video. After that, he had decided to just not go back to sleep again but his body, like so many things lately, had to work against his mind, of course, and he had fallen asleep at some point only to reproduce the earlier conversation again, except this time, Gibbs said nothing about needing time and space and had pinned him against the wall in no time, basically ripping his clothes off, his hands and lips everywhere at the same time. Tony had woken up from that one sweating, hard and even more disturbed by that than from the Fornell one.

And still, a part of him wanted all of this, really wanted it but then again, this was not supposed to happen like that. And then the realization slowly sank in that it wouldn't happen at all because despite Gibbs' open reluctance to turn him down, he surely wasn't considering starting something with him. And Tony couldn't even blame him because why would anyone want a relationship with him? He was so dysfunctional on so many levels that he wouldn't even date himself as he came to think about it. But then again, Gibbs had always accepted him the way he was and had never laughed (and certainly not that Evil Laugh) at him or his opinions, so that had to count for something, right?

It was all so ambiguous and that exactly was the reason why Tony was sure he had become insane and there was nothing momentary about it, either.

He knew that he should talk to someone, Abby probably, but he just couldn't bring himself to actually do it. Abby would be far too excited (and yeah, she kind of always was but that situation didn't call for it at all) about the prospect of Gibbs having to think about this… thing and Tony was sure that he wouldn't be able to take it because, really, he wasn't that much in denial to know the outcome and Abby's enthusiasm would only make it harder for him to accept it. Hell, he had even given up hope that Gibbs would come to him and talk because it had been a few days after all.

On day three of Gibbs-contemplation, Tony slowly made his way up the stairs to his apartment, a bag of groceries in his hand, trying to figure out how to best unlock the door with his bad arm, so that he wouldn't have to put the bag on the floor. He was still in thoughts as he finally reached his floor and only then did he look up and nearly dropped the bag as he saw a person standing there, casually leaning against the doorframe.

"Didn't pick the lock?" he asked, trying to hide his surprise and his pulse that was rushing through his ears so loudly that he was sure that the guy must have heard it, too.

Gibbs just shook his head and grabbed the bag from Tony's hand, so that he was able to unlock the door. He walked into the kitchen, knowing that Gibbs would follow him, and started the coffee maker. He heard Gibbs set the bag on the counter but he still didn't turn around, trying to buy himself some time. He wasn't able to comprehend himself at that moment. For the last three days, he hadn't thought of anything but the time when his boss would finally show up, hoping it would rather be sooner than later. But now that the guy was there, he didn't want to have that conversation after all. Hell, he even dreaded turning around to face him. He busied himself with the coffee for the time being, watching the liquid slowly dropping into the cups in front of him. It was only when he was about to take them, that he realized that Gibbs had been strikingly silent and that was really odd (right?) considering that patience wasn't exactly the man's strongest suit.

Sighing, Tony finally turned around, offered one cup to Gibbs who accepted without a word and then picked up his own and went to sit down on one of the chairs around the kitchen table. The older man followed suit and sat across from him, his eyes finally meeting Tony's and he felt his heart stutter for a moment or two before it picked up its normal rhythm. There was something about the guy today that made Tony itchy inside, though he didn't even have a clue why that was. He looked exactly the same, maybe a bit tired but then again, when didn't he?

"So, what brings you here?" he asked nonchalantly, figuring that they'd have to start talking at some point.

Gibbs took a sip from his coffee and made a face before he averted his eyes from Tony's, instead finding interest in his hands, which was slightly unusual for him. Again, the uncertainty boiled up in Tony and he tried hard not to listen to that obnoxious voice in his own mind that kept on repeating 'he's _so_ interested'.

"I've been thinking," the older man finally started talking, still not looking at him.

"Okay," Tony prompted, hoping that Gibbs would set aside that weird newly found insecurity soon.

"Can I ask you a question, Tony?"

And now, those icy blue eyes met his again and Tony felt something strange spread in his stomach as he looked right back at him before he nodded.

"Sure."

"Have you ever… you know," Gibbs started and now Tony was confident that he actually _was_ nervous. "been with a man before?"

Slightly taken aback, Tony remained silent for a moment as he leaned back, rubbing the back of his head with his hand. He hadn't expected that, really.

"No, I haven't."

Gibbs slightly tilted his head now, causing Tony to feel like he was being x-rayed.

"The night when you were at that club?"

"Uh, that was," Tony trailed off for a moment, trying to figure out how to explain that to Gibbs as he had apparently been thinking about that after all. "Uh, nothing happened. I didn't lie when I told you that I was meeting a frat brother there. And well, I wanted to, uh, prove to myself that I was in fact not interested in men - any men. But there was this guy there, who looked a lot like… like you and I thought what the hell, might as well get it out of the way so that I'd be able to stop… thinking about you. So yeah, I kissed him that night but nothing else happened."

"Because I called you about that case," Gibbs said calmly, his voice once again strangely strangled as if he was not comfortable with that particular kind of conversation (and Tony couldn't blame him for that, could he now?).

"No… I mean, yes, you did call right at that moment but I don't think I would have gone through with it."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"I don't know," Tony shrugged with his good shoulder. "Didn't feel right, I guess."

"Kissing a man?"

"No. Kissing a man that wasn't you."

Gibbs remained silent after that, though Tony was pretty sure that he had just seen a small smile tug at the corners of his mouth. The older man covered it pretty quickly though by taking another sip from his coffee but Tony wasn't fooled this time. He _had _seen it. And that slightly hopeful feeling inside of him didn't waver as Gibbs looked at him again, all serious.

"Then what makes you so sure that it would feel right if you kissed me?"

"Uh," Tony slowly answered, slightly taken aback. "I'm not sure. I mean… how could I?"

"Exactly. So why tell me all that stuff when you're not sure about anything?"

"I didn't say that," Tony replied, trying to stay calm, unwilling to let Gibbs put words into his mouth. "I just said that I don't know what it would feel like kissing you. But I'm sure about everything else I've said."

"That you're having the hots for me?"

"No," Tony replied resigning. "That I fell for you."

That apparently took the other guy by surprise as he actually blushed now and not one of those faint blushes that Tony had seen before but one that actually reached his cheeks. But why was he reacting like that now? Tony had already told him that before. What was so different this time?

"You really mean that?"

"Yeah," Tony said now, locking eyes with him.

They stayed like that for a few moments and Tony didn't even dare to blink in case he'd miss any kind of movement. He still didn't know exactly what Gibbs was getting at with all those questions.

_But wait!_ That voice inside his head gave him a shout again. He wouldn't ask like that, if he was about to decline him, would he? Right? Right?

"Why… are you even asking?" Tony finally pressed out, his heart suddenly beating a mile a minute.

"Wanted to make sure."

"About what exactly?"

"That you're sure about this."

"I am. Otherwise I would have never told you all that stuff."

"Okay."

"So," Tony dragged out the word, Gibbs' reluctant answers finally getting to him. "Now that you're sure and stuff… uh, you said you needed time to think things over. And as you're here, I take it that you have reached at least some kind of consensus about this?"

"Yeah," the other man answered, rubbing a hand over his face before he looked back at Tony and even McGee would have noticed _that _blush now. "Tony, I won't lie to you. You totally caught me off guard with this whole… thing. I had no clue that you'd ever be interested in me that way. And I don't really know what to make of all of this. You know I care about you but I never considered _that_ possibility before. I'm not saying it's a bad thing or anything, I just… There's so much on the line here."

"I know that and I tried to fight it, too," Tony interrupted him, not entirely sure whether he liked where this conversation was headed. "But let's put aside our work and your rules and everything else for a moment, okay? And I'm sorry but I have to ask. Are you… you know… interested?"

There was a moment of hesitation on Gibbs' side and Tony felt his heart grow heavy as an uncomfortable feeling spread in his stomach but then something changed in Gibbs' posture and his expression and there was that soft smile again. It was there, right? Tony was not imagining things this time…

"I think I am."

"You are?" Tony asked and a smile spread on his face that was so broad that he was sure it was about to split his face in half.

That heavy feeling in his stomach had vanished from one moment to the next, only to be replaced by something that Tony couldn't even place. It was a good feeling for sure and he wouldn't have cared if his heart stopped beating at that moment anyway. He just stared back at Gibbs whose lips were forming an oddly out of place half-smile now but Tony didn't care about that, either.

He stood up now, watching the other man closely in case he'd change his mind. Tony knew that that talk was far from being over, that they hadn't really worked out anything but he didn't care. He approached him now and was relieved to see Gibbs also getting up now, never once breaking their eye contact. He came to a halt as he was standing mere inches away from him, as he was able to feel the other man's breath on his cheeks. He gave him his best smile and felt a wave of relief crush over him when Gibbs returned it almost instantly with another half-smile.

"What are you doing?" Gibbs finally asked, oddly enough slightly out of breath now.

"Making sure kissing you feels right."

He saw Gibbs' eyes widen for a moment before Tony threw all caution to the winds and closed the small gap between them, softly pressing his lips against Gibbs'. It was nothing more than a chaste brush of surprisingly soft lips and it didn't even last particularly long but as Tony reluctantly backed away, that weird feeling in his stomach (and that couldn't possibly be the often-cited butterflies now, could it?) was back again. This was nothing like the kiss he had shared with Lucas the other night at the club. No, this one was exactly what Tony had wanted it to be. This wasn't about kissing a guy but about kissing Gibbs. He looked back at the other man and saw him staring at him with a wondering expression.

"And? Does it?"

"Feel right? Yeah," Tony replied only above a whisper, still unable to look away from those blue eyes.

"Good."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Would love to hear your thoughts about this one! :)_


	12. Floored

_A/N: Thanks again for the many reviews! :) You guys absolutely made my otherwise crappy day! :) Thanks!_

_Hope you like the rest of their talk, too! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Twelve: Floored<span>**

Tony didn't quite know how long they had been standing there like that, just looking at each other, not even touching if you didn't count locking eyes with each other because, seriously, Tony hadn't been looked at like that ever before, he was sure of that. Finally, Gibbs cleared his throat and sat back down and Tony hurried to follow suit, flopping down on the chair right next to Gibbs'.

"Okay," Gibbs said, averting his eyes to look at his hands instead.

"Okay," Tony repeated, not wanting to start that particular part of the conversation.

He didn't really want to talk about the problems that that kind of relationship would bring along, didn't want to think about the consequences at work and everything. Couldn't they just keep on sitting there, staring at each other and just do nothing?

"We should probably talk," Gibbs shredded his last glimmer of hope.

"Can we just not?" he grinned slightly. "You usually don't like to talk anyway."

"Don't make me head slap you, Tony," Gibbs answered but his voice sounded rather amused now, the tension seemingly easing up.

"Okay, then start talking."

"There are a few things we should probably, you know, think through. But answer me one more question, will you?" he glanced at Tony who nodded and he continued. "What exactly do you want out of this?"

"I don't know," the younger man sighed. "I mean, I know that I don't just want to have some fun, though I do want that, too. But… I don't know what you're thinking of exactly but I'm in. I think I'm all in."

"All in, huh? You sure you want to do that?"

"Don't dare saying something about being a bastard or anything. I already know that. In fact, I think I know you pretty well… after all, we've been working together for ten years now."

"You're right. We do know each other. Doesn't mean it'll make things easy."

"No, but easier," Tony replied, giving him a small smile and took Gibbs' hand in his. "Look, I know that the two of us are pretty dysfunctional when it comes to stuff like this but look at the bright side of that. It can't get any worse than before, can it?"

Gibbs actually let out a laugh at that and softly increased the pressure on Tony's hand. "You're right, it can't. But there's still the job we have to consider, you know that."

"The way I see it," Tony started, making eye contact again. "It shouldn't be a problem."

"How you figure that?"

"Well, we always cared about each other, right? And we always had each other's six and I don't see that changing."

Gibbs gave a half-shrug before he pulled his hand out of Tony's and rubbed it over his face.

"I've made those rules a long time ago, Tony. Back then, I couldn't have made a bigger mistake than getting involved with a co-worker."

"Listen," Tony sighed trying to catch his eye again. "I'm not Jenny and I'm not going anywhere, either. I trust you."

"I know that."

"But?" Tony prodded, knowing that Gibbs was still thinking about something and his stomach clenched at the thought that maybe, maybe, maybe Gibbs would back-pedal after all.

"I don't know," Gibbs sighed and Tony fought the instant urge to wrap his arms around him because, seriously, he had never seen the guy like that, looking nothing but lost.

"Look at me, Gibbs. I'm not going anywhere. Even if we don't… start something, I'll still be here. I'm not giving up the only relationship, the only family that lasted more than a few years just because we couldn't make it work. I'd be crushed, I admit that but I won't go anywhere. All I'm asking you is to give this a chance before you decide it can't work."

Gibbs looked at him for a few moments and Tony felt that odd fluttering motion in his stomach again. Gibbs had never looked at him like that, his head tilted ever so slightly, a small half-smile on his face, his eyes staring at him kindly for once.

"First of all," he cleared his throat once again. "It's Jethro, okay? Secondly, I get where you're coming from and I believe you and you're right about everything you've said."

"But what, Jethro?" Tony probed, emphasizing the before unused name.

"How can you say you're not going anywhere? What if it turns out that we couldn't work it out, that I was a bigger bastard than you could have ever imagined? How d'you know?"

"Easy question," Tony replied, smiling at him because he was sure by now that Gibbs just wanted to make sure the he was sure, otherwise he wouldn't ask all kinds of stuff. "It's a gut feeling. Granted, it's not the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs gut. However, I've learned from the best and _my _gut was telling me before that kissing you would be awesome, too, and guess what, it was!"

"That easy, huh?" Gibbs replied, his voice still somewhat grave, though his eyes suddenly had that spark in them again.

"I've always been easy," Tony joked and it worked apparently as Gibbs - no Jethro, Jethro, Jethro – gave him a smile and took Tony's hand back into his.

"And look," the younger man continued more seriously. "If you're not comfortable with work and stuff, we don't need to tell anyone. I mean, okay, Abby already knows about that… crush I have and she will never stop harassing us about it but we don't have to tell the others. Not right away, if that's what you want."

"Appreciate that," Gibbs answered slowly. "We will have to talk to them in the end though. But I guess we could keep it quiet until we're settled, until we're sure about all of that?"

"Sounds like a damn good plan to me."

"You really are easy," Jethro teased and started trailing patterns on the back of Tony's hand with his thumb. "And you sure you want to be with me? With a man?"

"Well," Tony dragged out the word, trying to find a way to say this without sounding utterly stupid. "You know I always thought about myself as straight and stuff but those last weeks when I tried to talk myself out of this, when I was in denial about falling for you, I tried all sorts of stupid stuff to prove to myself that I'm in fact not gay. And I know it sounds stupid but well, I've tried everything you know, from watching gay porn - and yep, I've been that desperate – to kissing a guy. And surprise, I was still turned on. A lot. And as I'm already humiliating myself right now, I had a couple of dreams about you, too, and they really drove me almost insane. So, yeah, I've never been with a man before but I don't think it'll be a problem. Like… at all."

"You really have it bad," Jethro replied, grinning at him and Tony knew that he wasn't really laughing at him but just wanted to loosen up the tension between them. "Okay then, that's settled."

"Awesome," Tony felt a smile splitting his face in half again. "So does that mean you actually want to try? Or am I just being stupid again?"

"You're never stupid, Tony, you hear me? I'd call it goofy. One more thing, though."

"Okay, shoot."

"You didn't ask me."

"Ask you what?" Tony replied confused, having no clue where Gibbs was getting at.

"Asked me, whether I was okay with your being a guy."

"Well, I… just figured, you know…" Tony trailed off as he saw the slight smirk appear on the other man's face. "Wait."

Tony stared at him curiously, suddenly remembering that he did find it rather strange that Jethro had reacted so relaxed back then Tony had told him where those hickeys were coming from. And hadn't it been kind of odd that he had known where that club was, when he had dropped him off? But it s_urely_ couldn't be what he was thinking it was? Right?

He looked at him again and that smirk had broadened now as Tony felt his eyes widen. "You have before?" he finally stammered.

"Couple times."

Tony let out a laugh and shook his head, still not believing it. How could Gibbs have been… like that all that time and he had never – never! – known. Hell, he hadn't even suspected. He tried to think about anything that would have indicated that Gibbs played for both teams but couldn't come up with anything at all. Never once had he caught him looking at a guy a second too long, never once had he mentioned anything. He shook his head again and sighed. If he had only known that a couple of weeks before, he wouldn't have had to go through all of that crap. Telling him about his feelings would have been so much easier, wouldn't it? But then again, Tony had always had the tendency to freak out about stuff like that and that voice inside his head was laughing at him now, telling him that he wouldn't have told him anyway.

"Shock you that much now?"

"Shock is not exactly the right word," Tony slowly replied. "Wow, I mean… I'm… floored. I never would have assumed you… right, never assume anything."

"Yup," Jethro just replied, still smirking at him.

"So, uh," Tony stuttered trying to form a sentence that would actually make sense (also, why was this so surprising? Shouldn't he have been more surprised that Jethro actually wanted him? That he actually wanted to be with him? He really _was_ getting stranger by the day after all, huh?). "I… uh… have you been, you know, serious with a guy before?"

Jethro tilted his head ever so slightly to his right side now and gave him a fully grown smile this time, making Tony's stomach all fuzzy again all of a sudden.

"No. To be honest, I have never even considered the possibility."

"That's why you needed time before?" Tony probed, finally able to think straight (or un-straight actually) again.

"Yeah, guess so," Jethro shrugged before he added. "You have a problem with that?"

"What? No, of course not," Tony replied indignantly. "I'm just… surprised, I guess. Will make some things easier, though."

"Oh yeah? Like what?" That smirk was back on the older man's face and Tony felt himself relax again as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah, well, you know," Tony replied, feeling a grin spread on his face. "Can't hurt to have someone… experienced in that area, right?"

Jethro just snorted and increased the pressure on Tony's hand again. "So, we're really doing this?"

"Like I said, I'm all in and I'm sure that we'll work out all the other stuff, too. How hard can it be, right?"

"Yeah, right. You've no idea," Jethro grinned at him.

"Can I ask for something, though?"

Gibbs nodded once again, that ridiculously sweet smile still on his face (wait, had he just really thought of sweet? This was Gibbs for heaven's sake. He wasn't sweet! Sexy, hot maybe, not sweet.).

"Can we take it slow? As much that I really want this… and I mean all of this," he gestured towards Gibbs' body. "I don't want to mess it up by going too fast. Does that make sense?"

"It does and yeah, we can, too. We can take all the time you need. Besides," Jethro continued, a mischievous grin on his lips. "We can't do anything too strenuous anyway, you being invalid and stuff."

"I'm not an invalid," Tony said, poking Jethro's chest with his good arm (and no, he absolutely _did not _wince as a sharp pain erupted in his other shoulder). "I'm just temporarily not… on top level."

"Sure, sure."

"Are you making fun of me, Jethro?" Tony asked, rolling the r in the other man's name just to tease him.

"Would never dare." Again, that damn smile and that goddamn fuzzy feeling in his stomach. "So how slow exactly do you want to go? First base? Second base?"

"Define first base," Tony grinned as he let his hand sink down onto Jethro's right thigh.

"Well, first base would be holding hands, right? But we already do that, huh?"

"Second base it is, then," Tony replied, smiling broadly at him as he almost unconsciously inched closer towards the other man.

"Ya think?" Jethro asked and Tony almost laughed out loud at that because, seriously, that sentence was so utterly familiar that he wondered for a moment how he could have thought that this would destroy anything between Gibbs – Jethro – and him.

"Yeah, pretty sure about that."

Jethro gave him another smile before he leaned into him with Tony mirroring his action. Their lips met again and this time he was 100 percent sure there had to be butterflies swirling around somewhere inside of him. It was almost shy at first, a gentle and lingering touch of their lips as if they were both hesitating, as if they both wanted to take the time to memorize that feeling before they would break away again. Tony didn't exactly know how long they stayed like that before he could feel Jethro's tongue tentatively licking his lips, begging for entrance and Tony did him the favor, sliding his lips apart. They battled for dominance for a while with neither of them winning or losing before Gibbs almost reluctantly backed away, the smile never leaving his face.

"Second base's good. Really good."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be great! xD_


	13. A Move Or Two

_A/N: Aaaand once again, thank you so much for your awesome reviews! :) I love every single one of them to pieces, so keep them coming, please! :)  
>Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS, Bullitt or the quote from Star Wars.<em>

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Thirteen: A Move Or Two<span>**

"So what do you want to do now?" Jethro asked after a while.

"Honestly? I have no clue. I'm not exactly good at… all of this."

Jethro snorted and nodded curtly before he quickly checked his watch. "Time for dinner? What did you have planned with all your groceries there?"

"Lasagna probably. Comfort food," he grinned at him, slowly but steady feeling more comfortable.

"Let me help you with that?" Jethro suggested and Tony realized with a start that it was actually phrased like a question and not one of the usual orders.

"If you want to. Won't tell you the secret DiNozzo formula though."

"I'm an investigator, Tony. I'll find out."

"You wouldn't dare," Tony flashed him a smile as he got up. "It's been a secret for generations of fine DiNozzo men and women. No chance we're gonna give it up to the first that comes along."

"Right," Jethro smirked placing a kiss on his cheek. "So where do we start?"

"You can start chopping the tomatoes."

"On it, Boss."

-x-

A while later with Tony - of course – spilling the DiNozzo secret after all (but well, when was Gibbs going to cook lasagna anyway, so what was the damage, really?), they were sitting on Tony's comfy couch, both of their feet up on the coffee table, trying to figure out what movie to watch.

"How can you turn down everything I'm offering?" Tony complained playfully. "You don't even know ten percent of them."

"Don't underestimate me," Gibbs smirked, giving him a head slap that was more a soft caress, really. "I've seen a movie or two in my day."

"Yeah, the emphasis on two here."

Another slap placed upside his head and Tony had had enough. He leaned in a bit closer, his lips nearly touching Jethro's ear (and he didn't really know where his cojones suddenly came from but he had rarely ever seen Gibbs joking, so he might as well be a bit of a daredevil) as he whispered.

"You really want to argue with me about movies, Jethro? I don't want to gloat but you're so going to you lose this one."

He felt a slight shiver coming from Gibbs and Tony briefly wondered if it was too cold in his apartment before he realized that he hadn't only _nearly_ touched his ear with his lips but had _actually_ touched it. Did he really have that effect on the other guy? And if so, why in the world did he only realize it now? He felt something odd spread in his stomach again (and he still refused to call it those goddamn butterflies) and he stayed right where he was for a few more moments, simply savoring in the feeling.

"Okay then," Jethro finally replied strangely enough only above a whisper (and not -Tony realized with some satisfaction - moving away from him after all). "Pick one but none that's too strange, got it?"

"No Quentin Tarantino then, got it," Tony replied, grudgingly getting up now to walk over to the shelves that held his many DVDs.

He finally settled on _Bullitt_ because there was nothing cooler out there than Steve McQueen and his Mustang anyway and he was almost sure that Gibbs would be able to enjoy that one. He, himself, was going to enjoy it for sure but not as much because of the movie but due to the fact that Jethro (and it was still hard for him to actually think of him as that and not the familiar Gibbs) was here watching it with him.

A couple of minutes later, though, he couldn't help but notice that he wasn't able to follow the movie at all. There suddenly was a weird kind of tension in the air and all he could concentrate on was the fact that Gibbs was just so close to him and yet not touching. He could smell the faint scent of sawdust and Old Spice and even coffee and it all somehow was messing with his head – hard.

He was still trying to fix the chaos that was his mind as he felt Jethro look at him and he reluctantly turned around to face him, trying desperately to hide his inner turmoil. And where exactly had the being comfortable part of this gone to all of a sudden?

"Relax," Jethro just said, giving him one of his trademark half-smiles but it was lost on Tony for the moment.

"Can't," he pressed out.

"Why?" the older man asked, fully turning towards him now, seriousness plastered all over his face. "Rethinking this?"

"What? No," Tony hastened to say, rubbing a hand over his face before he continued. "It's nothing like that. It's just… I don't even know. I'm nervous, I think."

"Okay," Jethro just replied, a smile creeping up on him again. "What is it exactly that's making you nervous?"

Tony shrugged and tried to make eye contact again, knowing that whatever this was needed some honesty. "Whenever I thought about this… thing before, I had never considered the possibility that you were… experienced, you know. I thought we'd have to work out this stuff together. But now I'm here and I have no clue what I'm supposed to do, you know. I know it sounds stupid."

"No, it doesn't," Jethro replied calmly and locked his eyes into Tony's green ones, causing the younger man to feel his insecurities sliding away a tiny little bit. "I get it, Tony. But I can't change that and like I said, I'm totally fine doing this at your pace. No pressure here."

"But what if," Tony replied, looking away from him and instead found interest in his feet. "What if I suck at this?"

He heard Jethro sigh next to him but refused to look away from the ground now, his heart suddenly picking up pace. This was it, wasn't it? This was when Jethro would realize that Tony was a stupid fool, that he didn't want him. And seriously, he couldn't even blame him. Why in the world would he say stuff like that only a few hours after they had finally admitted their… feelings for each other? But he knew that he would have said stuff like that sooner or later anyway. And wasn't it kind of better to voice his concerns at the very beginning than to fall even deeper into this thing? Probably, yes. But he knew that it was the truth. Ever since Gibbs had told him that he had been with guys before, his insecurity from all those previous weeks had boiled up again and it would have driven him crazy if he hadn't voiced it. But, really, what if he really did suck at being with a man? What if Jethro would get tired of his silly jokes and movie references and the being-with-him?

"Tony, look at me," Jethro's soft voice cut through his thoughts and as the younger man shook his head, he felt Gibbs' index finger suddenly under his chin, cautiously raising it, so that he had no choice but to look at him after all. "Listen closely because I'm only going to say this once, okay?"

Tony nodded and finally made eye contact again and was momentarily blown away by the sincerity that he found in Jethro's eyes. He gulped audibly and waited for whatever Gibbs was going to say that would _surely_ crush him to pieces – one way or another.

"You won't suck at this. I know you won't. Tony DiNozzo loves sex, remember? And I'm sure you'll realize soon enough that it's not the gender that counts but the person does. And again, not pressuring you into anything. And if it's not the sex that is bothering you, I'm as new to this as you are. But like you said before, we know each other pretty well, know what ticks us off, right? I never had a relationship that was based on ten years of friendship and I know that that's going to work in favor for us, okay?"

"And you're sure about this?" Tony asked, his voice strangely strangled, even it was nothing more than a whisper now.

Jethro tilted his head ever so slightly now, giving him a half-smile again but didn't answer. Instead, he leaned into him a bit until his lips softly brushed against Tony's. Tentative, not pushing anything. Tony felt himself relax instantly and didn't even know why. But he knew one thing, this actually _did _feel right and if this was how Gibbs was like all the time, he'd be happy to brush away his insecurities for a while, knowing that they would disappear with time if the other man kept on saying the right things at the right time like this…

Tony finally kissed him back with enthusiasm. He felt his eyes flutter close before he slowly let his lips slide apart and softly sucked at the other man's upper lip, eliciting a low groan from Jethro. Encouraged and suddenly feeling better than he had in a long time, he brushed his tongue against the older man's ever so slightly. He felt him open his own lips now and their tongues met up soon enough. Tony felt a strange kind of pleasure cursing through his body all of sudden as he let out something that sounded suspiciously like a whimper but couldn't care less about it. The kiss started out slow but soon became somewhat passionate as Tony's good arm came up around Jethro's head, pulling him closer and the older man, not being a very patient person after all, brought his hand around Tony's back, sliding it up and down.

Tony didn't quite know how long they stayed like that, kissing each other, touching each other, feeling each other. All he knew was that he hadn't done stuff like that since high school, just sitting on his couch, making out without the goal of actually get the other one into bed. And he also realized with quite a start that he actually liked this – a lot. And Gibbs hadn't lied before either. He wasn't pressuring him at all, it almost felt like he was deliberately letting him take the lead, letting him set the boundaries, set the pace and Tony was grateful for that. This was apparently Jethro's way of showing him that he would let him figure everything out.

When they finally broke apart, both flushed, both grinning at each other like madmen, Tony couldn't help but feel relieved, couldn't help but realize that his stupid insecurities were, if not completely gone, but at least hidden from him for the moment.

"Wow," he finally said, causing Gibbs to chuckle ever so slightly.

"Yeah, that's what they all say."

Tony stared at him for a moment before he couldn't help himself anymore and burst out laughing. The tension between them gone all of sudden, Gibbs gave him a smile as big as Tony had never seen it before and that oddly enough sobered him up in mere seconds.

"Sorry for being such an idiot sometimes."

"You're not an idiot," Jethro shrugged, looking at him again. "You're just voicing your concerns and that's fine. So, we're okay, right?"

"Yeah, we are."

Another smile before they went back to watching the movie and Tony had to rewind it a whole forty minutes so that Gibbs would be able to keep track (Seriously, forty minutes? They really were like teenagers!). They had settled in comfortable silence again, their fingers interlaced, their shoulders touching and throwing each other a few glances now and then. It was almost at the end of the movie then a thought suddenly crossed Tony's mind and he turned ever so slightly to look at the older man again.

"How come you never told me?"

"Tell you what?" Jethro replied, averting his eyes from the screen.

"That you… you know, are interested in guys, too."

"Never came up," he shrugged.

"Oh you mean, nobody ever walked up to you and asked 'Hey, are you gay?'"

He let out a laugh at that before he looked at Tony with a serious expression on his face. "No, I mean… it just wasn't important and being a federal agent in the military doesn't exactly make it easy to confess stuff like that, even with Don't Ask, Don't Tell being officially over now."

"Okay, makes sense, I guess," Tony answered slowly, realizing that he hadn't thought about it like that before. "Were you ever planning to tell me or Abby or Ducky?"

"I honestly don't know. Maybe. I wouldn't have lied if it came up."

"Okay," Tony gave him a smile and squeezed his hand before he stared at Steve McQueen on the screen again.

"Speaking of Abby," Jethro said causing Tony look at him. "You're planning to tell her?"

"It's not like I have any other choice, really," Tony shrugged and chuckled ever so slightly. "She won't stop harassing me about it anyway. She's far too much in love with the idea of you and me to let it go. I swear she was more into the whole getting together thing than I was."

"I see," Jethro replied smirking before he strangely enough whispered. "Then why don't you tell her? I'm sure she's on pins and needles right now."

Tony placed a short kiss on his lips before he looked for his cell phone and dialed Abby's number. He was waiting for her to pick up her cell as he was suddenly able to hear Abby's black-metal-ringtone right outside his apartment, followed by a loud curse coming from the Goth. Confused, Tony looked at Jethro for a moment, who was actually laughing now before he got up to let her in.

"You knew she was out there the whole time?"

"Yup," Jethro just replied at the same time Tony opened the door.

"Eavesdropping, are we now?" he asked, trying to sound gruff and stern but failed miserably as she saw the big grin on Abby's face.

"Sorry, I honestly just came to check up on you because you haven't returned any of my calls and I was growing kind of worried, you know. But then I saw bossman's car right outside and I honestly didn't mean to interrupt anything but you know how my mind gets and I swear I just wanted to make sure he wasn't just about to kill you, so I just eavesdropped to be sure, he wasn't. But then I couldn't hear any signs of a struggle and well that kind of made me even more curious, so I decided to listen to your conversation then. Sorry?"

"You're so not sorry," Tony replied, giving her a smile despite himself.

"You know what, I really am not," she grinned. "What gave me away anyway?" she continued, looking at Gibbs.

"Nothing," Tony chimed in before the other man could answer. "You're just forgetting that he's omniscient."

Abby let out a laugh before she quickly made her way over to Gibbs and gave him a fierce hug before she did the same with Tony (breaking several ribs of his, even though he managed to spare his bad arm). She grinned at both of them after that before she surprisingly stated.

"I'm going to let you be. You know… _talking_ and stuff," she emphasized the 'talking' as if to make it clear that she expected them to do anything but.

She flashed them another smile and was already halfway out the door when she swirled around again. "Don't worry, I won't tell a soul about this. And just for the record, I'm so happy for you guys."

With that she was gone and Tony settled down on the couch again with Jethro almost immediately pulling one arm around his shoulders, careful not to touch the one that had been shot a few days previously.

"I'm omniscient now?"

"Aren't you?"

"Not quite. Just have exceptional hearing abilities."

"So do I," Tony replied, grinning. "And I still didn't hear her there."

"Yeah, well. You still have much to learn, my Young Padawan."

Tony stared at him before he shook his head and let out a laugh. "Seriously?"

"Like I told you, I've seen a movie or two in my day."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be rad xD_


	14. New Age

_A/N: This took me longer than I thought, the flu kinda caught up with me, so I'm posting this later than I thought I would. On the plus side, I'll have loads of free time next week, so the next chapter(s) should be up rather soon-ish :)  
>Thanks again for your reviews! Keep them coming ;)<em>

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Fourteen: New Age<span>**

As Tony strolled into work three days later with McGee, who had picked him up earlier, on his heels, the old DiNozzo was back. Or that was what Tony kept repeating to himself. Granted, the two weeks of desk work that lay ahead of him didn't really have him joyous but he was at least able to _do _stuff other than sitting at home, watching movie after movie, waiting for a specific person to call in or swing by after work. It wasn't like him at all to be like that but then again, it wasn't like him dating a guy, either. He was still a bit on the edge, still a bit afraid that he would wake up any second, realizing that it was only a dream. But every time he actually did wake up and that warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach was still there, he felt himself relax the tiniest of fractions and Tony was sure that in some time soon (approximately fifty years from now), he would actually believe that he had done it, that Gibbs was actually _there_.

It was only when he had already settled at his desk and was about to start his computer that he realized that Ziva and McGee (and only now did he catch up on the fact that the Probie had been rather quiet on the drive here but then again, Tony had talked quite a lot. But, well, it had been him who had been stuck at his apartment for days after all) were eyeing him suspiciously.

"What's up, Probies?" he finally asked and was slightly surprised that both of them stood up and approached him, looking around warily.

That was odd, especially when it came to Ziva because, seriously, wasn't she usually the one with the perfect ninja senses? They usually only failed her when Gibbs was standing right behind her, so what was it with the wariness? Wait… maybe she actually was afraid that he would catch her? He tilted his head slightly as if he would be able to look at her more closely that way. He briefly wondered if they were up to something and his insides clenched for a moment when he thought about the chance that he had already given himself away. Had he been smiling too much? Had he been too joyous about coming back to work? He subtly shook his head. No, that couldn't be it, he had only been here for a few moments, they surely couldn't already have caught up.

_Impossibile, no?_

"We were just wondering," McGee answered his earlier question, briefly squinting behind him. "If you… you know… uhm, Gibbs has been acting weird lately and I… I mean, Ziva and I, are wondering if you know anything about it?"

Tony felt his cheeks burn up and quickly looked down, busying himself with typing in his password before he answered.

"In case you haven't noticed, I haven't been here the last couple of days. So how am I supposed to know anything?"

"Well, you stayed at his place, yes?" Ziva asked and her voice was so matter-of-factly that Tony looked up again to meet her gaze.

"Yeah," he shrugged. "But I didn't notice anything being weird."

He saw McGee and Ziva's faces fall ever so slightly and he felt almost a bit guilty about lying to them like that – almost. But then he realized that he didn't even know what exactly they were talking about.

"Anyway," he asked as nonchalantly as he could manage. "What exactly is so weird?"

"We do not know exactly," Ziva answered quietly, "he just seems to be in a very good mood."

"Yeah?" Tony answered, desperately trying to hide his smile now as he looked down again, willing his cheeks to stop blushing.

"Yeah," McGee said now before he sighed, "and you know what that means, he's nicer to Ducky and Abby and meaner to the rest of us."

Tony let out a laugh at that as he shook his head, realizing that McGee was actually right about that and he wondered how he hadn't seen it before now. He composed his features, still trying to get rid of the fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach, before he looked at McGee again, plastering the most innocent smile on his face.

"Well, let's test the theory, shall we? I'll be the martyr for the team and be more annoying than usual. We'll see if he slaps me back into 2001, huh?"

Actually, Tony was curious about it for a whole different reason than his co-workers. He was interested in Gibbs' behavior at work all right but just because he wanted to test how far he could actually go before _Jethro_ would snap.

"Sounds good," Ziva smirked. "But that will not explain why he is in such a good mood."

"Well, I can't help you with that," Tony replied (y_eah, right_). "But my best guess would be a new boat or a new pissing off of Fornell."

"Wouldn't bet on that," McGee chimed in again. "I'm all for a new redhead."

Tony smiled at him, an idea forming in his head as he realized that this was the perfect opportunity to make the most of it after all.

"Don't think so," he replied, smirking slightly. "I think he's done with all those redheads."

"Fifty bucks on that?"

"You're on, Probie," Tony said as they shook hands (Tony awkwardly reaching out his left one at that).

It only occurred to him later, when both Ziva and McGee had settled back at their desks that he probably shouldn't mess with Tiny Tim like that after all. Because, well, if it hadn't been for Tim, he might not even have realized that he was having that thing for Jethro. In fact, shouldn't he somehow say thanks to him instead of mocking him? Was he really that bad a person?

He subtly shook his head, knowing that he probably just wanted to keep his private life exactly that – private. He also knew that it wasn't exactly like him to do so but this thing with Gibbs was different on so many levels that Tony felt encouraged to keep it different – on all levels, if that even made sense. He wanted to make it right this time, wanted to not fuck it up for once. And if messing with the Probies (which granted wasn't all _that_ bad) meant keeping this a secret for a little while longer, he would take it.

-x-

Just as he had started to wonder where Jethro was, Tony heard his footsteps coming down the stairs behind him and he resisted the urge to simply turn around and give the guy a smile because, well, that _might_ have been a _tad_ suspicious. So he trained his eyes on the screen in front of him, waiting for him to finally join them in the bullpen. With a start, he realized that he actually was curious about what kind of greeting he'd get from the guy…

Just to find out that Gibbs didn't as much as look at him as he barked. "Grab your gear, dead sailor in Alexandria."

Tony had already stood up (and not at all disappointed at the non-greeting, thank you very much) as he realized that he wasn't supposed to go to crime scenes, yet. He sank back into his chair, staring sullenly at Ziva who smirked at him, though rather sympathetically. He made a face at her before he realized that Gibbs had come to a halt in front of him, not quite smiling at him but not quite scowling either. Tony looked at him for a moment, trying to figure out what exactly the older man's expression was but couldn't figure it out. He finally settled on 'rather amused' before the older man started talking again, his voice its usual gruffly self.

"Go down to Abby's lab, help her process the evidence as soon as it gets in."

"Help Abby?" Tony asked, feeling the slight panic rising up to his throat.

"Yep," Gibbs just replied and turned around but not before smirking at him for a split of a second and Tony realized that Gibbs had actually looked _smug_ before.

Damn it.

As he slowly made his way down to Abby's lab, he couldn't help but sigh at the prospect of having to spend too much time with the Goth. Not that he didn't like it usually (he loved it actually) but he had successfully avoided her the last couple of days and had hoped that he didn't have to talk about it – the relationship with Gibbs – for a little while longer. It wasn't like he didn't want Abby to know or anything but he would have preferred basking in that kind of surreal glow of the newly found relationship with Gibbs and would have liked not to analyze it to pieces (and he was sure that Abby would want to do exactly that).

"Hey Abs," he said as he walked into her lab, turning down the volume of her stereo in the course.

"Oh hey, Tony," she beamed at him, giving him another ribs cracking hug. "Didn't know you were cleared for work already."

"Well, I'm not technically," he grinned slyly at her. "But I was going crazy at home, so I thought I might as well get some paper work done, right?"

"Gibbs knows about that?" Abby asked, her hands on her hips, scrutinizing him.

"No," Tony replied sarcastically. "I was wearing my invisibility cloak upstairs, so that he wouldn't see me."

"What did you do to persuade him to let you go back to work that early? No, you know what, I don't want to know."

Tony looked at her slightly confused, plastering a grin on his face for good measure, waiting for her to change her mind about that (and really, it was just a matter of time). And it only took her about two seconds to realize that, too.

"Wait, I actually do want to know."

"I haven't done anything," Tony said, raising his good arm in mock innocence. "Okay, I might have been a tiny little bit annoying about it but I swear, that's all."

"And Gibbs gave in just like that? And I'm supposed to believe that?"

"No, I mean, he didn't _just _give in but, you know, I used some pretty good arguments to highlight my point."

"Oh and those would be?" Abby smirked now and Tony could only imagine what pictures were showing up in front of her inner eye at the moment.

"Not what you think," he grinned. "I used w_ords_, you know. I'm pretty good at that if you haven't noticed."

"How boring!" Abby exclaimed as she sat down, a pout forming on her face.

"What? It's the truth, Abs."

"Hmph," she just made and turned to look at the screen of the computer in front of her before she continued. "So you're telling me, you've been talking? Really, only talking?"

"Yep."

"But," Abby started, looking at him again and Tony felt himself blush furiously (when had he become such a school girl anyway?). "You're Tony DiNozzo, the womanizer. How can you not have done anything except talking?"

Tony shrugged, smiling at her. "Maybe it's because he's not a woman."

"Okay then, you're the manizer or something. Doesn't change the fact you're usually not that retentive when it comes to stuff like that. Or wait! It's Gibbs, isn't it? He wants to wait, right?"

Tony tilted his head to look at her, thinking about how to answer that. In the end, he settled on the truth because, well, this was Abby after all, she would find out anyway, somehow, sometime.

"No, I do."

"Why?" Abby asked now and all the excitement seemed to have rushed out of her, only to be replaced by something that sounded suspiciously like worry. "You're not rethinking this, right?"

"Of course not," he gave her a small smile. "I just want to make it right, you know? And in case you haven't noticed, I haven't been with a man before so I just want to make sure that all of this is really... real before, you know, I'm diving in too deep."

"Sounds like rethinking to me," Abby replied, her green eyes slightly brighter than usual.

"No, believe me, Abby, I'm not. In fact, I haven't been surer about anything in a very long time. I just want to take it slow, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, softly squeezing his shoulder, seemingly convinced of his sincerity. "And Gibbs is okay with that? Just like that?"

"Yeah," Tony replied, unable to hide the smile on his face now. "He said he's fine with whatever pace I'm setting."

"Don't let him wait too long, though, you know how impatient he is."

"I know," Tony smiled again and found himself in another bear hug just as his cell phone started to ring.

He briefly squinted at the caller ID and tried to suppress an even broader smile.

"Checking up on me already?"

"Nope," came back the gruff response and Tony immediately knew that the other guy couldn't talk freely. "Check the dead Petty Officer's background. McGee is already sending you the information."

"Okay, I'm on it… Boss," Tony grinned, casting a quick glance at Abby, who seemed to be mesmerized by the phone call. "Take care out there," he added then, fully aware of the fact that Gibbs wouldn't tolerate it at work at all.

There was a brief silence on the other end and Tony wondered for a moment, whether he shouldn't have said it after all. He bit his lip and was about to apologize as the man on the other end of the line answered.

"I will. See you later."

With that the line went dead and Tony stared at the phone for a moment longer until he realized that he must look rather stupid with his mouth hanging open like that.

"What's wrong?" Abby inquired, smirking slightly.

"Nothing. He just… said goodbye before he hung up."

Abby let out a laugh. "You're so going to mellow him, I'm telling you. But now off to work, huh?"

"Yep, work," Tony replied distractedly, not quite able to wipe the smile off his face.

-x-

At the end of the day (with a satisfying open and shut case, it was suicide after all; a few brief glances from Gibbs that made him _still_ tingly inside and a few dodged glances from McGee and Ziva), Tony sat in Jethro's truck on their way home and didn't fail to notice the rather slow driving manner this evening.

"Are you not feeling well?" he finally asked into the comfortable silence.

"I'm fine," the older man replied, furrowing a brow. "Why?"

"You're driving within the speed limit, there's gotta be something wrong."

Jethro let out a snort at that, casting a quick glance at him before he directed his car into the parking lot of Tony's apartment.

"You want to come up?" Tony asked once they came to a halt, taking the other man's hand in his. "For a movie or something?"

"Yeah, sure," Jethro shrugged and got out the car.

Once comfortably seated on the couch, each of them a beer in their hands, Tony cleared his throat, trying to decide whether or not to actually ask the question that had been brooding right beneath the surface all day since he had been down in Abby's lab.

"I'm not asking too much of you, right?"

"What do you mean?" Jethro replied, furrowing a brow before he turned fully towards him.

"Well, you know. I'm not moving forwards too slowly, am I? Because I really want to make you feel comfortable, too, and not just myself."

"I know, Tony," and Gibbs actually smiled – _smiled!_ – now. "And don't start second guessing yourself just because Abby said something."

"How d'you…?" Tony started but was cut off.

"I know how she gets, Tony. I'm fine with whatever you want, okay? That is if you're not actually rethinking this?"

"No. Of course not," Tony hastened to reply. "I really like this and that's why I'm just trying to make sure you're really liking this, too."

"Wouldn't be here if I didn't."

Tony flashed him a brilliant smile before he leaned into the other man and kissed him properly for the first time that day. It was a slow and lazy kiss, which went on for what seemed like hours and yet oddly enough like seconds at the same time. It turned into a more passionate one a little later, their tongues slick against each other, their mouths open, their hands and arms roaming over each other's back. As they finally broke apart for more than a few seconds and looked into each other's eyes, Tony's determination to take it slow almost slid away – almost. Granted, his jeans were somewhat tighter than before, his mind wouldn't shut up about wondering what the other man looked like naked and his eyes wanted to avert themselves from the other man's, just to check whether he had the same effect on Jethro than the other way around but exactly at that moment, he felt the older man's hand on his shoulder and he concentrated on the moment again and he realized while he actually was, well, horny like hell, he really _did_ want to wait.

"I for one am really liking this," Jethro finally said, grinning at him ever so slightly and Tony felt himself getting all tingly inside again.

"Me, too," he gave him another smile (and he was almost sure, he'd have sore muscles in his cheeks tomorrow from all the smiling). "Hey, you want to stay the night? Just sleeping, I mean?"

"Sure," Gibbs just replied, giving him another fully grown smile before he leaned in again, capturing Tony's lips.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Don't worry, things are going to start moving faster with the next chapter xD  
>Reviews would be awesome! :)<em>


	15. Presents

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews! :) And just as promised, things are moving forwards in this chapter ;) Hope you like it xD_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Fifteen: Presents<span>**

"Come on, Gibbs, you have to come, too. All of us are going to be there!" Abby said, standing in the middle of the bullpen a week later, her hand on her hips.

Tony looked up now with some amusement, unable to hold back the curiosity how Gibbs would find a way out of this one. He saw the other man sigh and roll his eyes in a clearly exaggerated fashion and Tony grinned ever so slightly.

"Yeah, come on, Gibbs. It's my birthday," he threw in for good measure, earning himself a withering stare from the bossman, which he returned with another grin.

"He's right, Gibbs," Abby said, still looking impatiently at him. "Besides, his arm's finally okay again. We _have _to celebrate that."

"Yep, with me raising a few glasses with said arm," Tony said, his grin getting wider by the second because he was almost able to see Gibbs' determination not to go to the bar with them and the rest of the team crumble.

"Your birthday's not until tomorrow, DiNozzo," the boss said but Tony didn't miss the soft smile that was tugging at the corners of the other man's mouth now.

"Come on, one drink, Gibbs," Ziva suddenly and unexpectedly joined their conversation. "It is Friday and we are not on call."

"Fine, I'm going."

"Yay," Abby all but squealed before she turned around, winked at Tony and went back downstairs to her lab.

Tony subtly shook his head, wondering how on earth the Goth was always able to persuade Gibbs like that. He quickly glanced at his… whatever it was, that Jethro was to him and was met with rather amused looking blue eyes. Gibbs winked – w_inked!_ – at him before he averted his glance to find interest in the screen in front of him. Tony stared at him for a few moments longer, suddenly feeling strangely happy and elated. He hadn't thought much about his birthday before because, well, it was a day as every other after all and it had only been when Abby had asked whether he wanted to go out with her and the others, that he had actually remembered that it was his birthday. And now with Gibbs coming, too… it was going to be pretty awesome, right? Tony didn't expect any presents or anything but still, it was the first birthday in what felt like forever that he had actually someone with him, had actually someone to go to bed with that day, had just someone there with him, so that he wouldn't have to wake up alone.

He quickly opened his email and typed a short message to Gibbs.

_Thanks. Gonna pick you up at nine. Wear something nice._

Chuckling soundlessly, he looked back at Gibbs again, who was currently furrowing a brow and shot a quick glance towards him and then back at the screen before he clicked on what surely was the email alert. For a brief moment, Tony wondered when the other man had finally learned to correctly operate emailing but maybe the guy had always been able to do it and had only played dumb all this time. Not a bad tactic, either, Tony thought, as it gave McGee more work and more reasons to show his techie genius. Anyway, it wasn't long until his own email alert thingy popped up and Tony smiled as he realized that Jethro had actually answered.

_Okay but I'm going to wear whatever I like._

Tony chuckled again, earning himself a curious look from Ziva but he just shrugged at her before he glanced at Gibbs again and nodded once, receiving a small smile from the other man and really, that was all he could have hoped for.

-x-

"4…3…2…1… Happy Birthday, Tony!" Abby squealed at midnight, a glass of champagne in one hand, the other arm slung around Tony, who had trouble not to spill his beer.

They had been sitting at their usual bar in one of the booths as far away from the dance floor as possible. Tony had a slight buzz going on by now, not really drunk yet but not quite sober either and had enjoyed the hell out of himself, to be honest. The conversations had flown freely and even Gibbs seemed like he was having a good time, at least he was smiling that half-smile of his quite often and from time to time his thigh would touch Tony's and that fact alone left him strangely happy inside again.

"All the best," Ziva said and oddly enough hugged him, too.

"Thanks," Tony just nodded before he shook hands with McGee and Jimmy and set down next to Gibbs again, who was merely looking at him before he almost softly patted his shoulder.

"Have a good one," he then said and Tony nodded before he leaned into him and whispered.

"Gonna be even better if you stayed the night at my apartment."

He heard Gibbs snort as he backed away and then saw him nod curtly. Tony then turned away from him in order not to draw too much attention to them at the same time that Abby placed two shots of tequila in front of him and motioned him to drink them. Never one to turn down free booze, he downed them before he grabbed her by the hand and all but dragged her onto the dance floor.

"You're having fun?" Abby shouted over the blaring music.

"Oh yes. Couldn't ask for more," Tony answered, laughing. "My friends are here, I'm slightly drunk and will be going home with an awesome guy later."

"You are?" Abby giggled. "Going to move things up a bit?"

"None of your business, my lady," Tony just replied, swirling her around so that he was facing the booth were the others were still sitting.

Ziva, Jimmy and McGee were engrossed in conversation but Jethro was staring right back at him, the slight smile back on his face. Tony winked at him and gave him his best smile. He knew that they were probably painfully obvious and had been the whole evening with the two of them practically not leaving each other's side but right at that moment he couldn't care less. He was having fun with the team, his friends and with Jethro… and that was really all he needed, especially after those weeks spent in uncertainty and denial and god knows what else. Another smile and Abby almost forcefully made him face her again.

"Stop drooling and start dancing, Mister."

-x-

As soon as he had handed his keys to Gibbs and had taken seat on the passenger seat, Tony couldn't help but put his hand on Jethro's right thigh, causing the other man to pause trying to start the engine. Instead, he leaned over to him to place a lingering kiss on his lips. Tony kissed him back enthusiastically but the older man retreated far too soon for his taste and started the engine of Tony's car after all.

"Too many people here," he just said as he drove out the parking lot and onto the streets.

Tony placed his hand back on his thigh and merely watched the other guy for the next few minutes (and Gibbs was driving within the speed limit a_gain_), pondering how drunk he actually was and whether or not he actually did want things to move up a bit as Abby had put it so delicately. He squeezed Jethro's thigh again and the other man turned ever so slightly to look at him, furrowing a brow.

"You know," Tony ended the comfortable silence. "I had a really good time tonight. And I'm really glad you came, too. Made all the difference."

"Yeah?" Jethro replied, smirking ever so slightly. "How so?"

"I don't know," Tony shrugged. "If you wouldn't have been there, I surely couldn't have stopped thinking of what you were doing at the moment, if I shouldn't have stayed in, too, watching you build a boat or a movie or stuff. You know."

"Okay. I had fun, too."

"Did you, now?"

"You were there."

"And I'm fun?" Tony asked, laughing.

"Yup and drunk, too."

"I'm not that drunk, Boss. I mean, Jethro. I mean, I still know what I'm doing."

"And what would that be?" the older man asked, clearly amused by now as he pulled over into the parking lot of Tony's apartment complex.

"You," Tony answered, not even sure himself if he was joking now or not.

"Oh, you _are_ drunk," Gibbs said now, laughing before he quickly got out of the car and before Tony had even had his hand on the handle, the other man had opened the door, reaching out a hand which Tony took with a smile.

"Very gentleman-ly tonight, are we?"

"Well, it's your birthday, right? Don't get used to it."

"Okay, Boss," Tony said before he placed a kiss on Jethro's lips.

A few minutes later, up in Tony's apartment, Tony was still smiling like an idiot. He wasn't quite sure what exactly he wanted to do now, all he knew was that he felt strangely elated and wouldn't be able to sleep for quite some time anyway, so he fumbled a bit with his stereo until he found the song he was looking for, a rather slow jazz number. He turned around to look at Jethro, who was just shrugging out of his coat. Tony tilted his head now, staring at him with puppy eyes, a pout on his lips.

"You owe me a birthday dance."

"I don't dance, Tony," Jethro replied not looking at him and was about to sit down on the couch when Tony spoke up again, unwilling to let it go that easily.

"Come on! Only one dance, I promise not to tell anyone. Pretty please?"

Gibbs snorted once before he finally looked at him and Tony tried his very best to look at him like Abby always did because, well, she was the one who could make him do anything she wanted. So why should it not work with him, too?

Jethro stared at him for a moment before he sighed once and then made his way over to where Tony was standing, his arms spread widely (after all, he had to take advantage of the fact that he was able to do that again, right?).

"One dance," Jethro said then, when he had already put his arms around Tony waist.

"One dance," Tony repeated, almost whispering.

They revolved around each other, looking into each other's eyes and for a moment Tony actually wondered when something had last felt that intimate. He couldn't come up with anything, though, but didn't exactly mind. He knew, though, that he would probably not get many moments like this again. Just the two of them in total sync and nothing else mattering.

"For someone who doesn't dance, you're a damn good dancer," he finally said when the song had ended.

Jethro didn't let go of him, though and that fact alone had Tony feeling oddly relieved as the other man just kept on holding on to him.

"Used to do this a lot," Jethro replied and for once averted his eyes from Tony's and instead stared at something behind his back.

"Shannon?" Tony softly asked, knowing that Gibbs would probably shut down in a few seconds like he always did when someone mentioned the love of his life.

"Hmm," Jethro answered and Tony almost unconsciously drew him even closer to him and pressed his cheek against the other man's ever so slightly.

"What kind of music did she like?"

"I don't know," Jethro answered almost reluctantly and still Tony felt the ping of happiness somewhere inside of him again as he realized that Jethro was, in fact, not shutting down after all. "Jazz, just like you. And Led Zeppelin."

"She had good taste."

Tony could feel him smile now against his cheek and couldn't help but smile, too, before he tilted his head ever so slightly and was surprised when Jethro looked at him for a split of a second before his lips crushed down on Tony's. Tony let out a startled moan but recovered soon enough as he cupped one hand behind Jethro's neck in order to deepen their kiss even more now and the other man didn't refuse, au contraire, his hands were roaming Tony's back now, slowly and softly trailing up and down, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Tony shivered ever so slightly as his own hands found their way to Gibbs' back now, too. Mirroring his actions, never breaking their kiss, never stopping to revolve around each other. Tony felt his pulse pick up speed as he felt Jethro's hand cup his ass as he drew him, if possible, even closer. With actual surprise, Tony realized that he was already hard and judging by the other man's reaction when they touched, he had the same effect on him, too.

"Move this to the bedroom?" Jethro finally asked in between two kisses, which had gotten sloppier as time had gone by.

Tony remained silent for a moment, trying to process whether or not this was actually happening, trying to figure out if he wasn't actually too drunk to do this but when Jethro softly bit down on the flesh where his neck connected with his shoulder, he let out a moan again and threw all caution to the winds. He nodded.

"Okay," Jethro whispered and as if he was sensing Tony's worries, added. "Don't worry. I'll just do whatever you want, okay?"

Again, Tony nodded before he caught the other man's lips again and together they stumbled towards his bedroom, almost tripping over each other's feet a couple of times. Tony felt the back of his knees hit his bed before he all but fell back onto it and it didn't even take a second before Jethro was on top of him, his hand's supporting most of his weight as he kissed his way down Tony's jaw line. His breath hitched in his throat as Jethro went further along, opening the buttons of his shirt with one hand and kissed his path further down. Unable to do anything else (not that his brain was capable of much anyway at the moment), Tony ran his fingers through Jethro's hair, trying almost desperately to get his breathing and heartbeat under control. At this rate, he wouldn't last long, not long at all.

He had closed his eyes already by the time his belt made a high, faint tinkling sound, the button was loosened and the zipper of his jeans followed not long afterwards. He felt Jethro kissing down his stomach, while he stripped him down to his boxers now. Tony shifted ever so slightly, grabbing him by the collar of his polo-shirt and met his lips in a hungry kiss. He helped Jethro get rid of his polo and under-shirt and closed his eyes again as he felt him cupping him through his boxers.

"Jethro," Tony just groaned and he felt him nodding more than he actually saw it before the older man's hands found their way under the waistband of his underwear and stroked him almost softly.

He was almost painfully hard by now and couldn't remember the last time when he had felt that way, either. He shifted a bit as Jethro got rid of his boxers now. The other man started pumping up and down his shaft, his thumb occasionally grazing over his head. He felt him move down closer to his cock and only moments later, his wet, warm tongue slid up along his raging hard-on.

Tony let out a surprised sound that sounded suspiciously like a whimper but he was far away from caring. He looked down again and saw Jethro smirk at him ever so slightly before he slid his tongue up and down, causing Tony to squirm again. Apparently encouraged by that, Jethro wrapped his lips around the head and sucked on it as his hand moved up and down faster. Tony stifled another moan as his own hands came down to the older man's head, softly stroking his hair there. He sped up his actions now, sucking harder, his hand moving faster, his tongue occasionally swirling around his cock. Tony closed his eyes and groaned, feeling the heat radiating from himself and Jethro's mouth. He tried hard not to thrust his hips up against his face and Jethro placed a hand on it now, suddenly swallowing all of him.

"Fuck," Tony groaned and felt his release building up already. "Jeth…ro… I'll…"

Gibbs paused for a second or two and Tony could feel him smile against him before he lowered his mouth back onto his throbbing cock and sucked and lapped at it. It was a matter of mere seconds until Tony came, Jethro's name on his lips. He was panting as he felt him milking him, sucking even harder now and Tony let his own head fall back onto cushions, desperately trying to hold on to something. He couldn't remember the last time he came that fast, that hard.

His breathing still wasn't back to normal, when he felt Jethro move and he finally opened his eyes again, only to be met with a brilliant smile. Jethro leaned down then, capturing Tony's lips and he kissed him back lazily, tasting himself in his mouth.

"That was… wow," he finally said, still panting.

"Good to hear that," Jethro replied and there was that smirk again. "Told you, it'd be good."

"And as you're omniscient, I should have known, huh?" Tony joked and not unexpectedly received a soft head slap for that.

Jethro lay down on the bed now, pulling his arm around him and drew him closer until Tony's head was resting on his chest. It was only then, that Tony realized that the other man was still wearing his jeans and that he should probably return the favor. He still felt a bit light-headed from their earlier activities and the alcohol had his brain cells slowed down and he was feeling drowsy a bit, too. But was all of that really important? Tony decided that no, in fact, it wasn't and wanted to move but couldn't as he was restrained by an arm that held him firmly in place.

"You don't need to," Jethro said now, softly almost, and as if he had read his thoughts. "We've got all the time in world for that. Go to sleep."

"You sure?" Tony asked, looking up at him and saw him smiling back at him.

"Yeah. Consider it your birthday present."

Tony laughed, suddenly feeling a lot more comfortable and a lot sleepier, too, come to think about it.

"Best," he kissed Jethro's chest. "Present," he kissed his neck. "Ever."

He pressed a soft kiss onto the other man's lips before he laid his head back on his chest again, closing his eyes and passed out within seconds, listening to the older man's soothing heartbeat right beneath him.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thoughts? Complaints? Reviews would be great!_


	16. Hooked

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews, hope you like this chapter, too!_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Sixteen: Hooked<span>**

Tony's mind slowly swam into consciousness the next morning, only vaguely aware that Jethro's body was draped over his own. Tony let out a sigh as he realized that he could get used to that, could get used to feeling Jethro's heartbeat first thing in the morning, could get used to the warm body next to (or rather over) him. He let out another sigh and stirred ever so slightly, trying to snuggle into the other man even more now.

"Hmm," Jethro hummed then and Tony finally cracked open his eyes, just to look right back into the other man's blue ones.

"Morning," he mumbled, still a bit groggy and not yet decided if he really wanted to wake up fully and thus put an end to that strange and yet great morning bliss.

"Morning Birthday-Boy," Jethro said, slowly moving away from him before he kissed his temple. "Ready for your present?"

"I thought I've already gotten my present this year," Tony said and turned to look at him, inwardly pushing away the thoughts about the night before in order not to get too excited.

"That wasn't exactly planned," Jethro laughed now, running his hand through his hair before he turned around to get out of bed but Tony grabbed his arm just in time.

"Can't we stay in bed a little while longer?"

"Guess we can," Jethro replied, smiling at him as he drew Tony closer so that his head was lying on the older man's chest again.

"So, what is it?"

"What's what?" Jethro asked teasingly.

"The plan… my present."

"It's a surprise. You'll see."

"Okay, then I do want to get up now, so that you can give it to me," Tony replied, looking up into Jethro's smirking face.

"Nope. It's not the time now anyway. Have a little patience."

"Says the impatience in person," Tony retorted and was already expecting a head slap but instead his head was angled up by Jethro's index finger under his chin and a soft kiss was placed upon his lips.

They remained silent a little while after that with Tony simply listening to the steady heartbeat underneath him, simply savoring in the other man's warmth.

"You know, this is nice," Jethro finally broke the silence and Tony nodded.

"Very. Could get used to that."

"You better."

"Am I stuck with you now?" Tony asked and this time the head slap actually came.

"Only if you want to be."

"Oh, I do. Especially, if you tell me what my present is."

Jethro just snorted and pulled an arm around him to kiss him tenderly again.

"You'll see."

-x-

A couple of hours, an awesome breakfast slash lunch and a shower later, Tony was impatiently pacing around in his apartment. Jethro had left him there about an hour previously in order to prepare some stuff as he had phrased it. Tony couldn't help but feel like a little kid on Christmas morning, excited about what Santa would bring him. He hadn't expected any presents or anything. Hell, he wouldn't even have been disappointed if he hadn't gotten anything. Birthdays just weren't such a big deal for him. And yet, he couldn't help himself. Alone the prospect of getting something from the other man had him on the edge and he was, well, curious to say the least. He was sure that he would like it whatever it was but that didn't mean that his mind didn't show him possibility after possibility, one more absurd than the one before.

He was risen from his inner queries when his cell phone started to vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. Quickly squinting at the caller ID, he answered.

"Hey Jethro."

"Come down, I'm in your parking lot."

"On my way, Boss."

He grabbed his keys and his leather jacket and all but ran down the stairs and out the apartment building, where he came to a sudden halt when his eyes fell upon Jethro or rather fell upon what the guy was leaning against. No, that couldn't possibly be…

"That's a '68 Mustang GT 390 Fastback."

"Yep," Jethro just replied smiling at him. "Like it?"

"Are you kidding? I love it! That's _Bullitt_, that's Steve McQueen, Gibbs. I've been dreaming to get my hands on such a baby for years. Where did you find it?"

"Belongs to a friend of mine. He offered it for a spin."

"Wow," Tony just said, while he slowly walked around the dark green car to look at it from every angle possible.

"So you just want to look at it or do you want to drive it?"

"Can I?" Tony looked at Jethro now, feeling his own eyes widen at the prospect.

"Yeah," he just replied and tossed him the keys, already opening the door to the passenger seat before he paused and looked at him. "Come on, we don't have all day."

Tony looked at the car a little while longer and then at the keys in his hand. He knew he shouldn't feel so happy about a damn car but well, this had been the dream of his teenage self and now he had it fulfilled, even if it was for just a spin. But that would _so_ do. He climbed into the car now and gave Gibbs a kiss before he started the engine.

"Did you know that during that car chase in _Bullitt_ Steve McQueen shifted up a gear sixteen times but never once down? As you can see this baby here got only four gears, though."

Gibbs remained silent and Tony chanced a look at him to see him staring right back at him, a slight smirk on his face.

"Right, got it. More driving, less movie references."

-x-

"Take a left there," Gibbs instructed a good three hours later.

They had been driving around with no direction and no need thereof for the last hours and Tony blissfully realized that this was probably as good as it could get. Driving that car was everything he had ever hoped it would be. He loved it but he was even more in love with the thought that Gibbs - Jethro – was there with him, chit chatting (and yep, he was actually capable of doing so) and clearly enjoying what they had been doing because, seriously, otherwise those goddamn sweet (yes, there simply wasn't another way to describe it) smiles wouldn't have shown up quite that often on the other man's face.

"Where are we going?" Tony asked, turning left anyhow.

"You'll see when we get there."

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, don't tell me there's another surprise somewhere."

"It's nothing big. Just thought you might like this," Jethro said and Tony saw him shrug from the corner of his eyes.

"What is it, then?"

Jethro remained silent, just pointed at something straight ahead and that was when Tony realized that they were on their way to a drive-in movie theater. He had been there once, ages ago, and had always meant to go again but their crazy work hours had deterred him from that ever since.

"You're seriously going to sit with me through a movie, in this car?"

"Yeah," Jethro laughed. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because I get _slightly_ annoying when watching a movie," Tony replied and he meant it, too, as there was hardly anyone (except for Abby that was) who loved to watch movies with him.

"No, you don't. You're references are sometimes a bit… you know. But you don't talk as much while watching one, I love watching you watch a movie."

Tony stared at him and he was sure he was looking exactly like the often-cited deer in the headlights.

"What?" Jethro inquired. "No one ever tell you that you're completely absorbed in the movie, watching it with so much concentration that you usually only show when you're about to crack a case."

"We haven't watched that many movies together, Jethro. When the hell did you come to that conclusion?"

Jethro just shrugged and then nodded his head towards the drive-in cinema.

"Come on, movie will start in a couple of minutes."

"What are we watching anyway?" Tony asked now, still a bit flabbergasted for reasons even unknown to himself but something was tugging at his insides all of a sudden and while it wasn't a particular bad feeling, he didn't know what to do with it, so he quickly shoved it away for the moment.

"_Casablanca_," Jethro answered and oddly enough flushed ever so slightly (or actually it was only his ears that had started to turn pink again). "Sorry about that but there wasn't really anything else."

"Are you kidding, I love C_asablanca_. Remember when we fooled that kid with it during an interrogation? I was very proud of you to identify my fake scene."

"Watch it," Jethro replied but the kiss that Tony got in return had no edge to it, instead it was actually soft. "I have seen more movies than you might think."

"However, have you ever solved a case with one? Like I did with that kid back at that school, when I saved the day with those earlier recordings just like in _Speed_? That was really awesome," Tony replied, grinning at him as he parked the car.

"I remember," Jethro gave him a smile. "But I did solve one, too. Remember the case on the Air Force One?"

"How could I forget?" Tony replied, still smiling. "That's when we met Kate."

They fell silent after that and Tony's heart felt just a little bit heavier than before. They rarely ever talked about Kate and he wasn't even sure why that was. He knew that neither of them was completely over her death, would probably never be and they weren't exactly known to talk about personal stuff to begin with. Tony vaguely remembered eating lots of fast food and having lots of sex to try to forget about her but, of course, that hadn't worked all that well. He had moved on eventually but even now, he missed their banter terribly.

"I still miss her sometimes," he finally said and felt Jethro's hand grab his right one.

"I know. Me, too," the other man replied quietly and seemed like he wanted to add something to that but right at that moment, the big screen in front of them came to life.

Giving him a soft kiss and never letting go of his hand, Jethro nodded towards the screen.

"Let's watch that, huh?"

"Only if you promise to watch the movie and not me watching it."

Jethro laughed at that and just like that, the gloomy thoughts from only moments ago vanished from Tony's mind as he softly squeezed his hand and then averted his glance to watch Ingrid Bergman instead.

-x-

"Thanks Gibbs, that was really awesome. All of it. Seriously awesome, I mean it," Tony babbled when they pulled over at Gibbs's house a little over two hours later.

And he didn't lie, either. He couldn't remember a birthday when he had last felt that happy. Probably was one of those when his mother was still there, when his dad would actually show up and not forget about it…

"Don't have to thank me for anything. I had fun, too."

"Good to hear," Tony replied and followed him into the house, yawning widely.

"Time for bed already?" Gibbs asked, grinning.

"Depends on what exactly you're planning to do there."

"Whatever happened to your taking-it-slow plan?" he smirked, while he went over to where Tony was standing and pulled his arm around his waist.

"Well, that ship kinda sailed last night, didn't it?"

"I guess, doesn't mean we have to hurry it now, though," Jethro replied and Tony looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity there, despite the slightly dilated pupils.

He had unconsciously moved closer to the guy and cupped his hand behind his neck now as he drew him closer to kiss him. They stayed like that for a while, their tongues battling for dominance, their bodies pressed together tightly.

"No, I want to," Tony finally answered in between two kisses. "Return the favor."

"Okay," Gibbs replied with a real smile on his face now as he crushed their lips together again.

Just like the day before (and had it really been just a few hours? It felt like a lifetime ago already), they stumbled up towards the bedroom with Tony being pressed against the wall twice, almost forcefully, when Jethro bit down on his neck. Tony briefly smiled to himself when he felt him hard against himself. He still couldn't quite comprehend the effect he had on Gibbs. It only occurred to him now how much self-restraint the guy must have had the day before and vowed to himself to try his best to return that particular favor. And then, the realization hit him. He was about to actually do this. And he felt like a freaking virgin, which, granted, he was, too. He tensed up a bit but kept on kissing the other man, trying not to let his insecurity show. But, well, he had forgotten about one thing – Jethro's omniscience.

"Relax," he calmly said now as they had finally reached the bedroom and Tony realized with some surprise that he actually was relaxing somewhat (and, really, how exactly did the guy do that?).

"Okay," Tony answered and gave him a shy smile before he tilted his head ever so slightly and kissed his way along Jethro's jaw line till he reached his earlobe and softly bit down on it, eliciting a low growl from the other man.

He fumbled with the hem of his shirt now before he slipped his hand under the fabric and touched the skin on his still tone stomach. It only occurred to him now that he hadn't touched him properly the day before and swore to himself to catch up on that now. He retreated to the hem again but this time grabbed it and lifted the shirt before he pulled it over the other man's head.

"Better," he grinned before he leaned down ever so slightly, kissing the defined lines of his collarbone.

One hand had come around Jethro's back, lazily drawing patterns on it while the other one found its way to one his nipples, pinching it slightly. He leaned in a little closer now, replacing his hand with his mouth, flicking out his tongue, licking small circles around the nub, causing Jethro to moan again deep from his chest and Tony wrapped his lips around it completely, drawing it into his mouth.

It was only when the other man's hand came around his back, cupping his ass that he realized that he had deliberately let him take the lead in this and was oddly touched by the gesture. He looked up into his face and saw Gibbs smile again, his eyes darker than usual. He returned the smile with enthusiasm before he nodded towards the bed.

They half walked, half stumbled towards it now and flopped down on it with Tony immediately taking the lead again as he leaned into Jethro and all but pinned him down. He picked up his action from before, sucking on his still hard nipple, while his right hand was trailing downwards until it came in contact with the waistband of Jethro's jeans. Without looking, he unbuckled the belt, opened the button and the zip. The older man shifted underneath him as he tried to get rid of his jeans. Tony let his own shirt follow as Jethro's hands started to roam his back again.

Tony took a deep breath now before his hand cupped Jethro's cock through the fabric of his boxers. He heard him grown again as he rubbed over it, strangely satisfied that he was already hard. He let his hand wander under the boxers now and for the very first time in his life was stroking a cock that wasn't his own. He felt excitement shoot through his body as Jethro thrust his hips up ever so slightly with every stroke of his hand. He hurried to get rid of the damn boxer shorts now and paused for a moment to look at the other man's cock, rigidly erect, right under his face.

Tony knew that he could just jerk him off but it wasn't what he wanted at all. He started stroking him again, looking up at the other guy, whose hands were gripping the sheets rather tightly.

"That okay?" he all but whispered now and only received a grunt in answer but apparently, that was all that needed to be said at the moment.

Tony licked his own lips, swallowing the last doubt in his mind before he leaned down and tentatively licked the head of Jethro's cock and received another low growl in return. He nuzzled and tasted before he finally sealed his mouth over the shaft, feeling the other man's fingers groping his hair. For a split of a second, Tony couldn't help but notice that this felt strangely good, sent strange shivers through his body and those facts alone made him push every thought out of his mind and just enjoy the action, Jethro's taste and hardness. The scent was strong and sweet and the goddamn sounds of the grunts coming from Gibbs went straight to Tony's own dick – and he freaking loved it.

He continued to taste the other man, his left hand squeezing his balls as Tony found himself working Jethro's cock harder and faster, pushing the other man closer to the edge with every flick of his tongue, with every sucking thrust of his head. He heard him groan, low and deep from his chest again before he felt the cock in his mouth swell huge and hard. He heard his own name being called out when hot and wet cum spilled over his tongue and into his mouth. Tony kept on sucking a little bit longer, making sure to swallow it all before he felt a soft tug under his shoulder. Jethro stroked a thumb over his chin now before Tony reached up and kissed him again, lazily.

"This was alright, right?" he finally breathed out, already kind of knowing the answer but wanted to make sure anyway.

"''T was great."

Was all that Jethro managed to press out as he reached down to palm Tony's cock through his jeans, catching him by surprise and he let out a moan. The older man grinned at him as he grabbed him by the shoulders and all but threw him onto his back. Tony let out a laugh that was turned into a groan as Jethro unbuckled his belt, opened the jeans and made quick work of undressing him completely. Tony closed his eyes as Jethro's hand came around his by now painfully hard cock and started to stroke him. He involuntarily thrust his hips up now with every stroke, savoring in the feeling of Jethro's hand around his cock and the way he was trailing patterns on his stomach with his other hand. He whipped hard and fast over his cock now and Tony felt his balls tighten far too early and he wasn't even sure whether or not he had shouted as he came harder than he could ever remember (_again_), his breath coming in gasps.

"This was alright, right?" Jethro repeated Tony's earlier question with a smirk.

"You bet," he just replied, still panting, almost desperately trying to get a grip on himself.

Jethro reached around him now and opened the drawer of the nightstand, fishing out some tissues and cleaned himself and Tony up before he laid down right next to Tony, this time his head resting on the younger man's chest.

"So, what's the verdict?" Jethro asked after a while. "You're into the whole sex thing now?"

Tony snorted in amusement and ran his hand through the other man's short hair, earnestly thinking about how to answer that.

"It's better than I ever thought it could be. Thank you."

"No, thank you."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Don't worry, there's gonna be more 'plot' in the next chapter(s) again xD Would love to know what you think! Reviews are pure awesomeness! _


	17. This Too Shall Pass

_A/N: I know I'm hopelessly behind with individual replies to your reviews, I apologize for that. Will try to be better ;) Thanks for your reviews, though. Still always make my day(s)!  
>Just like promised, there's more plot in this one xD<br>Hope you like it ;)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Seventeen: This Too Shall Pass<span>**

Sometimes Tony wondered how blind he must have been all those years in order not to have noticed how attractive Gibbs was. He was currently sitting at his desk, his brow furrowed, staring at the computer screen in front of him, clearly concentrating hard on something. His chin was resting on his left hand and for a fleeting moment, Tony wished he could paint like Kate used to because, seriously, this was as handsome as the guy would ever get. Tony didn't even know when he had started to think about the attractiveness that was Gibbs exactly. Sure, he had always thought that he was rather good-looking, the guy had four marriages to show after all, but even when he had started to notice those deeper feelings for him, it was merely those that had drawn him in.

But now, having seen the guy naked a couple of times, having seen the defined muscles at his back and everywhere else really, he was almost in awe – or not even almost but completely, probably. Adding that to the person Gibbs was on the inside (and that had to be very deep inside, too, to not only see the bastard side), Tony thought he was as close to be the perfect guy for him as he could get.

Miraculously, they had managed to keep their relationship a secret for almost two months now. Even Abby had apparently been able to keep her mouth shut, though Tony suspected that the large quantity of Caf-Pows had probably something to do with that. But Tony wasn't quite sure whether or not he liked the fact that McGee and Ziva hadn't caught up by now. Sure, it wasn't like they were kissing in front of everyone's eyes but some looks, some gestures must have been pretty obvious over the last couple of days and weeks. But shouldn't Ziva and McGee, as the trained investigators that they were, have noticed that something was up between the two of them by now?

Something small suddenly hit his head and he averted his glance from Gibbs, internally tearing himself away from his thoughts. He looked down at what had hit him and realized it was a small paper ball, most likely been thrown by one certain ninja assassin. He glared at her but she merely shrugged, actually smiling at him.

"Tired?" she asked. "Had a long night last night?"

"Nope," Tony replied, smiling (and lying). "Why?"

"You have been staring at the exact same spot for about five minutes, Tony."

"Well, that's called thinking, Ziva."

"Would be nice if you thought about your cold case there," Gibbs suddenly chimed in, looking up from the screen.

"I… I was, Boss," Tony replied and gave him a half-hearted smile, sure that Gibbs would see through the lie anyway.

"Then keep doing it," Gibbs answered indignantly, though Tony could have sworn that for a second he had actually been smirking at him.

Groaning inwardly, Tony looked at his own computer screen, finally starting to review the details on an ancient case after all. It wasn't long afterwards though, that his thoughts started to drift again, wondering if things could stay like they were forever. Sure, they still hadn't closed the deal in the sex department but what they had been doing so far was fun, too, and even though Tony was still kind of nervous about that last step, he knew that he wanted to try that, too. Sometime.

Despite that, though, everything was going rather smoothly, they had developed a satisfying routine and Tony hadn't even had his usual One-Month-Anniversary-Freak-Out. In fact, not even for one second had he been thinking of wanting out of this. He hadn't even wasted a thought about that. It was nice to discover Gibbs' different layers day after day and it was nice to fall asleep in his arms and wake up in those, too. There had been next to no arguments or nothing serious at least.

He was once again risen from his musings by an exaggerated cough coming from Ziva and he subtly shook his head, knowing that he _really _had to get a move on with work now. Just as he wanted to check whether the others were looking at him, Gibbs' cell chirped to life and Tony all but sent prayers to the above that they'd catch a new case because, frankly, cold cases were boring him to no end, especially as they hadn't gotten a new one in over a week.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

Already on the verge of grabbing his gear, Tony eagerly looked at Gibbs who was sporting a rather confused expression at the moment before he answered whoever was calling.

"Yeah, that's me."

He continued to stare at Jethro who had become pale all of a sudden and that was that caught Tony's attention then.

"Where?" Gibbs asked, his voice grave and heavy.

He scribbled something down on a post-it before he hung up the phone and grabbed his things. Tony stared at him for a moment longer, trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

"Everything alright?" he asked as Gibbs had already made his way around his desk.

Not looking at him, instead staring at the post-it again, Gibbs shook his head almost impalpably.

"You're in charge, Tony. When a case comes in, check with Vance and make sure he'll let you handle it."

"Where you're going?" Tony asked, standing up himself now just to get a closer look at Jethro who had gotten, if even possible, even paler.

"Don't wait up," he just answered before he looked up and for a split of a second, he locked eyes with Tony.

"Everything alright?" Tony echoed his earlier question but Gibbs had already turned around and was on his way to the elevators, not bothering to answer.

Tony gazed after him until the doors had closed behind him before he sat down again, his gut feeling all funny – and not in the good way. He exchanged a look with Ziva and McGee before he quickly checked his watch. Only an hour before they would be free to go. He sat down, his gut churning from uneasiness, trying to figure out what had just happened. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to get rid of Jethro's pale face in front of his inner eye but failed miserably. There had to be something seriously wrong because otherwise he wouldn't have left work like that. There was no way in hell, he'd do that.

"McGee?" he finally piped up, when he was sure that his voice would not betray him, would not show that he was worried. "Can you pull the records on Jeth… Gibbs' phone to see who has called him just now?"

McGee looked at him for a second as if he wanted to say something and Tony felt his heart sink, hoping that his slip-up had gone by unnoticed or if it hadn't could be traced back to Gibbs' strange departure.

"Yeah, on it," McGee finally answered and was already typing something on his keyboard and Tony let out a breath he hadn't even known he had been holding.

"Got it," McGee said after a few minutes with Tony fidgeting at his desk, not knowing what to think of first. "It was the Berwick Hospital Center."

"Berwick, Pennsylvania?" Tony asked, trying to keep his voice from betraying him once again but this time he apparently was unsuccessful as Tim quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Yes, Pennsylvania."

"Shit," Tony cursed, hectically gathering his stuff. "How far is that from Stillwater?"

"Stillwater? Why?"

"Just look it up already, Probie," Tony replied indignantly.

"Thirty minutes. Tony, what are you doing?"

"I have to go there," he mumbled in response, more than to himself than to the others.

He looked around, making sure that he got everything and was on his way to the elevators before either Ziva or McGee were even able to say anything. Finally remembering Gibbs' earlier order, he looked back, never slowing down, and shouted over his shoulder.

"Tim, you're in charge. Call me, if anything comes up, okay?"

"Tony, what are you…?" he heard McGee cry after him but then the doors of the elevator closed and effectively cut him off.

-x-

Three hours later, Tony's worry had grown into something else entirely and he couldn't even tell what it was exactly. Ever since he had gotten into his car, he had tried to reach Jethro, had dialed his number every five minutes or so but was always and without exception directly connected to voicemail. He had left a couple of messages, knowing that the older man wouldn't listen to them anyway. He had also tried calling the medical center but they couldn't tell him anything, even as he had played the federal agent card.

He knew that all of this was about Jethro's dad, there was no way around it and he also knew, judging from his expression earlier in the bullpen, that this had to be serious. What he didn't know was why Jethro hadn't said anything, hadn't told them (okay, he could understand not telling Ziva or McGee, but wasn't he different? Hadn't he earned the right to feel different?) and had just left like that.

Sighing, Tony finally pulled over into the parking lot of the hospital and quickly made his way towards the admission, impatiently tapping his fingers on the desk until the woman sitting there finally looked up.

"How may I help you?" she asked politely but Tony had no time for pleasantries.

"I'm looking for Jackson Gibbs," he cut to the chase.

He watched the lady typing something into her computer and nodding ever so slightly before she looked up at him.

"He's in surgery right now," she replied and Tony tried hard to swallow the lump that had suddenly formed in his throat.

"How bad?" he finally asked, running his hand through his hair.

"Are you family?"

"What? No… I mean, I'm his son's… partner."

"Partner at?"

Tony sighed and looked the woman in the eye, hoping she would get it as he repeated. "His partner."

She furrowed a brow for a moment before the realization apparently dawned on her as her eyes widened.

"Oh, sorry. But I'm afraid, I still can't tell you. You can go sit in the waiting room though, if you like."

"There's really nothing you can do?" Tony tried again, giving her his best smile and she actually blushed a bit but shook her head nonetheless.

"Okay," Tony said then, "where's the waiting room then?"

"Just down the hall, you can't miss it."

"Thanks," he replied and was already on his way before he turned around. "Uhm, where's the next coffee vending machine?"

"End of the hall, then turn left."

"Okay."

Tony briefly glanced into the waiting room which was completely deserted, not surprising given the time, so he turned left because, well, even Gibbs would have to wait someplace for more information and where would he most likely be, right? He rounded the last corner and sure enough, there he was sitting on one of those uncomfortable benches, a cup of coffee in his hand. Tony slowed down now, taking in his appearance. There was nothing left of Jethro's usual vigor, he was slumped over, his shoulders hunched and he was staring at the cup in his hands, which were shaking ever so slightly. Tony felt his heart sink the second time today as he slowly and almost carefully approached the guy now. He didn't even seem to notice him until he was already standing right in front of him and had cleared his throat.

Gibbs looked up now and Tony's heart stuttered for a second or two as he looked into his face that was still unnaturally pale. The blue in his eyes was somewhat brighter than usual, too, causing Tony to feel hyperaware of the lump in his throat again.

"What are you doing here?" Jethro finally asked and Tony realized with a start that he actually sounded angry but that couldn't be, why should he be angry, right?

"Thought you might need someone," the younger man answered and sat down next to him.

"Didn't ask you to come," and this time Tony was sure that he actually _did_ sound angry.

Tony stared at him for a moment, unsure of what to say. Wasn't he supposed to be there? It was only now that it occurred to him that maybe the reason why Gibbs hadn't said anything at the office was the fact that he actually didn't want him here. Maybe he had wanted to deal with this alone. But that didn't make sense. Even it made sense in that stubborn head of his, it didn't make sense in Tony's and if it was Gibbs' way to handle whatever it was that had happened to his dad with being angry at Tony, he'd have to deal. It was as simple as that.

"No, you didn't. But I'm here anyway," he carefully replied, not daring to touch him yet, even though every fiber of his being desperately wanted to wrap an arm around him. "What happened?" he continued when Jethro remained silent.

"He had a heart attack at the store. Some kid did CPR on him just in time. They're operating on him now."

"Bypass?" Tony asked only above a whisper.

Jethro just nodded, back at staring at the cup in his hands. They fell into silence after that and Tony for once knew better than to interrupt it. He just kept on sitting there next to him, his thigh lightly touching Jethro's.

"You didn't need to come here," Jethro finally whispered into the silence as if he didn't trust his own voice.

"I know that, Jethro. But I'm here and I won't go anywhere, okay? I'm your personal assistant tonight, you got that?"

Jethro finally turned to look at him, his eyes slightly shimmering, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth for a moment before he looked down again, sighing.

"Thanks," he finally said, barely audible, causing Tony to bump their shoulders together ever so slightly before he reached out and extracted the empty cup out of Jethro's death grip.

"Don't bother, the coffee sucks."

"Thought so," Tony gave him a soft smile as he stood up. "Will try getting some at the nurse's station. Put my charm on and stuff, you know the drill. Let's see what I can do. You stay put, okay?"

-x-

The next hour was stretching out so uncomfortably that Tony at some point was sure that all the clocks must have stopped ticking. They had just kept on sitting there, staring at the opposite wall, barely talking and in Jethro's case never even moving. Tony had succeeded in getting decent coffee (though he hadn't told Jethro about the $30 bribe) but except those coffee runs, he had just sat there with him, trying to be as supportive as he could manage. When finally a doctor rounded the corner towards them, Tony was able to feel Jethro tense next to him and he turned around to look at him and carefully reached out his hand and was mildly surprised when the guy actually took it.

"Are you here for Jackson Gibbs?"

"Yeah, I'm his son," Jethro finally spoke again.

"I'm Dr. Wilson and I'm glad to tell you that the surgery went well, his condition is still critical but stable."

"So, he's going to make it?"

"Well, I can't promise you anything but thing are looking good."

Tony released a relieved breath and heard Jethro next to him do the same.

"Can I see him?"

"He's still sedated but of course, you can. I'll show you to his room. It's only family though," he added looking at Tony.

"He _is _family," Jethro retorted and Tony felt something suddenly tugging at his insides but couldn't tell what it was exactly. All he knew was that he was suddenly feeling a little bit warmer inside.

"Sorry, it's against regulations of the ICU."

The older man had already opened his mouth to disagree but Tony cut him off.

"It's okay, really. Thanks, Doc."

Doctor Wilson nodded his goodbye and left them standing in front of Jackson's door.

"Listen," Tony continued, squeezing Jethro's hand ever so slightly. "You go inside, I'll just wait right here. Call me when you need anything. _Anything_, okay?"

Jethro looked at him and nodded before he furrowed his brow for a moment and then shook his head.

"I can't… he's going to need stuff when he wakes up. I have to go home and get…"

"Hey," Tony interrupted him by letting go of his hand and instead wrapped his arms around him.

He felt him stiffen up for a moment before he returned the hug, his cheek resting against Tony's.

"I can do that," Tony continued, whispering. "You go in there and wait till he wakes up, okay? I'll drive to Stillwater, get some of his stuff, see if there's anything that needs to be done at the store, call NCIS that we're both going to be out for a couple of days and then I'll come straight back here, okay?"

"Tony, you don't…" Jethro started again but was once again cut off.

"Yes, I do. And now shut up and go in there."

He felt him nod against him and then let go and was about to turn around as Jethro got hold of his forearm.

"Elizabeth Grant… she's the one who usually takes over the store whenever Dad is out. She's got the keys to his apartment, too. I don't have her number, though."

"It's okay. I'll just call McGee. He'll find her before I'm even there. And now go," he said emphatically.

Tony had already walked away a few steps as he heard him say his name again and it had been said so softly that his stomach gave an unforeseen jolt at the sound.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

Tony just nodded and gave him a soft smile before he turned around again and was finally able to hear the door behind him open up.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be great!_


	18. Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind

_A/N: Thanks again for your reviews! :) :) :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Eighteen: Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind<span>**

Two days later, Tony was sitting in his hotel room near the hospital, having finally given up on persuading Jethro to catch at least a few hours of sleep. He had spent the last two nights at his father's side, even though the older man seemed to be mostly fine. Tony still hadn't seen him due to the ICU regulations but rumors had it that he would be transferred the next morning. Not that Tony knew whether Jethro would have him visit his dad anyway. They hadn't really talked about it, hadn't really talked at all to be honest, except for short phone calls or coffee runs and sorts. But Tony was fine with that, really, there were more important things right now. He was just glad that Jackson seemed to be doing better. If only Jethro would come to that conclusion, too, and would allow himself a few minutes to rest. The last time Tony had seen him, he had been pale, beyond tired and kind of wired due to all the coffee he had been drinking.

He had barely seen the guy like that before. In fact, he could only think of two times. Right in the aftershocks of Kate's death and the chase after Ari, Gibbs had looked exactly like that – just totally exhausted and somehow still in denial about it all. Tony wasn't even sure about the second time when he was like that because, frankly, his own memories of that were a bit fuzzy due to painkillers and a lot of coughing. It was when he had had the plague and Tony feebly remembered the guy sitting on a chair in his room for at least three nights, never leaving his side, never once averting his glance from him. As Tony came to think about it, he wondered why he hadn't found it odd at the time. Sure, Gibbs was a dedicated boss and cared for his team but didn't that seem a bit too much? Tony made a mental note to ask him about that, just as he heard a quiet knock on his door.

He hurried to open it and was mildly satisfied when he saw Jethro standing there, leaning against the doorframe, apparently all but falling asleep standing up. Tony grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, so that he was able to close the door behind him before he drew him in a tight embrace that would have made Abby very proud.

"You okay?" he whispered after a while when he realized that Jethro apparently wasn't about to release him any time soon.

"Hmm," the other man just let out, resting his chin on Tony's shoulder before he sighed.

"Your dad alright?"

"Yeah," Jethro finally seemed to have found his ability to speak again. "He's sleeping."

"You should be, too. You look horrible."

"Thanks a lot," Jethro replied sarcastically but Tony felt him smile against him anyhow.

"No, I mean it. You should really get some sleep. You're doing no one any good like this. You know that, right?"

He felt him nod before Jethro finally let go of him and sat down on the bed with another sigh.

"Wish I could but there's so much to do," Jethro trailed off, rubbing a tired hand over his face.

"Yeah? Like what?" Tony asked, sitting down next to him, slightly bumping their shoulders together.

"See that everything is settled with the store."

"Already done," Tony replied, giving him a smile.

"Set everything up with Mrs. Grant, make sure she's got everything handled."

"Already done," Tony replied, ignoring Jethro's frown as he continued. "Been there this morning. Liz got it all covered. Her son is there, too and if it's getting too much, she's supposed to call me. So, that's done. What else?"

"Call Vance, ask for comp time…," Jethro started but Tony interrupted again.

"Done and done. You've got at least nine more days. He said as long as I'll be back the day after tomorrow, it'll fine. He just doesn't want the probies to be all alone so much."

Jethro turned to look at him, a strange expression on his face, his eyes a bit brighter than usual and Tony was sure that the fatigue had nothing to do with it. He gave him a rather lopsided smile now before he quickly leaned into him and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Tony," Jethro started, his voice strangely strangled. "You didn't need to do all of that. I can do this all by myself."

"Sure you can," he replied, trying to sound stern. "But that was nothing, goes without saying. After all, I'm trying to win the price for best boyfriend ever."

Tony grinned again due to the fact that he had actually managed to elicit a laugh from the other man. Jethro stared at him for a moment and actually opened and closed his mouth in a very McGee-ish way before he subtly shook his head and started to get rid of his shoes.

"Actually going to sleep now?" Tony asked.

"As there's nothing left to do…"

"Good," Tony gave him a real smile as he watched him crawl under the sheets.

Tony mimicked his action and snuggled up on him from behind which, granted, felt a bit weird as it was usually the other way around. But as he felt the guy almost melt into him and his touch, the weirdness slowly subsided to be replaced by the warm and fuzzy feeling inside him as he realized that he had actually missed this. Tony DiNozzo had missed cuddling. That had to be a first.

He placed a soft kiss on Jethro's neck and was about to close his eyes when he felt him tense up all of a sudden.

"What's wrong?" he asked, propping himself up on his left arm to be able to look at the other man's face again.

"Nothing, just… what did Vance say to you about… you know."

"About us, you mean? Nothing actually, just ordered me to come to his office first thing when I'm back. He didn't sound too appalled though, if that's any consolidation."

"So, he knows?"

"I don't know but he's an investigator, I'm sure that he put two and two together."

Jethro sighed. "Just keeps getting better."

Tony squeezed him ever so slightly and was relieved that the guy actually moved closer to him again. For a moment he thought about the prospect of Vance knowing about them and realized with some surprise that it didn't actually bother him all that much or not as much as he thought it would.

"I'll figure it out, it's not like this thing has affected our work in any way and even the director can't not see that, so don't worry about that for now, okay?"

Jethro nodded, sighed and ran a hand over his face, taking a deep breath as if he wanted to clear his mind.

"So, Ziva and McGee?" he asked then as he turned so that he was lying flat on his back now, locking eyes with Tony in the course.

"I only briefly talked to them – they send their best by the way – and Tiny Tim didn't mention anything but I'm sure they know. I mean my departure the other day wasn't exactly stealth. Sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Jethro gave him a small smile. "I'm glad you're here. But we have to talk to them once I get back. Make sure they're fine with this… with us."

"If that's what you want. I can already see Abby and Ziva cooking up images in those weird minds of theirs."

"Yeah," he replied, yawning widely.

"And now go to sleep. You hear me?"

"That an order, DiNozzo?" Jethro smirked and stole a kiss.

"Yep and if you disobey I might gibbs-slap you."

"That a word now? Gibbs-slap?"

"Yep, regular wordsmith here."

"Okay," Jethro just replied, stifling another yawn as he turned around again. "Thanks," he then added so quietly that Tony wasn't sure he had even said it.

-x-

As Tony slowly woke up the next morning, he felt oddly rested and wasn't even that surprised because, well, he had gotten so used to sleep next to the other man that any night without him usually left him rather restless. What did surprise him, though, was as he squinted at the alarm clock that already read 9.30. Jethro must have been really exhausted if he'd slept for almost ten hours now. Tony tried to disentangle himself without waking him up but the other man's spider-senses were still intact apparently as he stirred and took hold of Tony's upper arm.

"Where you're going?" he mumbled.

"Up, it's half past nine already."

"What?" Jethro sat up and cursed.

"Relax," Tony chuckled ever so slightly. "I'm sure your dad will understand that even you have to catch some sleep at some point."

"Yeah," Jethro just answered distractedly as he all but jumped into his jeans. "You want to come?"

"Is he already out of the ICU?" Tony asked trying to hide his surprise for more than one reason.

"Yep, should be by now. So?"

"Do you want me there?"

"Would I have asked if I didn't?" Jethro replied exasperated as he turned to look at him.

"No… I mean, what do we tell him why I'm even here?"

"He already knows you're here, so come on. I'm sure he wants to see you."

"Okay but why does he think I'm here?" Tony asked, his voice strangely quiet.

"Relax," Jethro echoed Tony's earlier soothing. "We don't have to tell him if you're not comfortable with that. But I'm sure Dad wouldn't mind. Your choice really."

"Plan to give him another heart attack by telling him you're gay?"

"That's not funny, Tony. Besides, he already knows _that_."

"He does?" Tony asked, standing up, eyeing the other man suspiciously.

"Yeah. So, what's it going to be? If you're not going, let me know when you're heading home, okay?"

"No, I'm coming if you're really sure about this."

"Come here," Jethro gestured towards him and waited for Tony to close the distance between them to engage him a tight embrace. "I'm sure. After everything you've done for me these last couple of days… I'm not planning to lie about you, you got that?"

"Okay, then," Tony said smiling broadly, even though the other man couldn't even see his face at the moment and he felt that familiar fuzzy feeling spread in his stomach again. "Let's go."

-x-

"Hey Dad," Jethro greeted his father once they reached his room.

The older Gibbs was lying in bed, propped up on a few pillows and was giving them a half-smile. He was still a bit pale but Tony thought he looked rather good for what he had just gone through.

"Leroy! I was wondering when you were about to show up. I hope you finally allowed yourself to sleep?"

"He did," Tony answered for him, dodging Jethro's glare as he stepped forwards and shook Jackson's hand. "How are you doing?"

"Well, a little heart attack won't bring me down, Tony."

"Of course not," Tony chuckled. "You're a Gibbs and both of you are too stubborn to let anything happen to you, right?"

"You're right, my boy," Jackson just answered and gave him another smile which left Tony strangely giddy inside. "How long you're going to stay here?"

"Not for much longer, I'm afraid. Have to get back to work tomorrow, I don't want Ziva and McGeek miss me too much, you know."

"Seems reasonable," Jackson replied and actually grinned before his eyes flickered to Jethro for a split of a second. "Shame though, because that one will miss you, then."

Tony couldn't help but grin back at the older man before he turned to look at Jethro who was actually – actually – blushing right now and not that faint pink at his ears to which Tony had gotten used to those last couple of weeks but an actual blush, red cheeks and everything.

"Dad," he hissed in what was surely meant to be a threatening tone but Jack just chuckled again.

"That obvious, huh?" Tony chimed in, feeling slightly stupid that he had been so nervous about this, mere moments ago.

"Most obvious thing ever, Tony. I'm just surprised it took him so long to ask you out."

"What are you…?" Tony started but was effectively cut off by a doctor who had chosen this exact moment to enter the room.

He quickly looked at Jethro but the guy was still staring at his father, his cheeks still flushed, apparently refusing to look at him. Tony tried to wrap his head around what Jackson had just said and felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth as the realization dawned on him somewhat. He decided not to ask him about that for the time being, though, instead made another mental note to do it when Jethro was back home again.

-x-

"Morning Tony, how's Jackson?" McGee asked as Tony strolled into the office the next morning.

"He's going to be alright."

"Good," Ziva replied, giving him a smile which Tony couldn't help but return.

"So, when is Gibbs going to come back? He's not coming in today, is he?"

"Nah," Tony replied, sitting down at his desk and booting up his computer. "He's gone for at least another week. So you're stuck with me for the time being, my lovely probies."

"Fantastic," Ziva mumbled sarcastically but nevertheless grinned at him and Tony instantly knew that she didn't mean it like that.

"Uh, Tony?" McGee chimed in again, exchanging a glance with Ziva and Tony sighed inwardly.

He had known of course that the questions would come and he had a response in store, too, but still, he had hoped that they would at least give him five minutes into the conversation to actually do it.

"Just get it out, McGee," Tony replied, sighing exasperated.

"Well," McGee cleared his throat, awkwardly glancing at Ziva again, who just grinned at him, before he continued. "We were just wondering what was going between you and… Gibbs. It seemed kind of, you know, strange that you would drive to Stillwater and all that stuff."

Tony sighed again and stood up, bringing himself into a position in the middle of the bullpen (with lots of exits if he should feel like running after all). It wasn't like he was feeling uncomfortable about this but he would have preferred having Jethro there with him. He looked from Tim to Ziva and was somewhat relieved that they apparently weren't all that bothered about it but were only looking at him curiously.

"Listen guys, your, uh, suspicions are right. If you have any problems with that at all, tell us, okay? But, please, not at work. And we're, you know, going to make it official once all of this blows over and Jethro's back here. Is that alright with you?"

"Jethro?" Ziva asked now, smirking. "Wow."

"That's his name, isn't it?" Tony replied smiling at her, feeling the rock rolling off his chest at the still friendly and (but he must imagine that) supportive expression that Ziva was sporting.

"That alright, Tim?" he turned to look at the younger man as he had remained silent after Tony's declaration and he felt his insides clench at the slightly paler than usual face.

"I guess," McGee said, pulled out his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans and rummaged through it for a moment before he pulled out fifty dollars and placed them onto Tony's desk.

"What's that for?"

"We had a bet, remember?" McGee replied, finally giving him a (even it was rather awkward) smile. "I said that it was about a redhead and you said he was done with them? Well, as far as I know, you're not one."

Tony let out a laugh, right when a rather stern sounding voice traveled down the stairs into the bullpen.

"DiNozzo! My office now."

"On my way, Director," Tony replied loudly, feeling the nervousness rushing back to him before he added more quietly. "I'm going to buy the both of you lunch today for those fifty bucks."

"Good luck," McGee just replied and Tony slowly made his way up the stairs.

-x-

"Director?" Tony said as he closed the door behind him, suddenly realizing that his hands were sweating.

"Sit down, DiNozzo," Vance gestured towards the chair in front of his desk. "How is Mr. Gibbs?"

"He's going to be alright, Sir."

"Glad to hear that."

"But that's not what you wanted to talk to me about, is it?" Tony replied unable to shut himself up.

"No, indeed not. Agent DiNozzo how would you define your relationship towards Agent Gibbs?"

"Well," Tony dragged out the word, trying to buy himself some time. "He's an excellent boss and I - and the others for that matter, too, - know that he's always there for us no matter what."

"I take it that the feeling is mutual?"

"Of course, Director."

"That why you were gone the last couple of days? To be there for Agent Gibbs?"

"Yes," Tony simply answered, knowing not to say too much.

"How long has this been going on, DiNozzo?" Vance continued, his eyes practically boring into Tony's, who felt his heart starting to race again – this was not good, not good at all.

"What, Sir?"

"Cut the BS, DiNozzo. How long have the two of you been involved with each other?"

"We're not…" Tony replied but was cut off once again.

"Lie to me now and you can pack your stuff tonight."

"Two months, Sir, and I don't mean any disrespect but our… relationship has not affected our work ethic at all. You can look at our stats and all. Nothing has changed. The team still has the highest solving rates"

"That hasn't slipped my attention, Agent DiNozzo. But you do realize that relationships like that are against official NCIS rules."

"Yes, Sir," Tony replied again and stood up, never once averting his eyes from Vance's. "But like I said, it hasn't affected our work. And I assure you, it won't – ever. If one of us would notice that something was off, I promise you, said person would resign immediately."

"Agent DiNozzo, it's not that simple."

"Yes, it is," Tony replied, his voice rising ever so slightly. "The moment, you notice that our rates are down, the moment Ziva or McGee come to us and say they're not okay with this, one of us will resign."

"Okay," Vance replied slowly, apparently taken aback by Tony's honesty. "I'll keep a close eye on you. The both of you."

"No problem," (_yeah, right_). "You do that."

With that, Tony stood up, quickly left the director's office, all but ran down the stairs, past Ziva and McGee and went straight into the elevator, where he pressed the emergency button. He fished his cell phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed 1 on his speed dial.

"Hey Tony, what's up?" Jethro's gruff voice was to be heard through the speaker and Tony felt himself relax instantly.

"I just had a nice talk to the director."

"What did he say?" and the guy actually sounded worried now.

"That he's going to keep an eye on the two of us. And if we're going to mess up the tiniest of things, one of us has to resign immediately."

"That doesn't sound too bad. We just won't."

"Won't what?"

"Mess it up, Tony. We're both professionals, it'll work out."

"You sure?" Tony sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"Of course. I'm omniscient, remember?"

Tony let out a laugh as he leaned back against the metal walls before he continued to speak. "I miss you."

"Miss you, too," and with that Jethro hung up, leaving Tony standing there, still a bit unsure and yet somehow grinning like a madman. Maybe everything actually would be alright after all…


	19. Quantum Effect

_A/N: Thanks again for your awesome reviews!_

_We're slowly getting to the end of this story (and I'm surprised it turned out so long as I only anticipated around 10 chapters in the beginning xD)... this is the second to last part ;)_  
><em>Hope you like it.<em>

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Nineteen: Quantum Effect<span>**

On Friday that week, Tony had all but been counting the minutes till they'd finally be free to go. They had caught a case a couple of days ago but Tony and the others had made quick work in taking the killer into custody. Tony had felt mildly satisfied when he had handed in the report to Vance who hadn't spared him as much as a glance. If this would go on like that, he wouldn't even mind, Tony thought. A day he didn't have to talk to the director was a good day anyway.

Tony internally thought through the things he had to pack before hitting the road to make a surprise visit to Stillwater. He had pondered to simply ask Jethro whether he could come visit them over the weekend but then he remembered how much the guy hated surprises. So after that, it was kind of a done deal to do exactly that – surprise him. He sighed inwardly, only now realizing how much he actually missed him. Normally, he wasn't like that – at all. He was a guy who needed his space from time to time but even only five days without seeing Jethro (because those phone calls really didn't help against the loneliness at all) made him feel all queasy inside, even though he would never admit that to anybody – not even to himself.

So as they were finally free to go, he hurried to get his stuff and in record time (for him, surely not for Gibbs, though) made his way to his apartment. He had just finished packing his stuff when his cell phone chirped and he slightly grinned when he looked at the caller ID.

"Hey Jethro."

"Hey, you still at work?"

"Nope, didn't catch a case. Miracle, I know. Was just about to go home and watch a movie."

"Would you mind stopping by at my house?"

"No, of course not. Why?"

"Get the mail and water the plants?"

"Where in the world do you have plants in your house, Jethro?" Tony laughed as he closed the door to his apartment behind him.

"Bedroom and living-room. Of course, you wouldn't notice them."

"And what's that supposed to mean now? Just because mine are not really real, doesn't mean I don't…"

"Alright," Jethro chuckled on the other end and Tony felt a strange ping in his stomach at the sound of it because he hadn't heard Jethro joke about something in almost two weeks. "So, can you stop by at my house?"

"Already on my way."

He stayed on the phone the whole drive towards Gibbs' place. They talked about nothing in particular but yet it felt oddly calming, oddly normal even. Tony couldn't wait seeing him in a few hours. Jackson was apparently doing better if Jethro's good mood was any indication. Tony finally pulled over into Jethro's driveway, got out the car and walked towards the mailbox just to find it completely empty. As he closed the lid again, joking about Jethro not being polite enough to even receive any bills in over a week, Tony's eyes fell upon the name scribbled on the box. It was painted in pink color, clearly a kid's writing and by now almost faded completely.

Tony sighed, realizing that it had probably been Kelly's doing. His heart suddenly felt a bit heavier and he didn't even know why exactly. Maybe it was the fact that even twenty years after her death, Jethro still refused to talk about her most of the time. Or maybe it was because Tony hadn't managed to have _that_ talk with the guy yet. Of course, he knew that Jethro was serious about them and he also knew that he would never be able to replace Shannon (not that he even wanted to do that). But still, Tony actually needed to know where exactly he was standing.

Still in thoughts, he quickly made his way towards the front door, realizing only now that he had no idea how to get in there.

"Do you have a key somewhere?" he asked Jethro on the other end of the line, only to receive a chuckle as an answer.

"Since when do I lock the door, Tony?"

"Not even when you're out for a week or so?"

"Didn't exactly plan all of this when I went to work last week, T."

"Right," Tony replied, subtly shaking his head. "Sorry. So where did you say are those plants?"

"Bedroom."

"Okay, on it, Boss."

Tony climbed the stairs and opened the door to the by now well-known room. He quickly glanced around and then let out a surprised yelp when his glance reached the bed. Lying there, his cell phone still attached to his ear, was Jethro, grinning broadly at him.

"You son of a…," Tony chocked out, his heart rate still not back to normal. "What are you doing here?"

"Thought I might surprise you," Jethro just replied as he got up and slowly approached him now. "And I think you might not need this anymore," he continued, grabbing Tony's phone that was still cradled between his head and shoulder.

"I guess not," Tony finally managed to smile at him before he was drawn into a kiss.

He felt himself melt into Jethro's embrace, pulled his own hands around his neck in order to deepen the kiss, realizing just how much he had actually missed this. They stayed like that for what felt like forever and yet it was not nearly enough. But when they finally broke apart, both of them breathing rather erratically, Jethro gave him such a brilliant smile that made Tony forget all the doubts that had just resurfaced a couple of minutes ago.

"God, I missed you," Tony finally stated as he sat down on the bed next to the other man.

"Good to hear. Missed you, too."

"How come you're here already?" Tony asked as he let himself fall back onto the bed and was mildly surprised when Jethro did the same and then interlaced their fingers.

"Dad's been transferred to a rehabilitation facility this morning. It's a lot closer to here, so it would have made no sense staying there any longer."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Like I said, I wanted to surprise you. And judging by your incredulous look before, that mission's accomplished."

Tony let out a laugh and shook his head before he leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Jethro's lips again. They kept on lying there, just looking at each other for a while and Tony realized that he wouldn't exactly mind doing that for all times to come. It was only when the other man cleared his throat that he snapped out of his headspace and remembered his earlier thoughts.

"Can I ask you a question?" he said now, propping himself up on his elbows.

Jethro just nodded, so Tony continued. "I hope you're not mad but I really need to know… really need to."

He trailed off, absent-mindedly taking Jethro's hand before he looked at him again.

"Just… where exactly do I stand with you? I mean, I know that Shannon and Kelly will always be… you know… but where am I? What am I to you?"

"Listen Tony," Jethro sighed and scrubbed his free hand over his face. "I'm not saying this to hurt you in any way, okay? But I'll always love Shannon and Kelly, nothing and no one will ever change that. The thing is, I've tried to replace them quite a few times but well, you know that, it never worked out. Mostly because I've never opened up to my ex-wives and girlfriends and I've realized that fact a long time ago. But I also know that you're different. Not because of the obvious reasons but because of who you are on the inside. Tony, I've never trusted anyone more than I trust you and not just on the job but everywhere else, too. I would have never started anything with you, not after all this time if I wasn't absolutely sure I wanted you to be with me, okay? I haven't felt like that since… Shannon. I don't know if that's enough for you because I know you deserve more than a grumpy old man, who's a bastard ninety percent of the time. But you have to know that I really want you and not just because I want to fill the void that Shannon and Kelly have left. I want someone who I can rely on and so far you've done a great job at that. I never expected you to show up at the hospital last week without a doubt that it was where you were needed, without any hesitation. And if I hadn't already noticed it before that, it would have been then that I knew that I love you."

Tony stared at him in a fashion that was possibly very deer-in-the-headlights-y. His mind was spinning from the overflow of information all of a sudden and his heart was working overtime again.

"I… I don't think I've ever heard you talk that much," he finally chocked out when Jethro clasped his hand tightly, causing Jethro to let out a rather shaky laugh.

"I tell you I love you and that's all you've got to say?"

"No, sorry. I'm just… I hadn't expected that," Tony replied hesitantly, still desperately trying to organize his thoughts that were swirling around in his head. "I mean… so, you're saying, you really want me, you really want to stay with me?"

"Yeah, I want to," Jethro replied, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he leaned over and brushed his lips against Tony's for a moment. "Except that's not what you want."

"No," Tony hastened to reply, looking into the other guy's eyes again. "I want that with every freaking fiber of my being. And you're really sure about this?"

"I've never been surer of anything in my life, Tony. And listen, I don't expect you to say I love you or anything. I've had a lot more time to think about it than you have. I just wanted to let you know."

"What do you mean, you had more time?" Tony asked, sitting up completely now and saw Jethro next to him doing the same as he sighed again.

"Remember when my dad said he was surprised it took me so long to ask you out? I mean, I've never told the guy or anyone for that matter… but, to be honest, I've had… a thing for you for a really long time. But I valued our friendship too much to ever act on it, you know. And that was why I was so angry when you told me that you only wanted to get your rocks off because for a short night, I had been in that happy place of thinking you wanted me, too."

"Wow," was all that Tony managed to say before he leaned over and almost forcefully crushed his lips against Jethro's.

They kissed for a while before Tony slowly got rid first of his shirt and then of Jethro's. The other man looked at him for a few moments before he was suddenly on top of him and averted his lips from Tony's, instead biting down on his collarbone. He was half lying on the younger man now, pressing hot, feverish kisses to his collarbone and throat before he slid down even more and carefully sucked on his increasingly sensitive nipples. Tony felt his breathing pick up pace and get louder as Jethro massaged and caressed his chest and stomach, licking and nipping along the way. Tony groaned as Jethro's fingers reached down, only grazing his hard cock. He forgot about almost everything, completely focused on the alternating heat and cool where Jethro would blow and suck on his chest, on the pain and pleasure when he bit down on his nipples and then on the lack of that kind of contact he desperately craved.

"I… I want you to fuck me," he finally pressed out when Jethro was unbuckling his belt.

Jethro paused for a moment, staring at him intently and Tony felt himself squirm under his gaze.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, never been surer of anything in my life," Tony just echoed Jethro's earlier words as he pulled him closer to him again, kissing him open-mouthed.

"Okay," Jethro panted in between two kisses. "You say stop and I'll stop, okay?"

"I know, I trust you," Tony replied, locking eyes with him, trying to make him understand, understand everything that was going on in his mind at the moment, even that stuff that he didn't even understand himself.

Jethro just nodded and Tony's heart started to race again but he chalked it up to nerves and probably excitement, too. The older man made quick work with getting rid of both of their pants. They were both lying on the bed now, kissing slowly and lazily. But Jethro's hands were suddenly all over him and Tony couldn't even manage to follow his every move and that was maybe why he was surprised to hear the soft click when Jethro opened the tube of lube because he had no idea when the other guy had grabbed it. And he was still focused on the other man's face when he suddenly felt Jethro's first finger slowly sliding into him to the knuckle. He let out an involuntary hiss, which was swallowed by the other man's mouth as he tried to distract and relax him. And it worked, too, as Tony only focused on Jethro's hot mouth and slick tongue against his own. After a while – and Tony _really_ couldn't tell how much time had passed because he was way too focused on what was going on – he was rubbing his own cock lazily as Jethro scissored two fingers into him. It didn't hurt really, probably because the other man was overly careful, but still, Tony couldn't quite understand why everyone was so nuts for it. But then, and he couldn't even tell whether he cried out because it was actually painful or because it felt so freaking good that it hurt, Jethro's fingers jabbed him in the right spot.

"Fuck," he cried out, bucking his hips away from his fingers only to whimper – actually whimper – at the loss of contact.

Jethro chuckled ever so slightly as he leaned down to kiss him before he picked up his actions again, with every stroke touching the spot again and with every stroke working Tony more into a frenzy. He moaned when Jethro suddenly let go of him and instead lubed up his cock.

"And you're really sure?" he asked one more time but Tony couldn't even managed to answer him, so he just nodded, causing Jethro to line up with his entrance. As he felt his cock enter, it did hurt but it wasn't particularly bad. No, it was rather hot actually and even hotter when he heard Jethro groan as he slowly slid into him, arms trembling on either side of Tony's head as he waited for his go-ahead. He let him wait for a few moments, adjusting to him, before he nodded. Jethro kissed him again as he started to slowly move in and out, causing Tony to moan and eventually thrust back at him, with every move hitting exactly the right spot. Jethro reached down one of his hands now, and started stroking Tony's already leaking cock in time with his thrusts. Tony felt his thoughts getting hazy again as he blindly focused on the sensations that were cursing through his body and it didn't take long before they both started to moan and Tony felt his muscles and balls tighten before he came, with Jethro following very close behind.

Tony must have drifted off to sleep shortly afterwards because when he woke up a little while later, his stomach still sticky from his cum, Jethro was lying next to him, one arm draped around him, softly smiling at him.

"You okay?" he asked and Tony could tell by his blue eyes piercing him that he really wanted an honest answer.

"More than. This was incredible. Thanks," he just replied and reached up ever so slightly to kiss him. "Oh," he continued as he laid his head upon Jethro's chest. "And just because I didn't tell you an hour ago, doesn't mean, I don't do it."

"Do what?" Jethro replied and Tony was able to hear the confusion in his voice.

He looked up again, his chin resting on Jethro's collarbone now. "Love you."

And the smile that Tony got in return was worth everything.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be super! :)_


	20. Finally Falling

_A/N: So here we are... at the end of this story. I had lots of fun writing this and it certainly won't be my last Gibbs/Tony fic... though they probably won't be as long as this one xD  
>Thanks to all of you who alerted, favorited and especially reviewed along the way. It always made me smile whenever I checked my emails. Thank you, seriously :)<br>Hope you like the final chapter, too! :)_

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter Twenty: Finally Falling<span>**

"Stop bouncing, you're making me restless there," Jethro all but hissed the next day, looking at him sternly.

Tony almost forcefully tried to relax himself as he leaned back against the backrest of the couch but had no success.

"Can't help it. I'm nervous," he replied.

"About what? They already know."

"Yeah but they didn't, you know… I mean, I don't know what they really think about this."

They had decided to invite the rest of the team over for dinner to be able to talk to them about their relationship. And Tony _really_ was nervous. He knew, of course, that if they really did have problems with the two of them, they would have shown him over the last week – with him being the sole lead of the team - but still he felt slightly itchy, slightly restless and to be completely honest, he was terrified, too. And he didn't even know why.

"Relax," Jethro urged and leaned into him, brushing his lips against Tony's and he actually felt more comfortable all of a sudden.

He kissed him back with enthusiasm, turning towards him fully. He felt Jethro's hand grip his hip and softly stroke it, causing him to place his own hand on the other man's thigh, inching towards him. He tentatively licked the other man's lips with his tongue and felt him open his mouth and let him in, their tongues battling for dominance, neither one of them winning. It was only when he heard someone clearing his throat loudly behind him that they backed away from each other. Tony turned around now, facing a broadly grinning Abby who was holding her phone in her hand triumphantly, causing Tony to blush furiously.

"Don't tell me you took a picture of that?" he asked as he stood up, feeling the insecurity rush back to him.

"I did," Abby beamed, looking at the screen in front of her. "And no, I'm not deleting it," she added as Tony tried to snag it from her.

"Just don't do anything with it," Jethro finally chimed in. "Especially don't put it into that bird thing."

"Bird thing?" Abby asked, scrunching up her nose in confusion before she laughed. "Oh, you mean Twitter? Wouldn't dare. I'll only use it for my personal pleasure, Bossman."

"Good," Jethro just replied, kissing her forehead and Tony _really _didn't know how a photo like that in Abby's possession could ever be a good thing.

"So you guys really want to do this? That's so awesome," Abby said, sitting down on one of the chairs in Jethro's kitchen.

"You sure it's a good idea?" Tony replied and he realized that his voice sounded rather shaky again.

"You're not nervous, are you?" she replied, putting a hand on his shoulder as he sat down next to her. "There's absolutely no reason to! The others are totally fine with you guys."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, totally. Gibbs, tell him that it'll be fine."

But just as Gibbs had opened his mouth to reply, they heard McGee and Ziva enter the house, apparently bickering about the choice of beverages for tonight. They stepped into their field of vision a few moments later, Ziva carrying two six packs of beer and McGee three bottles of red wine. Tony felt his tension ease up a bit when he realized that both of them were apparently in a good enough mood and were smiling at them as they said hello.

"So, what's for dinner tonight?" McGee asked as he sat down on one of the remaining chairs around the kitchen table.

"Pizza," Tony replied, mildly satisfied that his voice seemed to have lost a bit of its shakiness.

"See," Ziva said, grinning broadly. "So we both brought the right thing to drink, McGee."

"Has anyone of you guys brought any milk?" Abby chimed in, looking expectantly from Tim to Ziva who both shook her heads.

"Don't tell me you drink milk with your pizza, Abs?" Tony asked, playfully appalled. "I think my ancestors have just turned in their graves."

"Oh shush you, Tony. Just be glad I don't put ketchup on my pizza. I've seen people do that."

"Gross," Tony exclaimed, flashing a grin at her, thankful for the distraction and received a wink in return, signaling him that she knew exactly what she was doing.

The conversation flowed freely for a while as they talked about nothing in particular, work mostly actually and Tony felt himself relax even more but couldn't tell whether it was listening to the others talking that did the trick or the fact that Jethro was softly pressing his thigh against Tony's, causing him to almost melt into the touch. The fact alone that the older man was doing this in the presence of the others had to count for something though, right? He briefly looked at him, giving him a smile and received a simple nod in return and that was really all that he needed at the moment anyway. As he was just about to join Abby and McGee's discussion about the best 007 movie, the door bell rang and Tony hurried to get up to let in the pizza delivery guy. He had his hand already on the doorknob as the door was opened from the other side and revealed Ducky talking animatedly to the poor guy who had his hands full with cartons of pizza and looked at the doctor in a rather desperate fashion.

Tony gave him his best smile as he pulled out his wallet from his back pocket of his jeans and gave the guy a big tip before he grabbed the cartons and shooed Ducky into the house.

"Dinner is served, Ladies and Gentlemen," he announced as he reentered the kitchen, handing the pizzas to the others. "Dig in."

-x-

They had eaten in relative silence, though it was a rather comfy one, and for a fleeting moment Tony caught himself thinking that this was actually nice, that this was one of those things that he'd actually like to repeat. He quickly glanced at Jethro as the thought struck him that the other guy probably wasn't all that much into gatherings like that. But he seemed to be genuinely happy, judging from the slight smile on his lips, judging from his patience in explaining some kind of wood working procedure to Ducky. All of that though, wasn't what made Tony think that the other guy actually liked what was going on. No, it was only when Jethro caught him staring at him apparently out of the corners of his eyes - and without even pausing the conversation with Ducky, even if only for a moment - and took Tony's hand under the table.

The younger man felt his cheeks flush and quickly looked down at their joined hands. Jethro softly squeezed his hand, still not looking at him and Tony relaxed again. Well, until his glance reached Abby who was smiling broadly at him, raising a suggestive eyebrow. He just grinned back, probably pretty idiotically, but he didn't care. He just winked at her, causing her smile to broaden even more now, her green eyes twinkling. He briefly glanced at McGee who was apparently trying hard not to look at him at the moment, his ears and cheeks slightly pink and Tony's heart immediately grew heavier again.

Tony cleared his throat rather loudly before he looked at McGee again.

"You okay, McGee?"

The other conversations stopped rather abruptly now as they turned to look at the two of them.

"Why wouldn't I be?" the younger agent asked, still staring intently at the pizza in front of him.

"I don't know," Tony replied. "You seem a bit… flustered there, Tim."

Apparently surprised by the use of his first name, McGee finally looked up, staring into the general direction where Tony and Gibbs were sitting before he ran a hand through his short hair and nodded.

"I'm totally fine… with everything. Just… I just have to get used to all," he gestured around aimlessly. "Of that, that's all."

"You sure?" Jethro joined their conversation, never letting go of Tony's hand, au contraire actually, he seemed to be grabbing it even firmer.

"Yeah, Boss. Besides… what difference would it make if I wasn't?"

"It would make all the difference," Jethro said so calmly and quietly that McGee looked at him again, his eyes widening.

"Why?"

"Because," Jethro started again but Tony cut him off this time.

"Because we want you to be comfortable with this. Because if you aren't, I'm not sure how this… thing… relationship between Jethro and me will play out, okay? We, or rather I, I guess, need your support and if you're having only the slightest doubt about this, it could go down the drain in no time."

"You really mean that?" McGee stuttered, his cheeks flushing even more.

"Yeah," Gibbs answered for Tony. "We don't want our relationship interfere with work or with any friendship here, okay? So if any of you are having any doubts, let us know. Please."

There was stunned silence for a few moments and Tony had to actually (despite the serious situation and all) bite his tongue not to point out to his partner that he had just actually said please. But well, some situations apparently called for it, even for Jethro. Tony felt himself tense up again as McGee had lowered his head again, finding interest in his pizza.

"I for one," Abby suddenly ended the poignant silence. "Have no problem whatsoever. I think it's awesome that the two of you finally realized how well you fit together and from what I see here, it's working just fine and it hasn't affected your work at all, so where should be the problem, right?"

"Thanks, Abs," Jethro replied and Tony nodded, his head feeling oddly disconnected from his body by now.

"Yeah, me, too," Ziva picked up Abby's little speech and Tony felt his heart stutter for a moment when the youngest of them gave him a smile that almost matched the Goth's. "You seem to be happy and a happy Tony always means less pranks and I can really live with that. I am happy for both of you."

"Thank you," Tony replied and blinked a few times, desperately trying to swallow the lump in his throat at her words.

This wasn't exactly like Ziva to express her… opinions (feelings, even?) like that and Tony hoped that he could actually make it up to her sometime. He took a deep breath and squeezed Jethro's hand for a moment and the other man returned the favor as they both turned towards Ducky who was sporting a rather curious expression.

"Oh, don't you look at me now," he said as he realized that their attention was on him. "I've been alright with the idea of the two of you together for years. Come to think about it, I should have probably started a pool on your case. I would have made a lot of money, boys."

Tony let out a laugh, incredulously staring at him as he returned the smile. "You serious?"

"Dead serious, Anthony. The way I see it, this was only a matter of time, my boy," he replied, winking.

"Ooookay," Tony just said, dragging out the word while he returned to look at McGee who was still eyeing his abandoned pizza in front of him.

"Tim?" Jethro asked now, his voice strangely strangled and that fact apparently caused the young man to finally look at him again.

"I'm okay with you. Really, I am," he started, reverting back to his stuttering probie-days. "I'm just… kinda having problems with the concept of you. I mean… I didn't even know you were even remotely… you know…"

"What?" Tony asked feeling slightly relieved due to McGee's statement. "Gay?"

As McGee just nodded, Tony continued. "Look, I don't think I've suddenly turned gay, okay? This… thing with Jethro came as a surprise to me, too. I mean, I've never looked at a guy twice before or anything. It just happened, you get that?"

"But why now all of a sudden?"

"I have no clue," Tony replied, his heart feeling a bit lighter due to the fact that Tim actually held the eye contact now. "Maybe it just took me ten years to realize that I was in love with him, I don't know. I mean, I've always been slow."

That actually elicited a laugh from Ziva and Abby and even McGee slightly grinned at him before he nodded.

"Okay," he just said then and finally picked up the last slice of his pizza.

"Really?" Jethro pressed. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, Boss. I'm fine with all of this and I know that you would never jeopardize anything if you weren't sure about what you are doing. And I trust the both of you… so, I'm fine. Really."

"And to mark the occasion," Abby suddenly chimed in (squealing actually). "I want to see the two of you kiss. Now."

Tony let out a laugh before he shook his head and answered. "You already did, Abs. No need to repeat it."

"Come on, just a quickie, T. I can still put the photo online of the two of you tonguing each other. I don't care."

Tony looked at Jethro and grinned slightly as he saw the familiar blush creeping up on him, starting out from his ears. He chuckled before he leaned towards him, putting a hand on the back of his neck to draw him closer to him and pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, leaving Abby squealing once again.

"Satisfied now?" Jethro grumbled, the blush finally having reached his cheeks (and yep, Tony actually was satisfied that he was the reason for that one).

"Very," Ziva said, laughing.

-x-

Tony had just brought McGee, Ziva and Abby to the door and was about to walk into the kitchen again as he was able to hear Ducky and Jethro talk in rather hushed voices. He stealthily came closer so that he was to understand what they were talking about.

"Does Anthony know how long you actually were in love with him, my dear Jethro?"

"It was not that long, Duck," Jethro replied, rather annoyed. "Just the last two years or so, that's all."

"Bloody right," Ducky chuckled and Tony stopped breathing for a moment when he continued. "You've probably been in love with the boy since Baltimore and you know that."

"I was not," the younger of the two answered indignantly, causing Tony to grin again, knowing that Ducky had probably hit some truth there.

"You were, Jethro, you were. Maybe you just didn't realize it."

Tony chuckled loudly now as he stepped into the kitchen, causing Jethro to jump – actually jump – at the sight of him.

"Relax," Tony just grinned, pulling an arm around him. "It's just good to hear that sometimes even the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs is in denial."

_~FIN~_

* * *

><p><em>AN: Reviews would be really really great! :)_

_Thanks for reading ;)  
><em>


End file.
